Armored Hearts

chapter 9

Gareth stood in front of the mirror in his chamber, preparing for dinner. He had sent word that he would take dinner in his room but Grandfather had quickly denied his request. Grandfather ordered Gareth to join the party for dinner and expected him to help entertain their guests. Gareth struggled with his cravat as he glared at it in the mirror. An expletive escaped under his breath as he tried to tie it again. He had more important things on his mind, like how to protect everyone associated with him. Entertaining the annoying Americans only added to his stress.

Where was Mr. Strong? Was he already dead? The old man was never far from Gareth’s thoughts. It gnawed at his gut, keeping him on the edge of retching his stomach’s contents again. Was the old man being tortured for information at that very moment—information he didn’t have. Guilt at what might be happening to Mr. Strong twisted his insides further into a knot. The old man was probably already dead.

Regardless of his grandfather’s demands, Gareth contemplated refusing to join the dinner party. He had no appetite and didn’t think he’d find it by dinner.

Who was the flying attacker and from where had he come? Should he attack again, how would Gareth guard everyone at Waverly Park? The weight of being the household’s sole protector pushed down on him. It felt so heavy he could barely stand with it on his shoulders. If only he could confide in Tabitha, but she was heading to her new life very soon so he might as well get used to being utterly alone.

Argh. He ripped the stupid, frivolous fabric from around his neck. Tabitha usually tied them for him. Another reminder of all that he faced.

A gentle knock sounded at the door.

Gareth wadded the cravat into a crumpled mess and threw it across the room. “To hell with you!”

The door opened. “‘Come in,’ is what we say in America. You’ll have to help me with English etiquette when we entertain guests or I’ll get it all wrong for sure.” The melodic voice swept into the room uninvited, just like its owner. Jessamine shut the door behind her and blinked at Gareth. “You’re standing?”

“Here it is customary to wait until granted entrance before barging into a room. I might have been indecent.” Gareth continued facing forward, choosing to glare at her from his reflection while keeping his back to her. “And yes, I can stand. I simply cannot walk.”

Jessamine padded across the floor in slippered feet, heading for Gareth. “I just wanted to have a talk with you before dinner. There’s something I think I should tell you.” Jessamine’s dark eyes widened as she noticed the cravat on the floor. Her pink dress rustled as she bent to retrieve it. Her décolletage was a bit lower he’d seen, as was customary for evening dresses. Still respectable, but the combined effect of her corset and her bending allowed Gareth to steal a view of her womanly endowments. He had to glance away so he could think and remember why he didn’t want her around.

“Miss Keller, it really isn’t proper for you to be in my chamber with the door closed. I suggest that whatever you need to say can wait until we are at dinner or in one of the common rooms with an open door.”

Jessamine continued on her path to Gareth, stepping between him and the mirror. Her floral scent replaced the air as he breathed. His mind felt as if he’d had too much to drink when she stood so close. The warmth of her body radiated from her and the memory of holding her rushed in, making his hands want to reach for her. Gareth cleared his throat. “Miss Keller, please leave before your father discovers you here.”

Jessamine reached up and placed the cravat around Gareth’s neck, bringing her face just inches from his as she stretched up on her toes. Her large, dark eyes teased him, and she smiled. “And what will he do if he finds us here? Force a hasty marriage upon us?”

Gareth returned a stern look at her comment.

Jessamine giggled as she arranged Gareth’s cravat and straightened his collar. “I’m sorry, but what I need to tell you is of the utmost importance and isn’t for other ears. I know you aren’t pleased with this match between us. I’m hoping that in time you might soften toward me. But it will never happen if we keep secrets from each other.” Her eyes no longer teased as she looked up at Gareth. “Last night I went out for a walk after everyone was in bed. My reasons were twofold. I wanted to share the good news of our engagement with my cousin—”

“Good news indeed,” Gareth interrupted.

Jessamine pursed her lips but continued. “Anyway, my second purpose…I was hoping to get a glimpse of the Flying Knight. I failed at the first reason, but…I did more than succeed in the other.”

Gareth hadn’t expected this confession and wasn’t sure how to respond. He forced what he hoped looked like an expression of disbelief. “You saw the Flying Knight? Are you certain it wasn’t a bat?” He raised one eyebrow in mocking disbelief for effect.

