As Holly left the room, Victoria stared into the darkness. The clock on the nightstand said four a.m. Sleep was an elusive bedmate. Whenever she was able to fall asleep, she had terrible dreams, although none quite as bad as the one she'd just had. Most nights, she lay awake in bed thinking about anything and everything, afraid to close her eyes until the dawn's light chased away the monsters. Tonight was no exception.
Despite occasional flashes, she still couldn't remember everything that had happened in the parking lot, and when she tried to think about it, her head ached as if the memory was blocked by some obstruction. Under Dr. Mills' orders, she hadn't returned to St. Xavier's, and given the circumstances, she'd been excused from the rest of the school year. It'd been a relief not to have to face the Stepfords or anyone else at the exclusive high school that had for the past two years made her life a living hell.
St. Xavier's had been a special scholarship from their church—one which the benefactors had insisted would give Victoria an edge come college time. A loner by nature, making new friends had always been difficult at best, and after a few months, Victoria had given up, preferring to keep to herself. Then the Stepfords had taken everything to a whole new level as Brett had let it leak that she was his parents' charity case. It had been a nightmare from there on out, and a different Victoria had begun to emerge, one fluent in cynicism, distant and aloof. For the first time in her life, she had become a social outcast.
"I am officially a freak," Victoria murmured out loud. She hugged her middle, her fingers encountering a soft, furry head. Leto. She stroked him and he purred in response.
"Hey, how're you doing?" she whispered, fondling his soft velvet ears.
Leto had been a fixture in her life as long as she could remember. He was the only living memory she had of her parents, and whenever she confided in him, spilling out her secrets, everything always seemed better ... and less lonely. She pulled him unto her chest.
"I've missed you. I hate these nightmares so much ... mom, dad, school, the hospital. It's all so ugly." Leto watched her, unblinking, as Victoria thought of Brett, remembering the way he'd looked at her with such horror, blood covering his face. She shivered. "I wish I knew what happened, but it's like I don't want to remember or something inside of me doesn't want me to."
She scratched his head. "You love me, don't you, Leto? At least you don't think I'm a freak, like everyone else does."
She sighed and glanced at the clock. Six a.m. Her body still ached and she sat up slowly, pushing a grumpy Leto aside. Streaks of pale golden light seeped through her bedroom curtains chasing away the shadows of the night.
For a minute, she stood transfixed by the light dancing across the dark material—light into dark, dark into light; hypnotic, a silent metaphor for something she felt but couldn't express. Her eyes burned as she jabbed the backs of her thumbs fiercely into them. She'd promised herself no more tears.
Today is no different than any other day, Victoria told herself. You're just one year older, nothing more.
Selecting a black sweatshirt and a pair of black jeans, Victoria finger-combed the snarls out of her thick, dark hair and surveyed her reflection in the mirror. She'd lost more weight since the hospital, and the black clothing only made her look more gaunt than usual. In the dim lighting, even her eyes looked dark. The girl in the mirror smiled at the irony. Black was fitting; it was a day of death after all.
As if on cue, pins and needles surged through her hands and she rubbed them tiredly against her jeans. The tingling hadn't stopped since the hospital, but Dr. Mills had said that it would go away eventually. Leto jumped down from the bed and rubbed his silver-furred body against her legs, yowling as static electricity sparked from her jeans to his fur. His large, green eyes fixed on hers accusingly.
"Oh Leto, I'm so sorry! I'm a live-wire lately." She pulled him into her arms after a last glance at the mirror and scratched his ears as she started toward the stairs. Leto stared at her with oddly knowing eyes and purred loudly, pressing his face into the crook of her arm. Strangely enough, the tingling in her palms lessened.
Victoria peered over the landing. She knew Holly was up to something, especially given how excited and secretive she had been during the days leading up to Victoria's birthday. Although not her real aunt, Holly had been her grandmother's best friend, and when Victoria's parents had died when she was nine, Holly had taken her in and brought her to her home in Millinocket, Maine.
An hour north of Bangor with a population of just five thousand people, Millinocket was the most picturesque town Victoria had ever seen, home to lush forests and pristine rivers and lakes, resting against the backdrop of Mount Katahdin. It was a far cry from the hustle and bustle of Greenwich Village in New York where she had lived with her parents until the tragic accident that had torn her life apart.