chapter FIVE
Rage poured out of my mouth, as I shot off the ground and ran at him. “I was about to kill him! You had no right to… ”
As I collided with Lorren, he grabbed my wrists, jerked more towards him and spat angrily in my face. “I had every right. You can’t screw this up. I’ll kill you myself, if you do. Look at yourself. Do you even know what you’ve done? You allowed your rage to consume you. Look!”
He thrust me towards a golden mirror. My reflection was… horrifying. Shaking my head, I couldn’t breathe. All the air was sucked out of my lungs as I stared at myself. Dried blood covered my torn clothes and dirt-streaked face. Long blue patches wrapped around my throat in three long bands—bruises from Eric’s grip on my neck. The blood and the bruises weren’t what made me gasp. That wasn’t the most disturbing thing. When I stopped struggling, Lorren released me. I moved slowly towards the glass as if it were made of poison.
My jaw hung open as my hands touched my face. Pure violet eyes gazed back. Long curling tongues of flame, that used to be my dark hair, lifted around my face. The flames glowed and danced like Medusa’s snakes swaying in a breeze that didn’t exist. Black marks marred my pale skin in small patches that resembled tiny gleaming scales. When I touched the black flesh, it felt cold and slick beneath my fingers.
Trembling my hand fell to my side. I turned back to Lorren with wide, pleading eyes. “What did this? What’s happening to me?” I stared at him for a moment hoping he’d show me compassion that I didn’t deserve.
He rolled his dark eyes, and grabbed my shoulders. Twisting me back towards the mirror, he pushed me forward and said, “Look once, and look hard. I will never offer you this again. Rage is poison, Ivy. It flows through your body and corrupts everything you are. You’re becoming what you feared the most—demonic. You hair will turn to snakes, your skin will turn to scales, and your eyes will burn with hate.” He twisted me back towards him. Tears streaked down my cheeks, and I couldn’t bear to look at him. He shook me once. Hard. “Never forget who you are. Vengeance is not justice. I put Eric and Al on your path to help you. You completely screwed up Eric, but Al knew it was her time.”
“What?” I squeaked, feeling the last rush of anger leave me.
Lorren didn’t look at me. Instead he moved around in the golden chamber, sifting through some loose things on a table. I had no idea what they were—they were odd shapes—and looked to be made of glass. Lorren picked one up and walked over to me. “They were both chosen a long time ago to make certain that Kreturus does not win. Al did her job. Kreturus played you. And you let him.” Lorren cracked one of the glass beads and poured its cold contents over my head. It sank into the flames that had been my hair, and cooled them. Soon the flickering violet flames became still, lying limp on top of my head.
“He played me? How? I haven’t even seen him. Not since I was down here.” I looked at Lorren and I could tell that he had no more patience with me. This was the end of it.
He spun me around again, and forced me to sit on a golden stool. He cracked another glass gem over my head. I didn’t dare move, even when it felt like bugs creeping down into my scalp. “He’s been following you, influencing those around you. He still wants you, Ivy. That will never change. When Al saw Eric in the clearing, she knew that the demon was influencing him. Eric didn’t act of his own accord. Kreturus’ hand forced him. Yes, Eric wanted the book. Yes, he has it. And yes, Al saw the manipulation. That is why she didn’t want you to go. You weren’t ready to face Kreturus. She gave her life to spare yours. She knew you still need Eric.”
Dazed, I stared straight ahead and said nothing. My scalp tingled as the unseen substance spread over my head. I replayed that night in my mind. Lorren remained silent allowing me to peruse my thoughts. Eric had been acting oddly. Even for the Valefar version of him. I didn’t understand why. I’d assumed that I’d misjudged him. I thought I was wrong about him. And the cost was Al’s life. But according to Lorren, there was more going on than I could see. I glanced at my hands, turning them over, avoiding Lorren’s eye, “So, all that time, Kreturus was nearby?”
He knelt next to me, and when I looked up at him there was hope shining in Lorren’s eyes. “Yes. He’ll never leave you alone. He’s there, silently stalking you—waiting to pounce. This outburst almost gave him the opportunity. If you’d killed Eric and allowed the rage to permanently consume you—you’d be with him now.” Horrified, I stared at Lorren with my jaw hanging open. “They both told you to control your anger. They both warned you several times… ”
“How did you know?” I didn’t doubt his words, but wanted to know if he was there the way Kreturus had been. I knew nothing about angels, and Lorren was one. “Were you there all along and I didn’t see you?”
