When I had first come into the room I hadn’t believed my father could be any paler, but these new worries caused all the remaining color to leave his face. He stared up at the ceiling for several minutes, silently contemplating my troubles.
A spark fired in his eyes when he turned back to me. “It was a mistake to underestimate Nathan. We’ll need to move quickly, before it’s too late.”
“There’s nothing to be done,” I said miserably. “Nathan knows you’re dying. He’s probably speaking to the Elders this very minute.”
“We’ve still time—”
“No, we haven’t! Unless the sickness is cured, you’ll be dead by tomorrow night.”
My candor was rewarded with a stern look of disapproval. “Did you see this when you tried to heal me?”
I nodded sheepishly.
“How easily you break our laws,” he sighed.
Guilt pricked at my conscience, but having already crossed the line, I decided to continue forward regardless of any future punishments. “It’s only fair that you understand the consequences of your decision. Nathan knows Samuel is expected soon, and will stop at nothing to force me into marriage before he arrives. Tell me, Father, what shall I do without a parent to intercede on my behalf?”
“Do not tempt me to act against God, Selah. My first instinct is to remain here and see this fight through to the end, but God has given me another path.”
I tossed up my arms in defeat. “Then all is lost for me! I might as well surrender my birthright for good and accept Nathan’s proposal this very evening. Why start something I am sure to lose?”
“Because your downfall is far from certain. Rather than give in, you will leave for Philadelphia tonight and wait for your cousin’s ship to arrive. When you return married, Nathan will lick his wounds and move his attentions to another young lady.”
The very idea was unthinkable and I folded my arms stubbornly across my chest. “How can you send me away right now? If you are determined to leave this world, then I am equally determined to stay with you through the end.”
Anger flashed on my father’s face, and I watched him struggle to lift his head from the pillow. My heart wrenched when even this small act proved too difficult, and he collapsed back to the bed, winded from the effort. “The next fifty years are of greater concern than my last few hours,” he said faintly. “You will do as I say and go to Philadelphia to marry your cousin. The moment Samuel steps off the boat, find a magistrate and get the business done. Only then will your future be secure.”
“You want me to marry him at first sight?” I asked, taken aback. Having an arranged marriage was one thing, but marrying a man after knowing him for less than a day was inconceivable. What if he demands his marital rights the very night we are married? My stomach clenched with fear, sending hot and cold tremors racing through me.
“Come here, Selah,” my father said, his expression softening as he beckoned me back down to his side. I knelt and let him take my hand again. “Please understand this is the only way. It is imperative that you are married before returning to Hopewell, or there is no telling what trouble Nathan will stir up.”
“But I’ve never even met Samuel. What if we detest each other?” What if he’s hideous and foul-tempered? “You promised to give me time to get better acquainted before we wed.”
“It is too dangerous for you to be alone. Let me die knowing my daughter is safe from being hunted like our kind in the Old World. Samuel is a good man. He has taken the oath to protect you, even unto death. Promise you’ll not return home unmarried.”
My father stared at me, his eyes pleading, and I found myself unable to deny this last request. “I shall marry first.”
His face relaxed into a weak smile. “Go and pack your trunk while I rest. When you are done, come back and draft some letters for the trip. I will need to explain the entire matter to Samuel and also beg Netty Bradford of Meredith House to act as your guardian in my place. If Captain Harlow is in attendance at the docks, I ask that you personally relay the reason for my absence. Do you recall his appearance from when you last met?”
The image of a tall man in a sea captain’s hat popped into my head. “I believe so.”
“Very good.” My father took several shallow breaths as he fought to remain master of his ailing body. “You are just like your mother,” he said, struggling now with each word. “And like her you will find that true strength comes when you learn to fear no one but God. Now leave me be. You have much to do, and I must rest if I am to be of any further use today.”
Obediently, I got to my feet and left the room. Closing the door, I slumped against it to keep from crumpling to the floor. No matter how much I wanted to be strong like my mother, I trembled with fear. I had never been more frightened in my entire life.