chapter 4
THE FLOOR SEEMED TO MOVE UNDER MY FEET AND THE walls changed from white paint to deep brown paneling. It took me a few moments to realize that I was walking—walking away from Apollo, away from the bomb he’d just dropped.
Of course he followed. “Aiden, where are you going?”
I was heading for the basement. I needed to put myself between Alex and… and whoever came for her.
Apollo appeared in front of me, blocking my route. I stepped to the side, but he followed. “Aiden, listen to me.”
“I’m done listening.”
“This is not a threat, my friend. But if she is about to connect with the First, I will put her down. I have to—” He caught my fist, pushing me back. “The entire world hinges on us not going to war.”
I stepped toward him, beyond thinking, and he pushed me back again. And again. Pain tore through me. Physical? Emotional? I didn’t know. “You’d kill her?”
“I wouldn’t want to.” The blue of his eyes glowed. “And that’s why I’m doing everything to avoid that. Putting her on the Elixir gives us time, Aiden. And we need time. I need time, because I have six family members ready to rip into the mortal world. I cannot be here, waiting for Alex to manage an escape or for Seth to figure out a way to connect with her.”
“No one is asking you to be here, Apollo. I have it covered.”
He shot me a dubious look. “You’re not getting it. The gods know they can’t kill her, but that doesn’t mean that will stop them from trying. And while they might not be able to kill her, they will harm her.”
Leaning against the wall, I pressed the heels of my hands against my temples. All I wanted was to go down there, get Alex, and take her far away from all of this. “You’re asking too much.”
Apollo sighed. “You need to take a step back from this, Aiden. Look at this from the perspective of a Sentinel—how you were trained.”
I lifted my head, pinning him with a dark look. “You’re asking me to be objective now?”
He barked a short laugh. “Yes, I know I’m not the most objective god, but you have a job to do, Aiden. A job to protect mankind—and to protect the Hematoi. That is your duty. And you know what the right thing to do is.”
“So I need to choose between my duty as a Sentinel and my duty as a man? To Alex?”
“Yes and no. You need to choose both.” Apollo leaned against the other wall, still towering over me, and I was a good six and a half feet. “Marcus is right. Apollyon or not, she can’t last much longer like this. Not eating? Not sleeping? Has she even been drinking water?”
I closed my eyes. “Twice. She drank water twice when she thought I wasn’t watching.”
He cursed under his breath. “She needs to rest. She needs a break from this, Aiden. And we need time to find a way to end this.”
“Or what—you will kill her?”
Apollo didn’t answer.
“Gods.” I listened to the feet of Sentinels on the floors above for a few moments. “Who knows about what you can do?”
“Only my sister Artemis and possibly Zeus—if he’s been paying attention, which is up in the air,” he said. “I have gotten the six to agree that if we put Alex on the Elixir they will back down. It’s not just about her, Aiden. It’s about millions of people.”
I nodded, pushing off the wall, pulling myself back together. Duty and love had never really mixed well before, but there’d always been an in-between. “I need time.”
“Aiden, we don’t have time.”
“I’m not asking for days. I’m just asking for tonight.” I started toward the basement door and paused. “I need to try one more time.”
“I can’t fault you for that.” He grinned. “I’ll give you tonight. Then I’ll be back tomorrow morning.”
Nodding again, I opened the door. Apollo was gone when I glanced over my shoulder, and I was alone. Alone with a decision I knew I could never live with if I made it.
Alex was lying on the mattress, curled on her side, back to the door. She didn’t start demanding that I let her out or start cussing me like she’d done the last three days or so. She didn’t even acknowledge I was there.
Maybe she was sleeping, but my heart rate picked up as I reached into my pocket, pulling out one of the three keys to the door. “Alex?”
Nothing. Not even a flicker of a muscle.
Hopefully, she was sleeping, but my hands shook as I turned the lock and slipped inside, quickly closing and locking the door behind me. I called her name again as I slid the key back into my pocket. There was no answer, and by now, Alex would’ve been all over me like a daimon after aether.
Something was wrong.
I rushed to her side and knelt on the edge of the mattress. A mess of hair hid her face. Pulse pounding, I placed my hand on her still shoulder. “Alex, are—”
Flipping onto her back, she slammed her bare feet into my stomach. Air rushed out of my lungs in a grunt. I fell back, catching myself as she popped up on her feet.
