chapter Thirteen
I woke up with a smile. It was just past sunset when the dream-world images of Shaz faded and I came back to myself. At least not all of my dreams were unpleasant, but waking up to realize it wasn’t real was somewhat of a burn.
Jez was gone from the bed. Only her scent remained to indicate she’d been there. I found her in the kitchen with a bottle of wine in one hand and an unlit cigarette in the other. She leaned back in a chair at the table, my laptop open in front of her.
“Hey.” She raised the bottle in greeting. Shadows lined her eyes. She clearly hadn’t slept well. “You should probably put a password on this thing. Anyone could read this shit.”
The bottle was almost empty. Jez had moved quickly from the crying stage to the drinking stage. It worried me. This stage was brutal; I’d been there myself.
“I’m destroying them once I read every last word. But, you’re right.” I stared into the fridge out of habit before deciding I didn’t have much of an appetite. “So, what do you think?”
“I think if you’ve found out who exactly Lilah is hiding from, we’ve solved that problem. I also think you read the part about Kale and freaked out, which would explain why you came to bed stinking like fear.” Tipping the bottle to her lips, she drained the last of it in one long swallow. “You were born to be a wolf, Alexa. The vampire thing happened by chance. Don’t worry. You’ll figure this out.”
I forced a tight smile. “I hope so. I’m going to talk to Brogan and Willow about it, see if they know anything that will help. Until then, I’m going to take my mind off it by beating some answers out of Falon. I want to have a little chat with Lilah, and he’s going to tell me how to find her.”
“I’m coming. I owe that smarmy angel a boot in the face. At the very least,” Jez proclaimed, frowning at the empty wine bottle. “Where do you keep the hard stuff?”
“No way.” I plucked the cigarette out of her hand and tossed it in the sink. “If you’re with me tonight, then there will be none of this. No drinking. No smoking.”
“But I—,”
“No, Jez. I know it’s easier to escape than it is to deal, but if you come, you need to have your shit together. Beat some ass now. Drown your sorrows later.”
She groaned and cast her eyes down to the floor. She was struggling to contain the rage and hurt that dominated her. It was difficult to refrain from responding to the strength of such emotion.
“Don’t feel like you need to do this,” I said.
“I can’t stay here brooding. I need to feel like I’m doing something to avenge Zoey. I can’t let Lilah get away with it.” With a hard set to Jez’s jaw, tears filled her bright green eyes, but they didn’t fall. When she met my gaze, the predator inside her peered out at me.
Jez was hungry for vengeance; Zoey’s death had broken her. Their relationship had meant more than I’d realized. They had only been together a couple months, but I understood how easily a bond could be forged. To have it broken so quickly had devastated her.
The doorbell rang, startling us both. I hadn’t left the house yet, and already I was jumpy. Anticipation for what I planned to do with my night had me on edge. I ran down the long hallway to the front door, pleasantly surprised to find Kylarai on the other side, but she didn’t look happy.
“Come on in.” I stood back. “I was just about to get ready to head out. What’s up?”
Kylarai peered out at me from behind a fringe of dark brown bangs. Her hair lay atop her shoulders in trendy layers that made her grey eyes stand out in contrast. Wearing butt-hugging blue jeans and a long, form-fitting sweater, Ky looked both professional and hot. Her energy was messy and scattered. It betrayed her fashionably well put together appearance.
“Sorry to just drop in,” she said, anxiously tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. “I need to talk to you. About the pack.”
“What about them? Did something else happen?” My pulse quickened. Lilah was susceptible to sunlight. Could she have hurt someone else so soon?
“No, nothing like that,” she assured me. “I saw them earlier today. We had somewhat of a pack meeting. About you.”
She spit out that last bit like it hurt her to say it. I realized where this was going; part of me had been expecting it.
I led the way back to the kitchen and waited patiently for Kylarai to give her condolences to Jez. I wouldn’t trust me either, but I wasn’t in a rush to hear that my pack didn’t trust me with their safety.
“Go on.” I gestured for her to continue when she looked uncertainly from me to Jez. “Tell me what the pack had to say. Since they’re meeting without me, I can only assume it means one thing.”
Kylarai sucked in a breath. She was having a hard time making eye contact. It didn’t seem fair that she had to be the one to speak for them all. Of course, she was one of my best friends, so it made sense.
