“I what?” she asked after the words didn’t come out.
Apologizing didn’t come easily to his nature but for peace, he’d do it. It had nothing to do with her being unhappy. This was for peace, and that was it. He had to do it. Cutty’s wasn’t safe. She had to stay here and it was his place. It was ridiculous for him to leave it.
“I’m…” Okay, he wasn’t going to be able to get that word out. Sorry might have been a bit ambitious for his first time around. She’d have to settle for something close. “Cutty told me about last night. I didn’t mean to make you feel…uncomfortable. I just want you to understand those things took place before…” This watching what you said shit was tough work. He wondered why most people bothered with it.
The edge she’d had in her eyes went from contempt but curious to something a bit less discernable as he waited to see if she’d have any response. She got up and walked over to the sink but didn’t respond. He didn’t care what happened. He wasn’t saying sorry. That’s where he drew the line.
Her back was to him as she rinsed off her plate. Then she finally spoke. “So, you wouldn’t have done something like that…say, yesterday?”
“Why does that matter? It didn’t happen yesterday.”
“I understand your situation. There’s no need to discuss it further.”
He sighed and relaxed in his chair. Maybe you could reason with a chick. Maybe things could be normal between them again now.
She finished up in the kitchen and then grabbed her purse. “I’m going downstairs,” she said abruptly, and left, leaving him to stare at where she’d just been. There seemed to have been something hostile in that exit.
He dug out his phone and dialed Cutty.
“Dude, what’s up?” Cutty said as he answered the phone. “You have a talk with her?”
“Yeah. I thought we were good but then…maybe not.”
Cutty made a hmmm noise before asking, “Did she say you were good?”
“No, but she said we didn’t need to discuss it. I thought that meant things were okay.”
Cutty made a low groan. “How can you have slept with so many girls and not know how fucked you are? Girls want to discuss everything. That’s a bad—very bad—sign.”
“I screw them, not talk to them. Now what do I do?”
“I don’t know. Maybe just ride it out for a while? See if she gets unpissed? I’ve heard that can spontaneously happen.”
“But what if she won’t talk to me?”
“So? You don’t like to talk anyway.”
“Yeah, but…I don’t know.”
“Oh no, do not do that.”
“Do what?”
“Fuck her again.”
“Who says I fucked her at all?”
“Lars?” Cutty didn’t just say his name in that one word, he reminded him of just how well he knew his history.
“Whatever. So I fucked her.”
“If you aren’t going to treat her right, don’t do it again.”
“I gotta go. Thanks for all the brilliant advice.”
“Don’t be a dumb ass.”
“Fuck off.” Lars hung up on him and went downstairs.
He walked into the shop like nothing was amiss. He tattooed the whole morning, trying to pretend she wasn’t there.
By the afternoon he knew with certainty he couldn’t do it; he couldn’t pretend that he didn’t want her. He felt like he was stalking her around his shop. She went in the back room and he remembered something he needed back there. She was by the counter and he felt the need to look at the appointment book. And it wasn’t that he wanted a woman; he wanted that woman.
It wasn’t about the chase with Faith, either. He’d already had her and it hadn’t lessened the urge at all. It had only made it worse. When he saw her walking around the shop, in her little white sundress, straightening up and then flipping through his books by the front counter, two things ran through his mind. First, she was the very antithesis of what he normally went for. She had none of the edge of his past lovers but that didn’t seem to matter. Second, and the bigger issue, if he slept with her again, there was sure to be hurt feelings that wouldn’t wear off in a week or two. It was already awkward but if he stayed away from her, things would eventually go back to some semblance of normal. He shouldn’t touch her. It would bring nothing but problems.
But all the logic in the world couldn’t rid him of the desire to throw her over his shoulder, carry her up to his bed and not let her leave until he finally got his fill of her, if it were even possible. And that thought was starting to consume every ounce of his brain and forcing out all the reasons why he shouldn’t.
He watched her walk across the shop floor and then back towards the counter. Her phone dinged a notification and she looked at it and for the first time that day, a small smile appeared on her face as she typed a reply to the text she must have gotten from one of the guys. She leaned forward slightly, that simple action causing the back of her skirt to edge up slightly higher on her thighs. Another ding and a little giggle escaped her lips and jealousy ripped through him that they were making her laugh. She was smiling for them while she wouldn’t even speak to him.
Logic fled completely. He didn’t care anymore. He’d hit critical mass. She was his and he wasn’t letting another day go by that she and everyone else didn’t know it.
***
The last client of the day left and Faith watched Lars walk toward the door and click the lock shut. It wasn’t something that should have caught her attention. It was right around closing time. Nothing unusual. But it did.
Maybe it was the looks he’d been giving her all day, when he thought she hadn’t been looking, or the elevated tension between them. Whatever it was, when he turned around, she knew exactly what his purpose was. It was a very bad idea to go down this road with him again but damn if her nipples weren’t hard buds.
He walked over to the two large windows and pulled down the shades until they hit the sills.
“Why are you pulling them down?” she asked, even though she already had her suspicions.
“No reason,” he said.
“Don’t look at me like that.”
He kept walking toward her, expression unchanged. “Why?”
“Because I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“Why?”
“Because—it just isn’t.”
The corners of his mouth turned up slightly, not enough to be a smile, just enough to add a devilish touch to an already sinfully alarming face. “You’re going to have to give me a better reason than that.”
“No, I don’t.” She certainly wasn’t going to tell him the way he’d been so cold after they’d had sex had crushed her feelings, or finding out just how little he trusted her had closed the door even further.
He got closer and she turned her back on him, which turned out to be a bad decision and not a deterrent at all. His arm wrapped around her waist, and his hand splayed against her stomach, pulling her back snug against him. Her fingers grabbed his hand, getting ready to pull it from her but her own weakness made her hesitate. Why? Of all the people she’d known in her life, why did he have to be the one she struggled to resist?
He brushed her hair away from her shoulder with his free hand, and then leaning down, started to slowly kiss his way toward her neck.
“Lars—”
“You don’t know what watching you all day does to me.”
She shouldn’t still want him but she did.
His voice, husky as he spoke against her skin, was quickening her response. His hand on her stomach started to slide downward until his fingers were pressing through the two layers of fabric at the juncture of her legs. His fingers pressed there and then didn’t move.
“You really don’t want this?”
Without meaning to, she moved against his hand.
“I thought so,” he said as his fingers started making a circular motion.
She had to stop this, and quickly. She tried to remember why, and it took some concentration but she remembered his cold demeanor minutes after he’d slept with her last time. The thought of that happening again gave her strength. She grabbed his arm and pushed it away from her.