This was dangerous. Scarlett knew from the tingle in her stomach that she was tempting herself, being there with Raith. The pain she felt lingered in her bones. The memory of her mother’s lifeless eyes. The coldness of her hand when Scarlett finally let go when the paramedics arrived. Everything she’d come here to escape had been hurled at her at once. Running from it lasted for a while, but that luxury had vanished. She could feel grief coming from Raith, too. Was it just the bond that let her into his head or was it part of her fae ancestry? She’d felt the emotion of the servant girl, and at times she thought she might have even known what Cade was feeling.
“You told me you can take my pain away better than Cade could,” Scarlett said.
“I did.”
“By taking my memories?”
“Yes.”
Scarlett leaned into Raith. He could make the anguish inside her stop. Scarlett's heart raced. He could take her memories. How could something hurt her if she didn’t remember it? “Away forever?”
Raith nodded. “If you want them gone forever.”
Is that what Scarlett wanted? She thought about her mother’s gentle touch. Her laugh. The way her eyes squinted together when she smiled. The happy memories hurt as much as the bad ones, reminding Scarlett of what she’d never have again. Most of all, a part of her now wondered if her mother hadn’t been crazy. What if Scarlett had believed her?
“Do it.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
“Let’s go somewhere else. To my tree house. No one will bother us there,” Raith said.
Scarlett followed him. Raith had come to the gardens to clear his own head. His father’s memories played on repeat in his head ever since he saw them. He’d had his mother for less than five years of his life, but even in that short amount of time, he learned what love was. His own memories of her were blurry. But his father’s memories—they were as clear as glass.
When they entered his tree house, he lit the fire with his magic.
“Are you sure about this?” he asked Scarlett.
Her face was pale, her eyes wide. “I need to be focused. It’s our only chance. And thinking of her hurts too much right now.”
Raith moved his hands to Scarlett's face. His thumbs brushed her temples. He’d only taken away memories a few times. It always felt wrong, a violation. No one had ever asked him to do it.
She looked at him with hopeful blue eyes. With a deep breath, he peered into her mind.
A woman with a long auburn braid appeared. She pushed a young Scarlett on a swing at playground. What a silly thing humans did, but both the woman and Scarlett looked happy. He could feel Scarlett's happiness in the memory. The safety she felt. The feeling of being loved.
He couldn’t do it.
It would be so easy to erase Scarlett's memories. It would fuel him up for the upcoming battle. Probably even piss Cade off more. But he thought of the few memories he had of his own mother and the joy Scarlett felt with hers. He couldn’t take that from her.
What a great time for him to get sentimental.
“I can’t,” he said.
He felt relief shoot from her. But he also felt her pain. She’d lost her favorite person in the whole world, just as he did. And while hers was fresher than his, he’d pent up all his feelings for so long, he felt like he might burst.
Scarlett reached up on her tiptoes and kissed Raith’s mouth. The kiss sent fire through his veins. He reached around her and pulled her body into his as their mouths moved together. Her tongue grazed his as his hands moved to her hair. Neither spoke as their bodies moved together as if this were as natural as breathing. Their pain disappeared, bulldozed by passion.
He lifted Scarlett and dropped her on his bed. Hastily, she unbuttoned his pants. Raith pushed all thoughts out as he let his fervor control him. He’d never made love to a human before—then again, Scarlett wasn’t fully human. He pulled her nightgown over her head. If this was a bad idea, he’d worry about it tomorrow. Everything felt too right to stop now.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Scarlett’s breath fluttered as Raith’s hands explored her naked body. She gasped when they teasingly grazed the lowest part of her stomach.
Raith paused. Uncertainty flickered from him through the bond. Desire swam through Scarlett. Raith continued to roam Scarlett’s flesh with his fingertips.
When Raith stopped, lust flooded Scarlett. Her eyes met his and he grinned deviously. He pushed himself on top of her and leaned his face toward her.
Scarlett had waited this long to make love to someone—turned down guy after guy she’d dated. It was never to protect her virginity as some sacred piece of her. But it had always felt wrong when things would go too far. She’d always found the will to stop.
Not now.
Raith’s mouth crashed into hers. There was no uncertainty from the bond now. Passion exploded from both of them. Scarlett’s hands travelled across Raith’s chest, down the curves of his abs, then lower. He moaned.
Doubt vanished from Scarlett’s mind. Only this moment mattered. Her fervor consumed her as her body took control. Scarlett and Raith became yearning incarnate.
Tangled skin to skin, they fell asleep together, and, for now, that moment was all that mattered.
Scarlett awoke, her naked body twined with Raith’s. Last night had been a frenzy. Pain turned to lust, and all of Scarlett’s worries had vanished in the moment.
Something about it had been pure.
But now Scarlett didn’t know how to feel. She needed to get back to her room before Cade noticed she was missing. For all she knew, he was done with her. Her emotion was of no use to him now. But she wasn’t sure and the last thing she needed was for things to get more complicated.
As passionate as last night had been, it complicated things. So much. But she could worry about that later, when she was back in her room.
Raith slept next to her, messy hair and closed eyes. He wore a peaceful expression. Scarlett had felt an assortment of emotions from the bond, but never the lull that filled it now. It almost felt criminal to disturb him. But she didn’t want Cade looking for her and, heaven forbid, finding her with Raith.
She shook Raith’s arm to stir him awake. When his eyes opened, contentment pulsed from the bond.
“I need to get back to my room…unnoticed,” Scarlett said.
They both got dressed in silence. Scarlett wondered what thoughts crossed Raith’s mind. She was the one who kissed him first. God, what was she thinking? That was the problem—she wasn’t. When he wouldn’t take her memories, both terror and relief bombarded her. She didn’t want to forget her mother, but she didn’t want to feel everything anymore. Instead of worrying about her conflicting emotions, Scarlett acted out of instinct.
“I can get you in through the back door. I’d evanesce you in, but my brother could be waiting for you in your room.” Raith said as they walked around the castle grounds.
The sun was just rising, the sky still pale. Sunrise promised a new beginning. Scarlett inhaled the freshness of the new day.
“I thought it was an exit only door?” she asked.
“It is, unless you’re royalty. Then the door will open.”
“Oh.”
When they arrived at the door, they stood awkwardly, gazes locked.
What should Scarlett say? She didn’t regret their night together—but she had no idea what it meant. A one night stand in the moment? Somehow, it felt bigger than that. Yet, neither of them knew what would happen during the battle. Preparing for it needed to be the focus—not whatever was or wasn’t between them.
“I’ll see you at training later,” Raith said.
“See you then.” Scarlett hurried inside before either could say anything else.
When she was back in her room, she fell back on her bed, sinking into the mattress. Had she actually asked Raith to take her memories? What had gotten into her? Those memories were all she had left of her mom. Without them, who would she be?
Her mother didn't raise her to be so fragile. Her mom taught her to be strong. To fight when life had you down—until she killed herself, that was. But that was the sickness, not her mom. And here Scarlett was, trapped in the fae world because she was too scared to face it all. If Raith had done as she asked, Scarlett would have lost her mother forever.
Scarlett closed her eyes and released her fear. When she opened them, a new determination swam through her. She would fight until the end.
A knock at the door startled her.