“They want you out, Alexa.” Her words were rushed. Though she was nervously fidgeting with a stray penny lying on the counter top, her eyes were finally on me. “We’ve lost two wolves this week and Julian not so long ago. They think you bring danger to us all. They think you’re more vampire now than wolf. Nobody trusts you.”
The silence was deafening. Jez regarded me with wide eyes, awaiting my reaction. Kylarai was miserable. I could see this was the last thing she wanted to be doing right now.
“Fair enough,” I said, my voice hollow, lacking emotion. The vampire remark stung especially deep after what I’d recently learned.
“I’m sorry.” Kylarai’s soft declaration was pained. “I love you like a sister, Lex, but you and I both know they’re right. Things have changed for you. It’s not safe for us anymore.”
I nodded, having a hard time finding the words. “Fine. I’m out. No argument here. So who takes over? You?”
“Yeah. At least until Shaz gets back.”
The urge to punch something was strong. My anger wasn’t directed at Kylarai. This wasn’t her fault; it was mine. If I lost my wolf because of my blood bond with Arys, that would be my fault, too. I was doing a fantastic job of f*cking things up. If I didn’t stay mad, I might cry. So, I chose to nurture the growing ire. It would come in handy later.
“You know what? You should be Alpha, Kylarai. Not me. I’m cool with this. Really. You can tell everyone I’ll keep my distance.” Being cast out of my pack hurt like a bitch, yet I couldn’t deny the truth. “They’re better off without me.”
“I feel like an ass,” Kylarai said, staring across the living room at a vase filled with fake flowers. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to do this.”
“Stop apologizing. Only a true leader can kick a friend out for the good of all. I respect you, Ky. That will never change.”
She grabbed me in a big hug, crushing the air from my lungs. “If you need me, really need me, I’ve got your back. You know that, right?”
“Of course.”
Kylarai had been there for me through some bad times. Back when Raoul was playing with both my head and my heart, before Shaz and I were anything but friends, she had been the mother hen of our pack, taking care of those in need. Recently, she had found love after a few failed relationships. She deserved to be happy and safe.
“Watch your back, ok? Lilah shouldn’t be a problem much longer, but in the meantime, stay safe. Don’t let your guard down.” I was confident Kylarai could take care of herself. Hell, she’d torn her abusive husband’s throat out and fought at my side many times. She would make a great pack leader.
“I should go. Coby’s waiting for me in the car.” She returned to the front door, casting apologetic glances my way. “We need to have that housewarming party you keep putting off.”
“Oh, we will,” Jez piped up from the kitchen. “I won’t let her get out of it again.”
Kylarai smiled, and though it held sadness, it still lit up her face. “I’ll come by one night soon. We’ll go for a run. It’s been a while.”
I smiled and nodded, doing my best to squelch the growing urge to scream. After a few more insistent hugs and promises to see me soon, Kylarai made her way to her Escalade in the driveway.
I closed the door and leaned against it. “Well, my night is off to a f*cking great start.”
Jez appeared at the end of the hall. “I’m not going to insult you by asking if you’re ok. I imagine it feels kind of like being picked last in gym class. Nobody wants you on their team.”
I laughed, a bitter sound that resonated through the empty corridor. “Nice try, Jez. Don’t expect me to believe you were picked last.”
“No, but I know what it’s like to walk alone.”
We stood at opposite ends of the hall, staring at one another. Jez was the only werecat I knew. I imagined that came with its share of loneliness. Cats might be solitary creatures, but they too craved love and affection.
“I feel like I’ve lost my wolf and my pack all in one day,” I said, waiting for the emotion to hit me. Instead, I was numb. A hollow sense of calm always overcame me when I needed to shut down and escape. It would help me now, but I’d pay for it later when the floodgates broke open.
I stared at Jez, noting the predatory glint in her eyes. She had lost so much more, yet there she stood, ready to fight back.
Determination gripped me. I shoved away from the door with a bounce in my step. “Let’s get ready. We have some ass to kick.”* * * *“Are you sure? Once you do this, he won’t ever forget it. He’ll hold a grudge.” Willow’s warning went in one ear and out the other.
“He already hates me. I might as well give him a reason.”
I watched Willow pour a salt circle on the floor of Harley’s old room. In jeans and a t-shirt, he looked so casual. With his silver wings absent from sight, there was no indication of his angelic nature.
The Wicked Kiss seemed like the safest place to summon a creature of darkness. Falon could make all the noise he wanted, and nobody would give a damn.
