“You’ll have to ask Liam,” I said, jerking my thumb at my Summer instructor. “He’s the one who got all excited about the fact I’m in a bad mood.”
“Because I have a theory about your bad mood and your overreaction to Rourke’s words.”
Suddenly, I felt those golden eyes on my face, piercing through the emotions I was so desperately trying to hide. Sadness over his words. Embarrassment at my overreaction. Disappointment that I’d read our bond wrong. Ever since I’d heard about Marin and ever since I’d shown my powers in the Autumn woods, a strange kernel of an idea had begun to take shape in my head. The idea that I could be like her, that I could mate with more than one.
But I knew that was ridiculous.
Liam kept calling me a Greater Fae, but I wasn’t great. I was just normal, average. I’d lucked into using those powers. That was all. I feared I couldn’t live up to what they expected of a Greater Fae. And I feared I wasn’t enough for four mates.
“It’s the powers she’s trying to access,” Liam said. “She’s drawing the shadows to her, and they’re permeating not only her skin but her mind. So, it’s twisting her thoughts, making her angry, sad, and morose.”
Alastar snapped his fingers and nodded. “Quite right. I’d forgotten about it, but I believe you’re on to something, Liam. Marin mentioned it once. She said she kept the dark thoughts at bay with a stone she kept close to her via a hidden pocket in her dress.”
For the first time since I’d entered the room, I looked up and met Rourke’s gaze. His lips stretched into a tight smile, and he nodded.
“So, it’s just the magic?”
“Seems that way, darling.” Liam squeezed my elbow.
“Oh, Rourke, I’m so sorry.” I took two steps toward him, and then stopped, suddenly aware that a dozen Summer fae eyes were watching my every move. “Please forgive me for flying off the handle.”
“No need to apologize, Norah.” A pause. “We just need to determine how we can train you without turning your sweet mind inside out.”
“Well, we’ve got to find that stone, don’t we?” Liam turned to Alastar. “Any idea where it might be?”
Alastar’s face clouded over. “Ask the Autumn. He’d know better than me.”
“As I’ve said repeatedly, many times,” Rourke said, his voice transforming into pure ice, “I did not support Viola or the assassination of Queen Marin. I was and am not privy to insider information, if that is what you’re implying.”
Alastar rolled back his shoulders and stalked closer to Rourke. Face to face, only inches apart, I couldn’t help but be struck by how different they were. Alastar was a tank, his body corded with thick muscle. Large beefy arms, thick neck, and a pair of thick red eyebrows that looked like dancing caterpillars. His emotions radiated off his body in waves.
Rourke, on the other hand, was still and calm. His spine was straight, his chin held high. He didn’t have those beefy muscles. He was much more lithe, and he wasn’t quite as tall, but he radiated just as much strength and energy as Alastar, maybe even more so.
“It’s in your blood, Autumn. You can say you’re not the same, but it’s how you’re born. We’d all be better off without the lot of you.”
“Don’t talk to him that way,” I said quietly.
Alastar’s head jerked my way. “Excuse me?” And then a laugh. “Hell, you’re no better, changeling. Did you know that no one actually wants you all around? You come back in from your human realm all confused and ignorant and helpless. The only fae who ever go to the Academy to become instructors only do so because their lives are worthless or they’re forced. They’re the lowest of the lows in the fae world. Ex-rebels, robbers, unwanted bastards.”
“Alastar, that’s enough.” Phelan stepped into the middle of this horrible fight, his hands held up on either side of him. “I think you’ve made your point.”
“Don’t tell me you’re siding with the Autumn.”
“I’m siding with the mission,” Phelan said, for once being the more reasonable of the two. “Regardless of how we might feel about the Autumn fae, we cannot jeapordize our plan.”
Alastar scowled and shook his head, and then spun on his heels. He stormed out of the hall, disappearing out into the courtyard. Everyone else stayed quiet and still, and my heart beat uncomfortably in my chest as my mind weighed Alastar’s words. How much of that had been true? And how much of it had been framed in his own personal opinions?
Did the realm truly hate the changelings?
And was the Academy really what he had said?
As difficult as it was for me to believe, it did fit in with everything I knew so far. Kael had told me that he’d been unwanted in his home, banished until he found a mate at the Academy. Rourke was an ex-rebel, an enemy to his crown. And Liam had been captured for serving Queen Marin, only released so he could spend his days at the Academy. I didn’t know Finn’s story yet, but I had a strange certainty that it would something along those lines, too.
Someone cleared their throat. I didn’t know who, and it didn’t matter. It was enough to knock us all out of our reverie and back to the mission at hand, as strange and uncomfortable as we might all be now.
Phelan moved over to the map, braced his hands on the table, and stared down at it for a long moment before he sighed. “Rourke, do you have any idea where that stone might be?”
“Are you certain I’m the one you wish to be asking about this?” Rourke asked coolly. “Or would you rather consult someone not stained by their birthplace?”
Phelan’s grip tightened on the table. “Look, I’m not going to pretend that there’s no tension between our people and yours. It’s been that way for decades, and it feels alien to be working together, particularly on something that involves fighting back against your Queen. But you’re what we’ve got, and we need your help. It’s your call whether or not you want to give it.”
“Rourke,” I said, eyes pleading with him across the room. “Do you know where the stone might be?”
He pursed his lips, his eyes searching mine. “You still want to help these fae, after everything they’ve just said about you.”
“No, I want to help the realm.”
With a slight sigh, he gave a nod and turned back to Phelan. “On the border between the free territory and the Autumn woods, there’s a small village of Wilde Fae. It’s not...the most pleasant place in the realm, particularly not the shop where the stone might be found. The keeper specializes in death objects, items found on dead bodies. It’s possible the stone could have found its way there.”
Phelan gave a nod. “Good. You will leave at dusk.”
Chapter Nine
Liam helped me onto my horse, his face a reflection of the torment in his heart. He wouldn’t be coming with us, but even he had to agree that it was for the best. It would just be me and Rourke, no one else. The Hunters were afraid that a large party might attract the attention of any Autumn fae out on patrol near the border, alerting the Queen as to what we had planned. Rourke had volunteered to go, as he was the only one of us who knew where the Wilde Fae village was located. And, I had to go, to test whatever the shopkeeper tried to pawn off on us. We needed to be certain it did what he said it did.
“You be safe now,” Liam said, eyes flashing. “If the situation doesn’t feel right, you run, okay? And you come right back here to me.”
I nodded, wrapping my hands tight around the reins. “All we’ve got to do is go get the rock and come right back.”
“And don’t waste too much time,” Phelan said from the doorway of the stables. “You still have more training to do with the stone. The longer this takes, the longer it will be before we can send you into the Autumn Court to spy on the Queen.”
Rourke steered his horse over to my side. “I know you don’t think you can trust me, but you can. I’m not going to let anything happen to Norah.”