Dammit. I should’ve known she was like a daimon playing possum.
With a near-feral sound, she came down on me, knees first. I flipped to the side, and I could’ve taken out her legs, but hurting her wasn’t something I would do. Hitting the floor beside me, she threw her leg over mine, locking it between her thighs.
My brows shot up. “What are you doing?”
“Shut up,” she hissed, grabbing my hand closest to her.
“Really, if you wanted to hold my hand and snuggle, all you had to do was ask.”
Anger flushed her cheeks as she rolled on top of me, straddling my legs. Silent and scowling, she went for my pocket.
I grabbed her wrist. “Geez, Alex, normally I’d love you being all grabby, but knock it off.”
She sneered as she tried to pull her arm free. “Didn’t know you were such a pervert.”
Smiling tightly, I twisted my other arm free and caught her hand when she tried to slam it into my throat. “You know exactly what I am.”
“Don’t remind me.” Using her weight and what strength she still had, she tore herself free. Scrambling to her feet, she balled her hands into fists. “Let me out of here, Aiden.”
I stood. “That’s not going to happen.”
Alex shot forward, shoving me back a step. “Give me the key. I have to go. I need to go to him.”
Hearing her say that pricked at my skin. “What you need to do is listen to me.”
Her chest rose quickly and her eyes darted to the locked doors. She moved her left foot back an inch, and just like I’d taught her, she braced her weight on that leg and spun.
The kick was freaking perfect—knee bent at a ninety-degree angle to get the most oomph behind the extension—but I expected it. Using my forearm, I blocked the kick instead, using the momentum to send her crashing to the hard floor, hissing as hot pain jarred my bones.
Alex was incredibly fast when she wanted to be, even more as the Apollyon. Spinning around, she jabbed with her elbow and then the heel of her palm. Then she dipped, going for my legs—all maneuvers we’d played out hundreds of times. Fighting each other truly was like fighting ourselves.
Anticipating a butterfly kick, I darted behind her. She pivoted around, swinging her arm. Air rushed over my jaw as I ducked around her and wrapped my arm around her waist. I drew her back against my chest, jerking my head back to avoid hers.
“Let me go!” she screeched, wiggling like crazy. Her voice was pitched high, as if I was hurting her, but I knew I wasn’t. “Let go of me!”
“Alex, you need to listen to me.” Reasoning with her probably ranked right up there with insanity, but I had to give her a chance to pull out of this. “If you don’t break this connection with Seth, you’re not going to like what happens.”
“You’re not going to like what happens!” She threw her weight back, lifting her legs to her chest, but I held her easily. “Because I’m going to seriously hurt you when I get out of here. My first visit is going to be to your brother!”
“Stop it! Listen to me.” I cocked my head to the right, avoiding hers again. “The gods are going to war because of what Seth is doing.”
“Good! Let them bring it.” She laughed, lowering her feet to the floor. “We will destroy each of them. Starting with that idiot Apollo.”
I sighed, running out of patience. Yeah, I wasn’t as saintly as Seth claimed. “You can’t continue like th—”
Her elbow thrust into my stomach and she broke free. I sprang forward, catching her around the waist, and flipped her onto the mattress when I should’ve just dropped her on her head. It wasn’t like she’d repay me the same kindness.
Alex reared up, trying to hook her legs around my waist to roll me. I pressed down, using my weight to trap her lower body. Her hands flew at my face, fingers curved into claws. Snatching her wrists, I pinned them down above her head.
“Look at me,” I said, leaning down so that only a few inches separated our faces. “Look at me and listen.”
She started to turn her head, but I pressed my forehead against hers, trapping her. Her eyes squeezed shut and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about that.
Taking a deep breath, I willed for her to understand me. Just this once… “This isn’t you, Alex. You would never act like this. This isn t you.”
“Yes, it is!” Pain broke her voice as she arched again, almost throwing me off. “You’re just pissed because I don’t want you anymore. You’re jealous and obsessive.”
I ignored her words. “You’re letting Seth control you. Do you remember how afraid of that you were? How terrified that you’d lose yourself to him? What happened to that?”
She stilled except for the ragged fall and rise of her chest.
My eyes traced the contours of her face. “I swore to you that I wouldn’t let that happen, and I know I’ve failed you, but I’m not going to just give up, Alex. I’ll never give up on you.”
Her lips formed a tight line and a shudder rolled through her.