“Are you sure that circle will hold him?” Jez asked, a brow raised in skepticism. Makeup hid the dark circles under her eyes. With her trademark red lipstick and skinny jeans, she hid her pain well, projecting a normal outward appearance.
“As long as nobody outside the circle breaks it, it will hold.” Willow glanced my way, a mischievous glint in his gold-flecked green eyes. “You have something silver?”
“Will this work?” I pulled the silver cross Kale had given me out of my pocket and handed it to Willow.
He held up his hands in refusal, unwilling or unable to touch it, and I swore something almost wistful crossed his face. “Yeah, that works just fine.”
“Are you ready? This is your last chance to change your mind.”
“I don’t have a choice. I can’t track Lilah through the number she messaged me from, and I’ve gotta find her before she targets another person I care about.” A nervous flutter started in my stomach. I was excited, looking forward to getting tough with Falon. In the back of my mind, I almost hoped he was hard to break.
I shrugged out of the long jacket that hid my dagger; I didn’t need it or the dagger for this. In a black tank top and jeans, I was ready for a fight should one come my way.
Tossing my hair back, I stared at the cross, briefly struck with concern for Kale. Maybe I shouldn’t be worried after what he’d done to me. Still, I needed to know he made it out of the FPA basement.
“Alright, let’s do this,” I said, my mind made up.
“You’re doing it,” Willow replied. “I’ll guide you.”
We stood outside the circle, careful not to get too close. Willow spoke slowly, the Latin rolling off his tongue with ease. It was just two lines, but it took me a few tries to get right.
“There are several ways to summon a demon, but Falon is in-between so calling him by name and offering an exchange of blood is most likely to work.” Willow held up a knife with a golden hilt. “Whenever you’re ready.”
I stared at the circle. It crawled with negativity, the promise of dark things. Taking a deep breath, I spoke the summons, enunciating carefully. Then, I held my hand out to Willow. Grasping my wrist, he held my hand over the circle and sliced into my palm. The blood ran down to stain the carpet with bright red blotches. I tensed, waiting for something to happen.
At first nothing did. I thought it had failed. Then a strange, burnt metal smell filled the room, followed by a growing mist in the center of the circle. It materialized into Falon, who stood there disoriented. His pale gaze went from me to Willow. Realization struck and rage filled his eyes.
“You stupid f*cking animal,” he seethed. “You’ve gotten too cocky for your own good. And you,” he directed his anger at Willow, “I should have known you’d turn up. And, with a Hound of all of things. I suppose you think by helping her you can earn your way back in.”
“We’re not here to talk about me.” Willow shrugged, unaffected.
“Falon, I want to know how to find Lilah. Where is she?” I got right to the point, refusing to respond to his insults.
His sneer was expected. “No need to worry about that. She’ll find you when she’s ready.”
“Where the hell is she? You’re not getting out of that circle until you tell us.” Jez approached with hands clenched into fists. I stopped her from getting too close, afraid she would step in the salt line.
Falon grinned. “You are a feisty one, aren’t you?”
Jez growled and shot him a vicious glare. I cut in before she snapped. Palming the cross, I stood as close to the circle as I could safely get. I knew I might have to cross it and even hoped it would come to that.
“I’m going to find her, Falon,” I said, my gaze locked on his. “You’re going to help me. I know who Lilah’s hiding from. I’ll do whatever it takes to lead him to her. Are you willing to do what it takes to keep him from finding her? What’s she really worth to you?”
His gaze narrowed. His substantial wings flared out behind him, hitting the invisible wall of the ten-foot summoning circle.
“You don’t know anything,” he spoke through clenched teeth. “Now, let me out of this circle, and just maybe, I won’t tear your head off your shoulders.”
I smiled, pleased with his anger. “I know she was promised to someone. And, I know that someone isn’t you.”
“So you know it all, do you? I bet you’re feeling pretty proud. Well, since you are doing such a great job digging up information, find Lilah yourself.”
Falon’s expression was stone cold. Crossing his arms, he did his best to stare me down. His taller frame might have given the illusion that it was working, but even a fallen angel can’t stare down a wolf.
The cross was warm in my hand. I wrapped the chain around my fist and held tight.
Willow caught my elbow before I could make a move. “Remember, once you enter the circle, you’re trapped inside until someone on the outside breaks it.”
