I swallowed and looked away in shame. “I don’t really know how to control certain things—where you’re concerned.”
“Wouldn’t have guessed that,” he said dryly, his eyes narrowing in on me with the precision of a sharp knife.
“What?” I licked my lips nervously and stared ahead out the window.
“Nothing, it’s just I’m trying to decide if that’s a compliment or not.”
I stole another glance at him. How was he so calm? And why didn’t he lose all of his good looks the minute he turned human? How was that fair? His blue eyes were electric in the night sky. His skin still so smooth and flawless that I wanted to reach out and touch it.
Thank God he couldn’t still read my thoughts.
“Don’t look at me like that if you don’t plan on following through,” he snapped, his white teeth flashing against the blanket of darkness in the car.
“Fine.” I put the car back in drive. “So, I just have to keep myself from losing control emotionally—for the next what? Ten miles?”
He sighed. “Yes.”
“And then once we’re safely within the walls of Ethan’s little compound?”
Cassius shook his head, an amused grin spread across his face. “Well then, I’ll allow you to try to kill me if that’s what you really wish.”
“I don’t want you dead.”
“Things would be easier if I were,” he whispered.
“Since when have you ever taken the easy way out?”
He broke eye contact and looked down. I’d never seen Cassius do that in all the time I’d known him. His confidence never wavered.
Yet as a human I could see chinks in his armor as if he was falling apart before my very eyes.
“Hey.” I grabbed his arm, and immediately I regretted it as tiny ice crystals formed around my fingertips and imprinted themselves against his smooth skin.
He hissed and pulled back. “Huh, never thought I’d be on the receiving end of that.”
“What?” I clenched my hand into a tiny fist, flexing my fingers.
Cassius caressed the spot on his arm that I’d just touched or marked was more like it. You could still see the indentation where my hand had just been. “Pity… and…” He let out a long exhale like it was getting harder to breathe. “It’s not easy to combat, is it?”
“What? Pity?” Was he losing it? Was being a human finally taking a toll on his once immortal brain? Was that part of his punishment from Sariel?
“The pull… the flavor…” He licked his lips as if he could taste me. “The promise of a Dark One’s touch.”
“But I just touched you. I didn’t…”
“You tried to mark me.” He exhaled again and rubbed his arm vigorously. “We should go, before you kill me.”
“I would never—”
“Just drive the car, get me to Ethan’s in one piece, and then I promise we’ll talk more.”
“No more running away?”
“Where could I possibly go where you wouldn’t find me?”
I wasn’t sure if that was a compliment or just a jab at my stalker tendencies considering he knew how I felt about him, so I left it alone and pulled back onto the freeway.
The car ride was as silent as death the entire way to Ethan’s.
And I couldn’t help but wonder if Cassius being turned human, was the final nail in the coffin.
Hope died in my chest as I realized—I would never be his equal even as a Dark One. He would always be on step ahead of me. He would always be—Cassius. And I? I would always be the little girl he saved.
Never the woman he loved.
Cassius
MY BODY WAS HOT and cold all at once. It was an odd feeling, like my face was burning up, but the rest of my body had a chill. Maybe I was dying. Hah, wouldn’t that be part of Sariel’s cruel trick? Give me thirty days but kill me before I can even attempt to do anything.
I was doing a hell of a job—of pushing her away, that was.
Every single time I opened my mouth it was like I lost complete control over what I should say and just blurted out things that I knew caused pain. My thoughts were jumbled—when I’d been immortal I was able to compartmentalize, to attack each problem, find a solution, and then deal with the next. Being overwhelmed was never an issue because it never occurred.
But in that car, driving toward Ethan’s, I was so overcome with—life that it was hard to breathe, hard to keep my thoughts straight. It didn’t help that I was ninety-nine percent sure I had internal bleeding and would have trouble getting out of bed in the morning.
I wanted to claim her.
Yet I worried she’d resent me.
I wanted to help her.
And at the same time a part of me was fearful of what she was capable of, even as I was fully aware of how weak I was.