When most people think of Cape Cod, they think of beaches and boardwalks, sand and sun, families and friends eating ice cream and playing volleyball. And for four or five months every year, that’s exactly what it is. Tourists fill the towns and hotels and restaurants and beaches, the sun shines and waves crash, and we have a reason for existing.
But it’s not like that at all in the middle of January. The hotels and rentals empty out. It’s cold. The beach isn’t a beach, it’s just the edge of the land, and the ocean’s always there, hemming us in. Cape Cod’s an island, you know. Two bridges let us on and off, but for the most part we’re trapped, shut up in a narrowing strip of land that no one should’ve found, let alone settled. Windy, plain, brown and yellow and gray, the sky matching the ground.
In the gloom and early dark of January, Diana and Ari and I were celebrating. I’d stolen a bottle of Grey Goose from my sister Mina’s secret stash, and we toasted each other and shivered in the wind. The road was covered in half-melted snow and dead leaves. We slipped and slid over them in our sneakers, laughing and holding each other up.
“To New York!” Diana said to Ari.
“To horse camp!” Ari shouted back, even though they were standing right next to each other.
“To summer!” Diana’s voice rose to match Ari’s.
“To freedom!”
“Yay!” I said. I couldn’t think of anything to toast to, but if I didn’t say anything, I wouldn’t be a part of the celebration.
And, actually, I wasn’t technically celebrating anything of my own. But I was happy to be out with Diana and Ari, and happy for them. They were leaving right after school ended for their dream summers. Their happiness should have been enough for me to celebrate after the past few years.
“You’ll be the queen of those stuck-up horse chicks,” Ari said. “Maybe find a nice stable boy to seduce.”
Diana blushed and covered her eyes with her hand. “More like, I’ll spend a lot of time with my horse and halfway through the summer discover that none of the humans know my name.”
“Their loss.”
Diana pointed the bottle at Ari. “You’re the one who’s going to be the queen, anyway. Take those other girls out.”
“Ballet assassin. That’s me.” She grabbed the bottle from Diana, planted her foot, and spun in a circle, ending balanced on the planted foot, the other shooting straight up behind her like a bow string. She took a drink and didn’t wobble once.
“What if I dyed my hair?” Diana held out a strand of her thick, long hair and squinted in the low light. “Something bright.”
I started to agree, but Ari interrupted me.
“Oh, don’t,” Ari said. She lowered her foot and passed me the bottle. “You’re perfect the way you are.”
“I guess,” Diana said, and let go of her hair.
“Where’s Win?” I asked. Ari spent most of her weekend nights with her boyfriend, Win Tillman, which was why Diana had started calling me back in September.
“He’s home sick. Markos is having a party but I wanted to celebrate.”
“We couldn’t celebrate with Markos?” Diana said, attempting to sound casual.
“But it’s more fun just us.”
Diana didn’t argue. She had a crush on Markos Waters, Win’s best friend, but Ari always said he wasn’t boyfriend material. Ari hung out with him and Win all the time when she wasn’t with us, so I guess she would know.
I felt a pause descending. A dreaded pause, where someone might say “It’s time to go home,” or “I’ve had enough to drink.” I didn’t want the night to be over. I’d only been friends with Diana and Ari for four months, since Diana and I sat together in English and started hanging out on nights when Ari was with Win. Ari and Diana had been inseparable for years, whispering in class and peeling out of the parking lot in each other’s cars, and I’d wondered what it would be like to be a part of a friendship like that. Someone you chose, instead of being born with, like me and my sister Mina.
I’d made friends with Diana first, but soon I was invited out with Ari, too, and we became a threesome. Four months of friendship. Six months since my beauty spell, which gave me the confidence to start talking to Diana in the first place. And two years since Mina got better and left me behind. I could remember each of the important dates exactly.
I didn’t want the night to end, so I rushed to fill the silence.
“Look, the hekamist’s house,” I said, pointing down the road.
Diana and Ari turned to look at the house. It seemed normal from the outside, if a bit run-down. Back when we were in elementary school someone made up a story that there was a force field around the house that would zap you or curse you if you got too close; only years later did anyone stop to think that wasn’t how hekame worked at all. You had to eat something to be spelled. So they changed the dare to eating the hekamist’s grass from the front lawn. When I’d gone there to get my beauty spell six months ago, I could still see bald patches of the lawn, as if new generations of kids were still daring each other to get close.
“What’s it like inside?” Diana asked.