I nodded, braced myself and stepped carefully over the salt line. There was resistance, like walking through water. Then I was through, and the circle closed behind me as strong as if it had been a concrete wall. Fascinating.
Falon stood his ground in the center, refusing to back up even a little. He held his hands up to keep me at arm’s length. “You really are a crazy bit—”
I clasped his hands in mine, slipping my fingers between his and holding tight. The cross was lodged firmly between our joined hands. Falon’s insult immediately became a scream.
Connecting with Falon opened me up to his energy. It ran over me like a waterfall soaking me in his essence. It was pain and pleasure twisted into a delightful rush that I both loved and hated. I tasted all that he was in that moment, discovering the depths of his power. He was an impressive creature, but he had weaknesses. I was determined to exploit them.
With a push of power, I drove him to his knees. A venomous hatred flashed in his eyes as he gazed up at me. I wouldn’t always have the advantage with Falon; I needed to make the most of it.
“Get off me,” Falon grunted, trying to pull his hands from mine.
I held tight, refusing to lose the connection. “Talk fast, or I’m just getting started.”
I gasped then as our energy aligned. His became pliant, easily bent to my will. A deafening roar washed out all other sound. I stared into his silver eyes and saw my reflection. He was mine, a dark entity bound to the will of the light. For the first time, I felt my light, simmering deep in my core. Brightness filled me, bursting forth in response to the fallen angel in my grasp.
“Told you so,” Willow said, but it was muffled, sounding far away. “You are definitely a Hound.”
“Where is Lilah?” With each word, I sent another pulse of power into Falon.
He struggled hard to free the hand that I held against the cross. I knew damn well it was the silver allowing me the edge over Falon. Without it, he’d have kicked my ass well and good already. Still, it was impossible not to enjoy the high that came from having him at my mercy.
“I have no part in your conflict with her. Leave me out of it.”
Despite his weakened state, Falon never once showed fear. He was rigid in his contempt. Having him on his knees before me was satisfying, but unless he was afraid, it just wasn’t enough.
“It’s too late for that.”
It wasn’t easy to hold him. My arms shook with the effort. The pressure began to build inside my head. No way was I letting him go yet, not without an answer.
Falon saw my exertion. He raised a brow in consideration. Unpredictable and unruly, it was impossible to know what he would try.
“You know, Shya may not let me kill you, but there are so many other things I can do to you.”
“Funny,” I replied with a growl. “I was just thinking something similar about you.”
“Alright then.” Falon smiled through the pain. “Ladies first.”
I blinked, and my eyes were wolf. My fangs sprang forth and claws protruded from my fingertips. I held tight to Falon and let him feel my wrath. Focusing on the silver that joined us, I twisted its power over him with my own and shoved it deep inside him.
My temper was short. All I wanted was to make him hurt. After listening to his snarky comments and hateful insults for the past few months, my patience had run out.
Much to my disappointment, Falon’s anguished cry was offset by his wicked laughter. Smoke rose up from our hands. I expected some form of retaliation. Falon was way ahead of me, and the bastard was clever.
“Your first mistake was thinking you could control me just because you summoned me,” he said between clenched teeth. “But, where you really went wrong was when you were stupid enough to step into this circle. Do you really believe a tiny piece of silver is enough to overpower me?”
I bared my fangs in a snarl and ignored the growing pressure in my head. It took great effort to hold him. Unfortunately, I too have weaknesses. Rather than trying to outstrength me, Falon targeted my greatest one.
In a swift motion, he jerked my hand hard, slashing my claws across his neck. Blood blossomed up from a wound beneath his ear. The scent hit me, and I shuddered; that crimson spill promised absolute rapture. I resisted the immediate urge to run my tongue over that pumping fount.
The bloodlust smashed into me like a Mack truck. It left me dizzy, and my concentration broke. The connection between us was lost. Falon didn’t hesitate. He jerked his hands from mine, swiped a finger through the blood from his healing cut and smeared it on my lips.
“What the f*ck?” I muttered in confusion.
Falon’s blood tasted like nothing I’d known. If power had a taste, this would be it. I ran my tongue over my lips, and that was it for me. The hunger swallowed me whole, and I was lost in it.
Because he made no attempt to fight me off, my attack was more forceful than was necessary. I heard Willow shouting for me to stop, but it was an irritation I ignored. Knocking Falon down, I ravaged his neck with a vicious bite. It wasn’t just blood but power as well. I drank him in with a rabid appetite to feast on everything he had to give.
