Tales from the Hood

Bluebeard looked frantic. “No, sir!”

 

 

Judge Hatter, however, had some of his own. “You say the creature who murdered your grandmother saved your life?”

 

Red nodded. “My grandmother was trying to heal me. I’ve struggled with my sanity since I was a baby. She was a witch, and she had a plan, but it blew up around her. The result was she created the Big Bad Wolf, and that poor man, the one they call Mr. Canis, was the real victim. He was in the wrong place at the wrong time. He didn’t mean to kill my grandmother but he couldn’t stop himself. Lucky for me, he got control over himself for a brief moment and begged me to run.”

 

“You say you’ve dealt with your sanity for a long time,” Hatter said. “I know crazy and you seem perfectly fine to me.”

 

Red scanned the crowd and found Sabrina and her family. She smiled. “I’m feeling much better.”

 

“Objection!” Bluebeard cried. “We are finished with this witness.”

 

Judge Hatter snarled at Bluebeard. “I say when a witness is ready to go.”

 

“It’s true that the Wolf killed my grandma, but I don’t think he could control himself. He was out of his mind. I know how that feels. I’ve done terrible things. I know it. The Wolf is dangerous but he does not deserve to die.”

 

“Objection!” Mayor Heart roared from her seat.

 

“Your honor. We rest our case,” Bluebeard said, frantically. “We’d like the jury to make its decision.”

 

Hatter shrugged. “Fine with me. We’ll take a one-hour break to allow the jury to decide.”

 

“So we don’t get to question this witness, either?” Robin Hood shouted.

 

“Objection!” Hatter shouted.

 

“I beg your pardon,” said the bewildered lawyer.

 

“I object,” the judge replied.

 

“You’re the judge. You don’t get to object,” Robin cried.

 

“Well I object to not being allowed to object. I find it . . . objectionable,” Hatter replied. “The court finds the Wolf not guilty!” he slammed his head with the gavel and then prepared to leave.

 

“Your honor!” Bluebeard cried. “The jury has to vote on whether the Wolf is guilty. You can’t do that yourself.”

 

“Oh, another of your silly rules,” the judge said. “Very well, I declare a recess. One hour.”

 

Judge Hatter got off his chair and raced through the aisle toward the double doors. Sabrina watched him pass, marveling at the fact that his neck could support his monstrous head and nose. As soon as he left, the crowd surged out behind him.

 

 

 

 

 

The family congregated at Briar Rose’s coffee shop. Briar took a break and sat with them, but not before she brought everyone fresh muffins and steaming cups of coffee. Sabrina, Puck, and Daphne were treated to chocolate milk with whipped cream on top. The princess sat next to Uncle Jake and kissed him on the cheek. Sabrina watched Briar’s fairy godmothers stew with anger.

 

“They’re going to turn me into a frog,” Uncle Jake said, grinning.

 

“Well, I won’t be the first princess in this town to date an amphibian,” Briar said.

 

“What do you think Canis’s chances are?” Uncle Jake asked Granny.

 

The old woman sipped her coffee. “Who can say? The Judge is pretty unpredictable.”

 

“The judge is a certifiable nutbag,” Puck said.

 

Granny nodded. “But he doesn’t seem to be in Mayor Heart’s pocket, either. I think they thought that having an insane person as the judge might sway things in their favor. I don’t think it’s turning out that way. He’s proving to be unpredictable for us all.”

 

“Maybe too unpredictable,” Sabrina said.

 

“I think Judge Hatter is the Scarlet Hand’s whammy,” Daphne said as she brushed whipped cream off her nose.

 

Just then, one of Robin Hood’s merry men came running into the coffee shop. He was out of breath and so excited he could barely speak.

 

“The . . . jury . . . is . . . back,” he gasped.

 

Everyone jumped up from their seats and followed the lawyer at a run until they got back to the courtroom. The double doors were closed and two card soldiers blocked the way.

 

“Court is in session. No one can enter,” the Eight of Diamonds said.

 

“You let me in right now, or I swear the two of you will get the shuffling of your life,” Granny said.

 

Befuddled, the guards stepped aside and Granny threw the doors open. Every person in the packed courtroom turned to gape at the noisy newcomers.

 

“Uhm, as I was saying,” Judge Hatter said. “Has the jury reached a verdict?”

 

The man in the black cloak stood up from his seat. He held a folded piece of paper in his hands. “We have,” he said. There was something familiar about his voice, but Sabrina couldn’t place it.

 

“Very good. Read your verdict,” Hatter replied.

 

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