Pouting at his proclamation, I pushed my covers back and crawled down the bed to get off. “You know you really shouldn’t make empty promises. Getting a girl’s hopes up and everything. Here I thought you were trying to woo me.” I shook my head in mock disgust.
Lucifer didn’t answer but watched me with cursory eyes. I tried not to let it bother me as I dug through the never-ending pile of laundry laying on the floor. I picked a shirt up and gave it a testing sniff, satisfied with its lack of B.O. I tucked it and a pair of jeans underneath my arm, before grabbing a pair of underwear from a different pile, not so barbaric as to wear dirty panties. With my clothes bundled in my arms, I headed for the bathroom.
I sat the bundle on the toilet and found my discarded bra from last night. Peeking out of the bathroom door, I searched for my unwanted shadow. When I found his spot on my bed empty, my shoulders eased, and I pulled at my tank top. Before I got it over my breasts, a sneaking suspicion made me pause.
Spinning around, I placed my hands on my hips and glared at a smirking Devil sitting on the bathtub lip.
“What does a girl have to do to get some privacy here? Do I need to get a priest in here, because I will,” I warned. I wouldn’t really, I didn’t think it would work for one, and two, I’d miss him if he was gone.
“You act as if my being here is a burden.” The fallen angel palmed the rim of the tub, leaning back as he stretched his legs out. My bathroom wasn’t big enough for his large frame and me to coexist without touching so his pant legs brushed mine.
“No, the fact is that if I were a guy, I’d have a raging hard-on twenty-four seven, and sometimes a girl needs a little privacy.” I sighed and hugged my clothes to my chest tighter, feeling vulnerable from the intensity of his gaze.
“If you wanted privacy, all you had to do was ask.” The teasing in his voice made me want to scream.
“Lucifer, stop torturing Jane.” Michael’s voice made me frown. Michael looked the exact way he had last night except without the dangerous undertone he’d left on. The look on his face was a mixture of annoyance and pity. Both emotions irritated me. I was the one who should be annoyed. They were the ones popping into my life and making my life and my panties hell, not the other way around.
“I apologize for Lucifer’s behavior. He does not know when enough is enough.” Michael’s apology made me realize that Lucifer had decided to leave. It happened so suddenly, that it actually took me a minute to realize he’d left.
I turned back to Michael watching as he leaned against the door frame while I pulled out my toothbrush.
“No shit. He’s the Devil,” I said sarcastically as I poured toothpaste onto the brush and shoved it into my mouth. “You know, you guys really need to get a life. ‘Cause I only have one and I can’t spend every second of it beating off horny angels.” With my mouth full of toothpaste, I wasn’t sure how much of it Michael actually understood, but he answered anyway.
“I understand your displeasure,” he said with a raised brow as if he weren’t sure he got my emotional state correct, “but might I offer a bit of advice?”
I spat, gave him an impatient look in the mirror, and shoved the toothbrush back in my mouth.
“While you’re no doubt feeling overwhelmed …” When I made a rude noise, Michael’s eyes narrowed. “There is a reason we were brought together. Whether to simply satisfy our deeper urges or for some more divine purpose, I do not know, but it might help you relax a bit if you ...” His brows furrowed. “How is it you humans say? Flick the bean? I’d be happy to provide visual stimulus.”
I sputtered at him and leaned to down to spit once more, but by the time I stood again, he was gone. Wiping my mouth on the towel, I pulled on my clothes like my life depended on it before stomping out of the bathroom. Of all the insufferable ball sacks. Did he not think I had already thought of that? I wouldn’t be wound so tight otherwise.
This wasn’t the first time I’d encountered angels, but none of them wanted to do me then, let alone paid much attention to me at all. I was a kid, for crying out loud. But when I told my parents about it, they just laughed it off. It wasn’t until much later that my mother let me know that she too saw angels. Guess it runs in the family.
Bet she didn’t have to worry about horny angels though.
Snatching my keys and purse off the counter, I slammed the door behind me. I almost fell to my knees and cried with happiness when I turned to find a blonde bombshell waiting for me with two coffees in her hands. With greedy fingers, I took the offered cup and took a big drink, not bothered that it burned my tongue as the caramel chocolate mixture hit my taste buds.
“Bad night?” the blonde said with a smile. Amanda or Mandy for short, my best friend in the entire universe and maybe even the entire multiverse, if one believed in such things. Which I didn’t, or I didn’t think so.
Where I was short and scrappy, she was built like an Amazon with golden locks and a badge that allowed her to shoot people for real. Like without repercussions. I really needed to get me one of those.
“You have no idea,” I moaned as I held my coffee cup in both hands like it was the answer to all my prayers. “How did you know I needed this?” I glanced her way with suspicion in my voice.
Mandy’s quizzical look confused me. “It’s Friday. You always need coffee on Fridays.”
The reminder of the day destroyed all pleasure of the caffeinated orgasm happening in my mouth. Mandy was right. She always was. It was Friday, which meant it was time for a visit with my parents.
Don’t get me wrong, I loved my parents, but they could be a little much.
Swallowing down another gulp, I hoped it would quench the anxious feeling in my stomach, but it only made it worse. This morning’s fight with the angels only added to the damper on my day.
When I told Lucifer that I had things to do today, I hadn’t been lying. I’d be expected at work by four, but before then, I had to get groceries and buy more underwear, something I sadly found myself doing more and more of recently. But before any of that, I had to go check in with the good old fam.
“But why are you here?” I asked, making my way down the three flights of stairs. “You rarely have time to meet me for drinks, let alone do emotional handholding now that you’re a hotshot detective.”
When we stopped in front of my car, I turned and waited for her explanation. Mandy stood next to me with her blonde hair pulled back tight in a bun, her legs encased in too nice of pants for a visit and, dear God, a blouse, yes, a blouse. I didn’t know how I didn’t see it before.
“You’re here for work, aren’t you?” I accused. I glanced down at my cooling coffee with utter disdain before giving her the evil eye. “This is bribery coffee, isn’t it?”
“Jane,” she started, but I didn’t want to hear it.
“No, no.” I shoved the coffee back into her hands cutting her off. “Take your dirty coffee and go. I have places to be for, as you reminded me, it’s Friday.” I clamored into the car and tried to slam the door, but she caught it with her lightning-fast reflexes. I blamed the police training. They had to replace parts of their trainees with robots to do what they did every day.
“Listen, Jane, just give me five minutes,” Mandy pleaded with me.
I pursed my lips. “Two.”
“It’s your fault really,” Mandy started, and I already didn’t like where it was going. “Clemons was down at the Heavenly Arms working over this guy who was clamming up tighter than you did that one time at Jimmy Mitchell’s kegger, you remember that?”
“Thirty seconds, Mandy,” I warned, tugging on the door.