Danny’s shoulders slumped. “Why can’t you just be happy for me?”
“Why can’t you stop hiding shit from me?” I shot back.
My little brother, who was not so little anymore, stood up straighter, looked me dead in the eyes, and said, “Because I knew you’d make it about you. But guess what, Kate, this is my life. You made your choices and now I’m making mine.”
With that, Danny started to gather his things from the table. I watched him in stunned silence. I didn’t trust myself to respond yet because his words had hit too close to home.
“I’m going to go study.” He picked up the flashcards he’d been reviewing earlier and froze. He held up the top card and waved it at me accusingly. It said Boyle’s Law. “You cheated.”
I tipped my head and shot him an ironic look. “Ditto.”
* * *
An hour later, I sat on the back patio, staring at an empty beer bottle. I stared at it in the hopes that it would spontaneously refill itself, since I didn’t trust myself to go back in the house and risk running into Danny or Baba.
So I sat and I stared, and I tried like hell not to think about how I’d brought this school thing on myself.
“Pizza’s here! The delivery guy pulled up at the same time I did.”
Pen held a large pizza box in one hand and the remaining five-pack of beer in the other. When she saw the look on my face, she paused on the back step with her foot hovering in midair. She wore the same black yoga pants I’d seen her in the last three times we’d been together, but the yellow T-shirt made her brown skin glow. “Uh-oh. Should I leave?”
“I’ll never speak to you again if you do. Bring that beer over here.”
She continued to the patio table and set down her goodies. She opened a beer and passed it to me.
“I love you,” I said.
“I love you, too, but you look like you’re ready to commit a murder.”
“Multiple murders. Many, many murders.” I took a long swig.
“I assume that Baba is one of your intended victims.”
“How did you know?”
“When she let me into the kitchen, she was waving a lit sage bundle around. When I asked her why, she muttered something about the house needing a spiritual cleansing to get rid of bad karma.”
I pursed my lips. “I’ll show her karma.”
Pen dropped into the chair across from me and nudged my foot with her own. “Spill it.”
I finally looked up and really saw my friend for the first time since she’d arrived. Guilt slammed into me hard as I realized I hadn’t even said hello to her. It had been a few weeks since we’d spent any real time together, and she had walked in to another Prospero drama show.
“You know what?” I said. “Let’s not. Tonight’s about you. How’s the job hunt?”
She winced. “Honestly, I was hoping to talk about something other than my problems tonight.”
“Well, I’m not ready to talk about what they did to piss me off yet,” I said. “Pick something else.”
“All right,” she said, “how’s the hunk?”
I laughed. “Smooth transition.”
She winked at me. “Tell me everything.”
I flipped open the pizza box and handed her a piece before taking one of my own. I was totally putting off spilling the beans on Morales, but I also knew it was a futile gesture. Pen would sit there until I told her every juicy detail.
“There’s not much to tell,” I hedged.
“Girl, please. Do you really expect me to believe that boy isn’t worth gossiping about?”
It was hard to argue with that. Morales was basically an action figure come to life. I literally had not had a boring moment with him since I met him—either in or out of the bedroom.
“I mean, it’s fun, yeah. Really fun. But we’re keeping it casual, you know?” I shrugged and took a bite of pizza.
“Does he know that?”
I plucked a pepperoni from the top of the pie and ate it before answering. “Of course.”
She didn’t look convinced. “Last time I saw you two together he didn’t look at you like a man with casual things on his mind. That was weeks ago, Kate.”
“You’re imagining things.”
She ate some pizza, but I could tell she wasn’t done. Chewing was just an excuse to regroup her thoughts in order to launch another attack.
“Well, I’m glad you’re finally getting some on the regular.”
“Thanks, I think,” I said. “Maybe you need a fuck buddy, too. Get your mind off your work situation.”
“I’ve been wearing the same pants for five days. I’m not exactly prime fuck-buddy material.”
“Ah, sweetie, don’t sell yourself short. If I were a guy, I’d totally do you.”
“Thanks.” She snorted. “Anyway, I’ve never been into flings. I have this annoying habit of developing lasting attachments to men who give me orgasms.”
“You can be fond without forming expectations,” I said. “I mean, Morales is my partner. In my line of work, you end up forming this intimacy with the people you work with, like family. I would have taken a bullet for the guy before he started giving me orgasms, you know?”
She shot me an odd look. “Yes, I know.”
“But that doesn’t mean that I’m ready to commit myself to him.”
She shook her head but swallowed whatever she’d been about to say with a mouthful of beer.
“What?” I didn’t really want to hear it, but I was enough of a masochist to be curious.
“Oh, nothing. It’s just funny that you’re willing to die for the guy, but you’re not willing to call yourself his girlfriend.”
“It’s not the same, Pen. You wouldn’t understand.”
I’d finished my second beer. I wanted a third. I really, really wanted a third, but I also needed to keep my wits about me. Pen had entered the phase of the night where she tried to fix me, and if I gave her enough of an opening, she’d make me face some things I didn’t want to deal with yet.
She pointed her bottle at me. “I understand more than you think, but I also know that there’s no talking to you about this stuff. When you’re ready, you’ll either get over yourself and accept that you care more for that boy than you want to admit, or you’ll create a total shit show.”
“Hey! That’s not fair. I haven’t created a shit show in months.”
She nodded her head toward the house. “You got one brewing in there, right?”
“That one’s not my fault. Danny applied to a new school without telling me. Volos told him about it, and Baba and Mez helped him apply.”
Pen, who’d been the counselor at Danny’s old school, perked up. “Which school?”
“Some new magnet for Adept kids.”
“The Conservatory?” she said. “That place would be sort of awesome for him, Kate.”
“You’re missing the point. They all lied to me, and now I only have a couple of days to learn everything about this place before his acceptance letter needs a response.”
“He got in?” She practically squealed it.
I paused. “Yeah, why?”
“That place is really hard to qualify for. From what I’ve heard, it’s basically for the best of the best Adept kids.”
“Apparently Mez spoke to the principal on Danny’s behalf.” I clenched my jaw as a new wave of anger washed through me.
“I know you’re pissed about them lying, but this is a huge opportunity for him.”
“Sure, if I want him to become a wiz for some huge clean magic company.”
“Why wouldn’t you want that for him?”
I stilled, thinking it over. The wizards who created potions for the legal clean magic market could make a very good living. If Danny landed a job at a place like Sortilege Inc., creating new laundry potions and age-defying magic for cosmetics for the average American household, he’d be set.
But that kind of security came at a cost.
“What if he decides he wants to do something else with his life? This is basically forcing him into that track. If he stayed in the Mundane high school, he’d be able to go into any field he wanted. But this Conservatory seems like it would lead him straight to the labs.”