“Tell me or I leave you just like this.”
It’s an empty threat because leaving her “just like this” means leaving me “just like this,” and there’s no way this ends any way other than me inside her.
“What’s chinga mean, Ban?”
“It means . . .” There’s resignation and reluctance in her sigh. “Fuck. It means fuck, okay?”
“Ahhh, like fuck,” I say, lowering my head and closing my mouth over her clit again. “That feels good?”
“Oh, God,” she pants. “Yeah.”
“Like fuck . . .” I drag my tongue from her asshole to the top of her slit “. . . Don’t stop?”
“Please,” she begs, her fingers twisting in my hair. “Please, don’t stop.”
I fumble around on the floor until I find my jeans and reach into the pocket for my wallet. This, I’ve done in the dark. I could put on a condom in a coma.
The narrowness of the sofa makes it awkward, so I sit on the couch, find her in the dark, and tug her to her knees. And the same way I felt her pleasure, I feel her freeze and then pull back, away.
“Uh, no.” She clears her throat. “You get on top.”
Whatever. On top. Underneath. On the side. In is all I care about right now. Back on my knees at the end of the couch, I bring her legs over my shoulders. I touch her again, and she’s still dripping wet, slick, hot. I poise myself at her entrance, and though we can’t see each other, I look to where I know her eyes should be, and I sense her looking where mine should be. And even in the dark, I think we see each other. There’s an intimacy to the darkness. I see less of her, but I somehow feel this more deeply. Every smell, every sound, every texture becomes a clue to her pleasure. I plunge in, and we both gasp. She clamps around me. Is she a virgin? I didn’t even think to ask. I should have.
“You okay, Ban? You’ve . . . uh, done this before, right?”
“Yes, it’s just . . . just been awhile. Is everything okay?”
Okay? Is nirvana okay? Is utopia okay? Because that is what Banner’s tight-fisted pussy feels like around my hungry cock. Like someone tossed paradise and heaven into a blender to make this moment.
“Yeah, it’s good,” I say.
Understatement. No need to reveal her pussy sent me into an existential crisis.
I withdraw only for a second and to the very tip, but it feels like torture until I push back in. She surrounds me. The smell of her invading my nostrils, the taste of her lingering on my tongue, the feel of her gripping not just my cock but my whole body.
Banner Morales has a hold on me.
“Chinga,” I whisper in her ear with my next thrust.
“God, Jared.” She tightens around me.
“Chinga,” I say again, plunging in as far as her body will allow. I want to reach the bottom, to mark and claim her from the inside out.
“Sí, sí,” she pants, her English disintegrating. “Por favor.”
The sound of her begging in her first language, knowing we’ve stripped away not just the layers of lumpy sweatshirt and baggy pants but the layers we hide behind and use to protect ourselves have evaporated, undoes me. Her body contracts around me, and I empty into her with a roar that reiterates what I told her earlier tonight. Darwin. Maslow. Who cares. In the end, we are just animals. Primitives driven by urges we barely understand but, with the right person, find ourselves slave to.
Banner’s the right person.
I don’t care if her internship is on the Moon, there’s no way this was the last time. We’ll do it again, the sooner the better. And I guarantee the next time I have her, there will be light.
5
Banner
Aftershock.
How the earth tremors following a seismic disruption. A result of great upheaval at the core.
That so perfectly describes what I’m feeling. A disruption. I’m not sure if it started at my core or shook me to it.
But I know at the epicenter lies Jared Foster.
We’re facing each other on the narrow couch, my bare leg slotted between his and my head tucked under his chin. He strokes my back, my hair, my shoulders. He can’t seem to stop touching me, and for a few moments, I don’t care about my lumps or dimples or rolls. It just feels good to be touched this way—with passion and care. Byron was the last guy I shared any kind of intimacy with, and every touch was a lie. There’s always been a frankness, an honesty between Jared and me. It translates to physical intimacy, and I want to hold onto it as long as my logical brain will allow. I want to stop asking why me and just enjoy him, us together.
He smells like yesterday’s bodywash and clean sweat. And . . . him. Whatever “he” is naturally, I detect it under everything else. For whatever reason, I have a temporary brain lapse and dart my tongue out to taste the shallow well at the base of his throat. Salty and smooth. Maybe he won’t notice that bit of stalkerism.
“Did you just lick me?”
Ugh.
“No.” Deny, deny, deny.
“You did.” He dips his head, his chuckle feathering over my lips. “You licked me.”
“I just wanted to—”
“No need to apologize. You can lick me anywhere.” He tips my chin. “As long as I can lick you back.”
His tongue passes over my neck, and I shudder. Another aftershock. My skin prickles. I shift my legs between his and my thigh grazes his dick.
“Oh. I’m sorry. I—”
“You keep apologizing for things that feel good.”
I see the outline of his head moving toward me. He’s going to kiss me. Even with time to prepare, to brace myself, I’m still not ready for the possessive fit of his mouth over mine, the slow, lazy stroke of his tongue, the thrust of his hips mimicking the motions of our mouths. His hand slips between my legs, separating the lips of my pussy and sliding up and down the wet slit, soothing the sore tissues. He did not hold back and took me hard. It was rough and thorough, and the best thing that has ever happened to my vagina.
Like ever.