“Dispose of it,” I heard Edmund say.
Ryland’s hands encompassed my head, placing pressure against my skull. His hands grew hot and his magic filled my skull with fire as he attempted to burn away my brain.
My own scream jostled me awake, my eyes adjusting to the dark studio apartment. My legs fought against the heavy comforters Ilyan had covered me with, I kicked and screamed to get away from them, to make it back to Ryland. My body called out in pain as I moved, each shift of weight sending pain through me. I ignored it all, my focus only on finding Ryland.
“Ryland!” I yelled out loudly. I was sure he was right there, sure he was going to answer me.
Strong arms encircled me, and for one fleeting moment I was sure it was Ryland. But the arms were wrong. They were leaner, stronger. I pushed away from Ilyan’s arms, screaming out as the pain from my aching body became too much.
“Joclyn! What’s wrong?” Ilyan yelled above my screams, his eyes as wide as mine in his panic at being awoken.
“Ryland!” I yelled out again, not giving Ilyan an answer. I continued to scream and yell for Ryland as I scrambled across the floor, my legs giving out a few steps in. I tumbled down to the ground as another wave of pain shot through my spine, crippling me.
“Joclyn!” Ilyan was at my side immediately, his hands moving to press against me.
“Don’t!” I yelled, pushing him away. I didn’t need his magic to calm or heal me. I didn’t need him. I needed Ryland. “I have to find Ryland!”
I clawed my way toward the window, desperate to get out, to see if I could sense him. To see if I could save him. He was in my dream, he remembered me in the dream. No, it wasn’t a dream, it was a T?uha. A shared consciousness. I still had a chance to save him.
“Ryland?” Ilyan said.
“Yes!” I yelled, continuing to claw my way toward the glass. “He was there. In the T?uha. I saw him, he... he remembered me... I can save him...” I reached the glass as my spine clenched again. I screamed as my body threw me to the ground, the pain incapacitating me.
Ilyan was there a moment later, his magic rushing into me in a wave of power. My body relaxed as the pain seeped away despite its attempt to possess me.
“He’s gone, Siln?. He’s gone,” Ilyan said.
“No! I saw him, in the T?uha. He remembered me. He...”
“It wasn’t a T?uha, Siln?...” Ilyan moved me toward him, my pain filled body unable to resist the unwanted contact.
“It was... I saw him.” I was becoming desperate. I needed him to understand. I was running out of time.
“No. Your necklace still lies in the bathroom and your magic... Siln?, the bond is not strong enough to connect with him without it.” I tried to push away from him, but it was useless. My body was too weak.
“I saw him, Ilyan... I saw him.” I needed to get to him, I needed to open the window and find him.
“It was a dream, Siln?. He’s gone.”
“No!” I sobbed, attempting to move away from Ilyan again, but he held me in place. “No, I saw him.”
“He’s gone.”
Slowly I gave in, the tears of my pain and my broken heart too much for me to fight. I cried into Ilyan’s bare chest, his hair falling around both of us as he cradled me. I leaned into Ilyan as he began to sing. He sang the same song he had comforted me with the night he flew me away from Ryland.
The rough Czech words surrounded me as he sang over and over, soothing me back to sleep.
Three
“Jos! Jos! Did you fall asleep again?” Wyn’s voice was loud over the speaker phone. I startled awake from my doze, my head swimming with the pain.
“Sorry,” I looked toward Ilyan who had obviously began standing in alarm at Wyn’s exclamation. Seeing me awake, he settled back into his seat, returning to the leatherwork he had been working on since we first got here.
“What were you saying?” I prompted. I heard her exhale on the other end of the line. I knew it was irritating talking to me like this but I was finding it hard to stay awake for long.
I had been haunted by the same dream every night since it first awoke me in a panic five days ago. While I had given up on my foolish attempt to track Ryland down, the lack of sleep mixed with the screaming panic I awoke in had made me exceptionally weak. I wasn’t awake for much of the day anymore. If it wasn’t for Ilyan – calming me, protecting me, and healing me several times throughout the day – I knew I might have passed away already.
I cringed at the thought.
I looked up to Ilyan again, unsurprised to find him watching me, his eyes lifted from his work.