At first Lorren didn’t reply. His dark hair hung in his eyes as he reached for another glass stone and cracked it, pouring its contents onto my head. Then he pushed his finger into the cavity of the glass, and smeared some of the colored goo on the skin that was now black scales. He touched it to my shoulder, the base of my neck, and slid the last bit across my left cheek. He looked into my face for a moment, then turned and sat down.
After throwing the empty piece of glass on the table he said, “I can see you. I’m an angel, and could have followed you, but I can’t leave here.” I went to open my mouth to ask why not, but he cut me off. “Don’t ask. I won’t tell you. It doesn’t affect your fate, only mine. I used the glass to see where you were and what you were doing.” He shook his head. “When you get off course, there is no middle road for you, huh? It’s crash and burn all the way.”
I stared at him for a moment. He was so odd. I wanted to know why he was trapped in the Lorren, but couldn’t ask. I leaned forward to stretch my back, and buried my face in my hands. When I sat up, I pushed brown hair away out of my eyes. Surprised, I grasped a brown curl between my fingers and looked at it. There was no trace of the flames. I glanced at Lorren, who was watching me intently. “You fixed it?”
He nodded. “It’s easier to remember who you are when you can still see it. But there are no second chances. Not anymore. That was nearly permanent, and I do not have the power to intervene like that again.” Lorren was silent for a moment, and moved closer, locking his dark eyes with mine. “You can not kill Eric. Period. He has my protection, no matter what form he’s in.”
My jaw dropped. “How? How could you protect him? He killed Al. She was a good person. He isn’t!” I felt anger course through me. I resisted the urge to grab it and hold onto it. Lorren watched me as I let the feeling subside.
“Mmmm,” his voice was deep. “What if things weren’t as you understood them? What if Al gave her life and Eric was the unlucky guy who got stuck holding the sword?” He rose and walked towards me. His face said he spoke the truth, although I couldn’t possibly understand how that could be. He stopped in front of me. “See with your heart. It’s the ability that will save you. It’s the gift Al knew you had. She said that your passions would damn you, but that she knew your heart could overcome anything thrown at you. She said you were strong. She knew you could do this.” Lorren’s dark gaze rested on my face. I wanted to squirm.
“You speak of her like she’s still alive… ” I glanced up at him. “Don’t you mourn the dead?”
“Don’t assume to know me, Ivy Taylor.” Lorren bit the words at me, and turned away. He walked back to the table and sat on the top, swinging his legs off the side. He still wore solid black clothing that seemed too big for him. His dark hair hung in his eyes. It was quiet for several minutes before he spoke again. “What of your wound? Why didn’t you do as I told you?”
Pressing my lips together, I looked away from him. I found I was speaking before I knew what I would say, “I can’t. I can’t do that to him. Surely you can understand. You spared Eric.”
But he shook his head, “No, I don’t understand. Collin didn’t serve angels for centuries upon centuries. He didn’t risk his life to save others. He allowed Kreturus to use him and manipulate you. And yet, you could kill Eric, but not Collin?” He arched a dark eyebrow at me.
My face scrunched tightly as I was about to spew out words. When I realized there would be no convincing him, I turned my head away and said nothing.
Lorren finally spoke, “The ending is the same for him, Ivy, whether you do it now or later. Collin’s a Valefar. Stay away from him.”
I stood, and looked at Lorren. “Al trusted him. Why can’t you?”
“Al was human and prone to making mistakes. That is a luxury that you no longer have. Stay away from him Ivy.” When I didn’t answer, he added, “I’ve made it so that you cannot kiss him again—not without taking your soul back.”
“What?” I shouted at him, rounding on him. Every muscle in my body tensed.
He rose and walked towards me. Lorren towered over me, and crouched slightly so we were eye to eye. The gesture made me want to punch him. “I’m forcing you to do what you must to survive. One of the gems I healed you with will seek out to repair you fully. You cannot stop it. You have to defeat Kreturus. And you can’t do it half healed. Every second your soul is in that boy is another second that gives Kreturus the opportunity to defeat all of us—without a fight.” He stood and looked down at me, sliding his hands into his pockets. “I removed the traces of demon scales and burning snakes. Do not allow them to return. I don’t want to see you again until you have your soul back.”