“You’ve always been so strong—unique. Only you controlled your life. No one made decisions for you. But this—not even questioning or fighting what’s happening—is weak”
Alex’s eyes flew open. “I am not weak.”
“Then prove it!” Dammit, I wanted to shake her. “Shut him out, just for a few minutes. I know you can. I know you worked for months on blocking him. Shut him out, Alex, and talk to me. Prove to me you’re not weak.”
Amber eyes churned, luminous and powerful. They were beautiful, like a god had placed two topaz jewels in her face, but I hated them. Hated what they meant and stood for. Hated that no matter what Alex had done—no matter what we’d done—she’d connected with Seth anyway and lost herself within seconds.
“I know you can do it,” I said. “I know you have that strength in you, because that’s what I love about you most. Your strength is admirable—beautiful. It is who you are. And what you’ve become is not you.”
“Love?” she repeated the word as if it were foreign to her tongue.
My chest tightened and the words spilled out of my mouth before I could stop them. And dammit, I begged—something I’d never done before. “Please come back to me, Alex. Please. I love you too much to lose you. And I love you too much to allow what’s about to happen, but you’re leaving me no choice.”
Her lashes fluttered down and a heartbeat passed, then they reopened. I sucked in a breath, too astonished to feel or think anything other than the fact that her eyes were brown—warm, whiskey brown.
Her eyes were brown.
“Alex…”
Face pale and lips trembling, her brows puckered. “I’m so sorry. Aiden, I lo—” A scream tore from her, and she arched clear off the mattress, eyes widening.
My heart stopped. “Alex?”
“I can’t… it’s everywhere. It… hurts. Aiden, please… make it stop… please…” She slumped back, whimpering and twisting, thrashing her head back and forth.
With my heart in my throat, I started to let up, but then her eyes opened again and I wanted to rage. Golden eyes stared back into mine. I’d almost had her—almost.
Alex went wild underneath me.
The erratic mix of emotions funneling inside me made it hard to wait this out. Hope crashed and burned into barb-tipped disappointment that eventually gave way to anger. Alex was in there and she was hurting. Five seconds of catching a glimpse of her and she’d been sucked right back into Seth. I didn’t know if I should be happy or sick to my soul.
Even with the lack of food and sleep, it still took a godsawful amount of time for her to tire herself out. She thrashed, screamed, kicked and even tried to bite me.
But finally, she grew weary and was panting. “Does this make you happy? Hurting me like this? Make you feel all big and bad?”
“I’m not hurting you.” I opened my eyes, weary.
“You’re killing me!” She tried to rise up, but fell back. The damn girl was going to hurt herself.
“Dear gods, Alex, can you stop fighting me for a damn second?” She opened her mouth, but I placed my other hand over her lips. “Don’t say something smartass. You have no idea what kind of shitty night I’ve had.”
Her eyes narrowed.
“I mean it. Not one smartass comment.”
She grew very still, and I removed my hand. The tip of her tongue darted out, wetting her lips. I could tell she had something entirely infuriating to say but was holding back.
“I need you to try again, Alex. Block him. Cut the cord, and I’ll help you through it this time. I swear. I’ll get you through it.”
Alex stared at me for so long that I feared she’d lost the ability to speak. “You don’t get it. I don’t want to. I need him, Aiden. Not you. A half and a pure can’t love each other. Just let me go.”
Someone must have punched a hole right through my chest. The pain was that real—just as real as the pain I’d witnessed moments ago.
Aiden, please make it stop.
I focused on that instead of what she’d said. Alex was in pain when she fought him, and who knew if there were periods of times when she was fighting him and we just didn’t see. All I did know was that when she’d been herself—her real self—she’d asked me to make it stop, begged me. And there was only one way I could make it stop.
I knew right then, as much as it tore me apart, there was no other choice.
Leaning down, I placed a kiss against her damp temple and closed my eyes. A second—only a second—passed, and I soaked up her warmth and the moment of closeness without her fighting me. Then she jerked her head to the side and said something too horrible to really even acknowledge. Lifting myself off her, I rose to my feet and backed off, leaving the cell.
Alex remained on the mattress, not bothering to rush the door as I locked it. I stood there, watching her, knowing that what I was about to do had nothing to do with my duty to humanity or to my own kind. It really didn’t have anything to do with Apollo and his warnings.
Aiden, please make it stop.
There was only one way I could make it stop.