Hank patted his chest and sides. He stopped suddenly and lifted an eyebrow.
“Oh!” I said, realizing what he was looking for. I retrieved the cigarette case from his inside pocket and handed it to him. He flipped it open and held it out in offering. I shook my head. He took a cigarette for himself and snapped the case shut.
“So, how about it then?” he said, his eyes glistening playfully. “Shall we go get us a monster?”
“Sure,” I said, waving my hand. “We’ll hop on the next liner.” It was what I always said when the topic came up, which was often, and always after boatloads of booze. It was our little game.
“I think getting away would do Ellis good. He seems depressed.”
“Ellis isn’t depressed,” I said. “You just want to escape Violet’s clutches.”
“I do not,” he protested.
“You didn’t even notice when she left tonight!”
Hank cocked his head and nodded, conceding the point. “I suppose I should send flowers.”
“First thing in the morning,” I said.
He nodded. “Absolutely. At the crack of noon. Scout’s honor.”
“And I think you should marry her. You need civilizing, and I need a female friend. I have only you and Ellis.”
He clutched a hand to his heart, mortally wounded. “What are we, chopped liver?”
“Only the finest foie gras. Seriously, though. How long are you going to make her wait?”
“I’m not sure. I don’t know if I’m ready to be civilized yet. But when I am, Violet can have the honors. She can pick a mean set of china.”
As I set my drink down, I caught another glimpse of my dress and shoes. “I think maybe I need civilizing. Will you just marry her already?”
“What is this, an ambush?” He tapped the cigarette against the top of the case and put it between his lips. A servant appeared from nowhere to light it.
“Mm, thanks,” Hank said, inhaling. He leaned back and let smoke drift from his mouth to his nose in a swirling white ribbon that he re-inhaled. He called this maneuver the “Irish Waterfall.”
“If I do marry her, Ellis and I won’t have a hope, because you girls will gang up on us.”
“We won’t be able to,” I said. “The distribution will be equal.”
“They’re never equal between the sexes. You already gang up on Ellis and me all by yourself.”
“I do not!”
“You’re ganging up on me right now, at this very minute, single-handedly baiting the marriage trap. I tell you, it’s the ultimate female conspiracy. You’re all in on it. Personally, I can’t see what all the fuss is about.”
Ellis returned, followed by a waiter who set steaming crystal glasses with handles on the table in front of us. Ellis flopped into a chair.
Hank set his cigarette in an ashtray and picked up his toddy. He blew steam from the surface and took a cautious sip. “So, Ellis, our darling girl here was just saying we should go on a trip,” he said. “Find us a plesiosaur.”
“Sure she was,” said Ellis.
“She was. She has it all planned out,” said Hank. “Tell him, Maddie.”
“You’re drunk,” I said, laughing.
“That is true, I will admit,” said Hank, “but I still think we should do it.” He ground the cigarette out so hard its snuffed end splayed like a spent bullet. “We’ve been talking about it for years. Let’s do it. I’m serious.”
“No you’re not,” I said.
Hank once again clasped his heart. “What’s happened to you, Maddie? Don’t tell me you’ve lost your sense of adventure. Has Violet been civilizing you in secret?”
“No, of course not. You haven’t given her the chance. But we can’t go now. Liners haven’t run since the Athenia went down.”
I realized I’d made it sound like it had spontaneously sprung a leak, when in reality it had been torpedoed by a German U-boat with 1,100 civilians on board.
“Where there’s a will, there’s a way,” said Hank, nodding sagely. He sipped the toddy again, then peered into it accusingly. “Hmmmm. Think I prefer whiskey after all. Back in a minute. Ellis, talk to your wife. Clearly she’s picking up bad habits.”
He launched himself from his chair, and for a moment looked like he might topple over. He clutched the back of Ellis’s chair while he regained his balance and finally wafted off, drifting like a butterfly.
Ellis and I sat in relative silence, within a bubble created by the chatter and laughter of other people.
He slid slowly down in his chair until it must have looked empty from behind. His eyes were glassy, and he’d turned a bit gray.
My own ears buzzed from the champagne. I lifted both hands to investigate my hair, and discovered the curls on one side had come undone and were clinging to my neck. Reaching further around, I realized that the diamond hair comb given to me by my mother-in-law was missing. I felt a stab of panic. It had been a gift on our wedding day, a rare moment of compassion shown me by a woman who had made no secret of not wanting me to marry her son, but was nonetheless moved to give it to me seconds before Hank walked me down the aisle.