The tangy taste of him fed my lust for more. I pressed him to the floor and straddled him. I bit again, frustrated with his impeccable ability to heal so quickly. The power rose to a dangerous level as I took his into me and fed upon it. I needed more. I had to devour him.
I ground my groin against his, creating a push and pull of power as I did. A pulsing, throbbing storm filled the circle to capacity. Falon pulled me close, encouraging me to feed from his body and power. In my crazed state, I didn’t think to question it.
Cursing beneath his breath, Falon grew hard beneath me. It encouraged the succubus nature of my vampire side, and I bit him again. The rest of the room fell away, and all I saw was the angel bleeding for me. It was ecstasy. Nothing else mattered.
Like the moment a fabulous dream is shattered by wakefulness, the blissful illusion was shattered when Willow destroyed the circle. He practically threw me across the room where I landed in a heap against the door.
The sound of wind rushing through the trees filled my ears. Blood dripped from my nose. More power than I could handle flowed through me, threatening what little remained of my sanity. Everything played out in a blur before me as I sought to catch my breath.
Now free of the circle, Falon came out fighting. He tossed Willow aside with little effort and turned toward me. Jez was there, ready with a silver dagger. She plunged it into Falon’s midsection, holding it pressed to the hilt. Smoke rose from the wound, and he doubled over.
“How’s that for a tiny piece of silver?” She hissed between bared fangs.
Falon’s wings flared out, and with a great flap, he filled the room with an ear-piercing sound. It drove Jez back. She grabbed her head, trying to shut out the noise. Falon pulled her dagger free and held it high.
“I hope you learned a valuable lesson here, wolf,” he said, scowling at me. “Your power is no match for me.”
“Yeah,” I gasped out through the pain filling my head. “I learned that you get a hard on from the power of an unnatural Hound like me. How does that make you feel, Falon?”
He crouched down in front of me so we were eye to eye. Turning the bloody dagger over in his hand, he said, “Don’t flatter yourself, sweetheart. That kind of thing would happen to any heterosexual male with a woman wriggling around on top of him. I’m as disgusted by it as you are.”
Grinning, he rose and tossed the dagger so it stuck in the carpet beside Jez. He shot a warning look at Willow and wagged a finger in scolding. To me he added, “I’m sure you’ll never make a mistake like this again. Enjoy the ride, bitch.”
He was gone, just like that. The horrible sound faded away, but the strange sensations continued to overwhelm me. My head felt like it might pop. It was a floaty, light-headed feeling accompanied by the overwhelming pressure of foreign energy. I tried to channel it back out, into the earth, the building, anything. It was no use. Falon’s strange power roiled around inside me like a tornado on a path of destruction.
“Alexa?” Jez was at my side, lifting my chin so she could peer into my eyes. What she saw made her own grow wide in terror. “Willow, what the hell did he do to her?”
Willow pulled me to my feet and looked me over. “He purposely dosed her.”
“What does that mean?” I squeezed my eyes shut as the room began to spin.
“He used your bloodlust against you, knowing you’d take power as well as blood. You can’t handle immortal power like ours. He could have killed you, but since Shya won’t let him, he let you take enough to really knock you on your ass for a while.”
“I don’t understand.” I shook my head, and the room spun faster. It was hard to focus on either one of them.
“My God, Alexa, your eyes are silver,” Jez breathed, a hand over her mouth.
“In basic human speak, he got you stoned off your ass,” Willow explained. “Your power is life and death. What Falon and I are, it has never been human. It’s beyond life and death. You can’t control it. It will run rampant through you. You’ll have facets of Falon’s power. They will likely overwhelm you. It won’t kill you, but it might feel like it.”
I pulled out my phone, using the camera on the front so I could see my reflection. I gasped and dropped the phone, unable to take a closer look. My eyes were indeed the same pale silver as Falon’s. The pupils were dilated, a wide and drowning black. Blood stained my lips.
A soft murmur of what sounded like a hundred voices all talking at once began inside my head. It steadily grew louder until it was just a cacophony of noise, each voice seeking to be the loudest. With my hands on each side of my head, I gave a frustrated cry. The power shifted inside me, and the voices fell silent.
My hands shook, and I had to sit down on the end of the bed. “Should be fine? What exactly does that mean?”
Willow looked from me to Jez and back again. With an awkward shrug, he said, “Either you manage to ride it out, or it drives you absolutely crazy.”