“I said role play, not hurting her.”
Oh, this is a great conversation now. “You should give him some pointers. We don’t want Delia to be disappointed. Maybe you and Mrs. Garner can stop by and just let him know about the finer points of marriage since he had horrible examples to show him the way.”
Her eyes light up. “That’s a great idea. I’ll talk to Kristy and we’ll pop over when we see Delia’s at work.”
Josh shakes his head. “Mrs. Villafane, I couldn’t take up your precious time like that, not unless I was sure that several people would benefit from your wisdom. Since Oliver here”—he slaps my back—“is a newlywed, I’m sure he needs a lot of help, not just with the sex, which we know he’s clearly an amateur at since he pulled a muscle having it.”
“I’m here because I did it right,” I inform him.
“Whatever you need to tell yourself, asshole.”
Mrs. Villafane taps her hand on Josh’s forearm. “I’ll make a cake and stop by this week.”
“Oliver Parkerson.” A nurse raises her hand as she calls out my name.
I get up, extremely happy to be leaving this conversation, and wink at my brother. “You enjoy the rest of your chat.”
“Enjoy your walk home,” he mutters.
I hobble toward the nurse. The swelling in my leg makes it hard to stay upright, but I manage it.
When I get to the back room, I change into a gown that offers very little privacy, and wait for the doctor. I’ve been coming to Dr. Pang since I was a kid, so it’s not like she hasn’t seen it all, but still, it’s a bit drafty.
My phone dings with a text, and I grab it.
Maren: I just landed, heading to the rental car place now. Are you sure you’re fine with coming tomorrow?
Me: Yes. I’ll be there tomorrow morning. I’m going to drive so we don’t have to worry about delays. I’m at the doctor now.
Maren is none too happy that I can barely walk. I’m not the first man to get a pulled muscle, but she has enough on her plate and doesn’t need me fighting her on it.
Maren: Good. Let me know how it goes and light a candle for me—and Linda.
Me: Not sure my light source is what God is looking for, but I’ll find someone with a better connection to the big guy.
Maren: Or girl.
Me: You know, it wouldn’t surprise me considering what you women are capable of.
Maren: Don’t forget it and let me know what the doctor says.
Me: Doctor is going to say something along the lines of, “I hope it was at least good.” To which I will say, “It fucking was.”
Maren: You need Jesus. Light a candle for yourself too. Also, I talked to Mark.
Now that is some information I was hoping to hear.
Me: And?
Maren: They filed it. So, we are, in fact, legally married.
I shouldn’t be smiling. I shouldn’t be happy that she’s my actual wife, but I am. Maren just makes me fucking happy. While I should be angry, upset, and whatever else, I can’t muster it right now. Even if I were mad, Maren is dealing with a lot of shit right now and doesn’t need me piling on. So, in a few weeks, we can get this all figured out.
Me: All right. When things settle down, I’m sure you’ll share your plan.
Maren: I will. I’ll see you soon?
Me: Yes, sweetheart. Very soon.
Maren: Thank God.
Me: You are free to call me that anytime.
I imagine her rolling her eyes.
Maren: You’re a mess. Call me later, I’m here now.
I laugh and tuck my phone away when the doctor knocks.
“Hello, Oliver.”
“Dr. Pang. It’s been a while.”
She nods. “Yes, it has. How are you? Happy to be back home?”
“Happy is . . . well, I don’t know. We’ve been busy.”
“And you got married.” Her eyes brighten as she walks over. “That’s wonderful. Congratulations. The town is very excited. I was in Jennie’s yesterday, and they were talking about how beautiful she is and wondering what’s wrong with her because she fell in love with you.”
“There’s nothing wrong with her. I am a freaking catch. A big catch,” I say.
Dr. Pang’s smile widens. “Well, you’re lucky to have her and I’m so happy that you found love.”
Most people are in love with the person they marry, and by all accounts of this town, we are madly in love, so I give her my most convincing grin. “She’s perfect.”
“Good. I always hoped you’d find someone worthy. Your siblings have all done well, and it gives me so much joy to see you have as well. Now, what brings you in?”
Is there a delicate way to broach this topic? I decide there isn’t and just blurt it out. “I pulled my groin having too much sex on my honeymoon.”
“Oh.”
I shrug. “We did it . . . a lot. And I mean . . . a lot. I have this bulge here, and I can’t walk because I’m swollen a bit.”
Dr. Pang hides her face a little and then straightens. “Okay. Let’s take a look and see.”
I cover my dick with my hand as much as I can and pull the gown over, exposing the enlarged muscle.
“I need you to lie back so I can get a better look.” I do as she says. “I’m going to press on this area. Let me know when you feel pain.”
We go through the exam, and she keeps moving me around and studying the area. After she’s done, I sit up, and she takes a seat on the rolling chair. “Oliver, where you are experiencing the swelling isn’t your muscle, it’s much higher, you are experiencing an enlargement of the lymph node. When it’s inflamed the way yours is, it usually means you’re dealing with an infection. Have you had any fevers or fatigue?”
“Not that I can think of. I’m tired, but I just finished opening the resort, got married, honeymooned, and haven’t gotten a lot of sleep recently.”
She nods. “That all makes sense. What about drinking?”
“Are you asking me out, Doc?” I joke.
Dr. Pang doesn’t seem amused. “When you drink, do you feel anything after?”
“Drunk . . .”
She rolls her eyes. “Yes, well that’s fine, but sickness or pain?”
I start to say something sarcastic, but then tell Dr. Pang about how I got sick after a few beers while I was in South Carolina. She makes a note of that and then turns to face me again.
“Okay, I’d like to do a blood test to see what shows. I’m not overly concerned, but if we can find an infection, then we can treat it.”
“That doesn’t make me sound nearly as virile as pulling a muscle during sex.”
She laughs. “You can keep your story, but I think it’s important to run the test.”
“I have to drive to Georgia tomorrow. Maren’s father isn’t well, and I need to be there.”
“Not a problem. We’ll start you on an antibiotic and do the blood work here. Since you’re going out of town, I’d like to do a biopsy as well. Sometimes the blood tests aren’t as definitive as I’d like, so I’d feel better if we covered all the bases just in case. Once we figure out what’s causing the lymph node to be inflamed, we can treat it. Sound good?”
“Absolutely.”
She stands and heads to the door. There’s one thing I meant to ask, and it’s really the most important question.
“Hey, Dr. Pang?”
“Yes?”