“I think we should do it,” Ellis said.
“Sure,” I said gaily. “We’ll just hop on the next—”
“I mean it,” he said sharply.
I looked up, startled by his tone. He was grinding his jaw. I wasn’t sure exactly when it had happened, but his mood had shifted. We were no longer playing a game.
He looked at me in irritation. “What? Why shouldn’t we?”
“Because of the war,” I said gently.
“Carpe diem, and all that crap. The war is part of the adventure. God knows I’m not getting near it any other way. Neither is Hank, for that matter.” He raked a hand through his hair, leaving a swath of it standing on end. He leaned in closer and narrowed his eyes. “You do know what they call us, don’t you?” he said. “ ‘FFers.’ ”
He and Hank were the only 4Fers in the room. I wondered if someone had slighted him when he’d gone to find drinks.
Hank took his flat-footedness in stride, as he did most things, but being given 4F status had devastated Ellis. His color blindness had gone undetected until he tried to enlist and was rejected. He’d tried a second time at a different location and was turned down again. Although it was clearly not his fault, he was right that people judged, and I knew how this chipped at him. It was relentless and unspoken, so he couldn’t even defend himself. His own father, a veteran of the Great War, had treated him with undisguised revulsion since hearing the news. This injustice was made all the more painful because we lived with my in-laws, who had perversely removed any chance at escape. Two days after the attack on Pearl Harbor, they cut Ellis’s allowance by two thirds. My mother-in-law broke it to us in the drawing room before dinner, announcing with smug satisfaction that she was sure we’d be pleased to know that until “this terrible business was over” the money would be going toward war bonds. Strictly speaking, that may have been where the money was going, but it was perfectly clear that the real motive was punishing Ellis. His mother was exacting revenge because he’d dared to marry me, and his father—well, we weren’t exactly sure. Either he didn’t believe that Ellis was color-blind, or he couldn’t forgive him for it. The nightmarish result was that we were forced to live under the constant scrutiny of people we’d come to think of as our captors.
“You know how hard it is,” he went on, “with everyone staring at me, wondering why I’m not serving.”
“They don’t stare—”
“Don’t patronize me! You know perfectly well they do!”
His outburst caused everyone to turn and look.
Ellis waved an angry hand at them. “See?”
He glanced fiercely around. To a person, they turned away, their scandalized expressions trained elsewhere. Conversations resumed, but in dampened tones.
Ellis locked eyes with me. “I know I look perfectly healthy,” he continued, his voice under taut control. “My own father thinks I’m a coward, for Christ’s sake. I need to prove myself. To him, to them, to me. Of all people, I thought you’d understand.”
“Darling, I do understand,” I said.
“But do you?” he asked, his mouth stretching into a bitter smile.
“Of course,” I said, and I did, although at that moment I would have said anything to calm him down. He’d been drinking hard liquor since early afternoon, and I knew things could degenerate quickly. The carefully averted faces of those around us already portended a very unpleasant beginning to the new year.
My mother-in-law, who had missed the party because of a migraine, would surely start receiving reports of our behavior by noon. I could only imagine how she’d react when she found out I’d lost the hair comb. I resolved to telephone the next day and throw myself on Mrs. Pew’s mercy. If the comb had come out in the snow, it was probably gone forever, but if it had fallen down the back of a sofa, it might turn up.
Ellis watched me closely, the fire dancing in his eyes. After a few seconds, his angry mask melted into an expression of sad relief. He leaned sideways to pat my knee and almost fell out of his chair.
“That’s my girl,” he said, struggling upright. “Always up for adventure. You’re not like the other girls, you know. There’s not an ounce of fun in them. That’s why Hank won’t marry Violet, of course. He’s holding out for another you. Only there isn’t one. I’ve got the one and only.”
“Who the whatty-what now?” said Hank, appearing from nowhere and crashing back into his chair. “Over here!” he barked, snapping his fingers above his head. A waiter set more drinks on the table in front of us. Hank turned back to Ellis. “Is she trying to marry me off again? I swear there’s an echo in here.”
“No. She’s agreed. We’re going to Scotland.”
Hank’s eyes popped open. “Really?” He looked at me for confirmation.
I didn’t think I’d agreed, per se, at least not after I realized we weren’t just joking, but since I’d managed to defuse the bomb and perhaps even save the evening, I decided to play along.
“Sure,” I said, gesturing grandly. “Why not?”