Jessamine’s hands went to her hips. “You don’t believe me?” Her lips parted in a look of astonishment.

“I think it’s preposterous. How could you have seen this phantom during your short visit to the shire, when neither I nor anyone else in our household has ever seen him? He’s always spotted by the overly imaginative or simpletons.” Gareth shook his head. “On second thought, it makes perfect sense that you spotted him.”

Jessamine narrowed her eyes and shot him a look of pure death. “I’m neither simple nor did I imagine the whole thing. And he had to be one big bat because I did more than see him. I flew with him.”

Gareth stared blankly at her. “You went flying with him?” Gareth pointed at the ceiling. “Up in the air? How much celebrating did you and Tabitha do once you excused yourselves?”

Her dark eyes flared. “I wasn’t drunk. He flew me to safety because someone shot arrows at us… well, at him, but I was there, so he swooped me up and took me to safety before going to investigate.” She stepped closer to Gareth, taking his hands and wrapping them around her waist before putting her arms around his neck. “I was this close to him—so close I could feel the warmth of his body through the armor. He’s no phantom. He’s living flesh. I could hear his pounding heart.” Her dark eyes met his. “Much like I can hear yours now.”

Gareth swallowed. “And you’re telling me this dream you had last night because…? Is this some attempt to make me jealous?”

Jessamine stepped back. “It was no dream. And no, I’m not attempting to make you jealous. You’ll soon be my husband and protector. These are your lands and your village. The knight said he’d never been attacked like that before so this could be some new danger for your household and neighboring people. I thought you needed to know.”

Gareth’s glare became even more acrid. “Protector? Have you been blind to the wheelchair I sit in, day-in and day-out? I’m in no position to be anyone’s protector. If that’s what you want, maybe you should flag down your flying knight and marry him instead.”

Jessamine shook her head. “I came to you with this as a way to start building trust between us. You are not just some cripple stuck in a chair with nothing to offer. You’re a man with strengths and abilities. Honestly, I believe you think of your chair as an impediment much more than anyone else does.” Jessamine spun around. “Look, it’s not even in the room and you have to bring it up.” She stopped and a curious expression came over her lovely face. “How do you get around in here without your chair? How did you get to the mirror where you stand?”

Gareth held her gaze while trying to think of an answer. Then he remembered that he needed to drive her away. He knew just how. “Like this.” Gareth hopped and hobbled toward the nearby chair. Before he got there he intentionally stumbled to the floor.

Jessamine started toward him.

“Don’t. I can do this.” Gareth crawled his way up the chair and sat. “This is how your future protector gets about without his chair. Do you think this attacker will fear me when he sees me crawling toward him? Or maybe he’ll worry I can run him down with my chair?” Gareth was yelling at that point. His face grew hot from his rage at having to move about in such an undignified manner in front of her. “Does this arouse you? Look at me, the man you will soon marry. Get a good look because this is what you will be chained to for the rest of your life. You want honesty? This is what I am without my chair. If you must have your title so much, then take it and get on the ship with it, along with Tabitha and your father. Let’s not pretend this marriage is about any more than your rung on the social ladder.”

Tears pooled in Jessamine’s eyes and her lip quivered. “I didn’t mean to upset you or…cause you embarrassment.” She stepped toward him, reaching out her hand. “I’m really not…”

“You’re not what? Interested in marrying me? Good. Go without the title. Even better. That way we have no ties at all. I’ll do this for Tabitha if I must, but don’t expect me to pretend to be happy about any of it. If it wasn’t for her needing a secure future I’d not suffer your presence a moment longer. Now get out of my room!”

Jessamine blinked hard and stumbled toward the door. She turned to face Gareth one last time when she got there. “I was going to say that I’m really not bothered by how you move without your chair. I want to be your partner in life and help you. I hope someday you feel comfortable being your true self in front of me.”

“This is my true self.”

Jessamine nodded and walked out the door.

The hurt look on Jessamine’s face weighed on Gareth. She annoyed him yes, but inflicting her pain bothered him. But he had no choice. It was for her safety anyway. How could he ever respect or trust a woman who only wanted him for a title? She’d have her title soon enough and be back on a boat for America.

Besides, Gareth would need to do some traveling himself. He needed to go to Scotland and find out more about his mother and the Fae. Had she been one of them? Perhaps Grandfather had more information he could draw from.