touch

“About two weeks.”


His eyes widened briefly then he turned and tugged me around the rink. We made one loop then sat together to watch Beatriz and Tommy skate by several times. Brad kept his hand wrapped around mine and I didn’t mind. I felt less lonely that way.

They brought me back before dark. Beatriz grinned as she walked me to the door. Tommy and Brad stayed in the car.

“I saw,” she said knowingly.

I shook my head, a real smile stretching my face and walked inside. Her laughter echoed through the door as I leaned my head against it.

She saw me holding Brad’s hand and took it as hope. A tear leaked out. I could never do that to her or Brad.

“Everything okay,” my mom asked behind me. I heard hope in her voice too.

“Yes,” I said keeping the devastation from my voice. “Can we start the chant early?” I wanted the peace of oblivion.



I rushed out the door with Aunt Grace’s keys in my pocket and two boxes in my arms. Gran hadn’t baked for Mona while I wasn’t working saying she hadn’t had the heart for it. Now that I made an effort to go to work, Gran made the effort to send me with something.

Across the street, the sight of Brian brought me up short. This time he didn’t walk away. He stood there shaking and watching me. Anger pierced me.

“Didn’t you do enough?” I screamed at him. He visibly jumped and turned away quickly putting distance between us.

I could understand his trauma after being used by Ahgred. I didn’t understand why he came after Morik though. Morik had never touched him. Why not go after Ahgred? Perhaps facing him in the dark proved too risky. Hadn’t I shied away from the same thing? Whatever his reason, his continued strange behavior worried me. I didn’t like that he watched the house. Could he be waiting for my family?

Dropping the boxes into the backseat of the car, I dashed back into the house to tell everyone about the encounter and warn them.

“Ahgred mentioned that,” Aunt Danielle said surprising us all.

“What do you mean?” I demanded.

“Brian’s been trying to watch you. Each time he gets too close, Ahgred turns him around.”

“No, I mean why are you talking to Ahgred?”

“It keeps him quiet so the rest of you can sleep. He can’t hurt me anymore,” she said softly.

I wasn’t the only one staring at her as if she’d gone crazy. “Just be careful,” I warned everyone again and left.



A few minutes before close, Brad came in.

Since Mona was already in back starting clean up, I moved behind the counter to take his order. Instead of ordering, he asked if I wanted to walk the few blocks to the theatre and catch a movie.

“Beatriz?” I asked suspiciously.

“No. She’s at home with Tommy, chaperoned by our parents. I thought you might want to get out and enjoy something a little less intense than roller skating.”

I really didn’t want to, but something in his expression told me he had just as much determination as Beatriz. So I nodded and told him it would take me a few minutes to clean up.

As soon as Mona saw him waiting, she gave me Gran’s money and my share of the tips and sent us on our way. We chose a comedy and spent the next two hours sitting side by side in the chilly theatre.

Smiling with the closing credits, I turned to Brad to see his reaction to the movie. His eyes already watched me. No smile lit his face. Before I could ask why, he leaned in and kissed me. The kiss differed from the one he’d given me on the porch. One, it lasted longer. Two, it lacked any playful flavor. It tasted of good-bye and regret.

He pulled back slowly sorrow lining his face. “She wouldn’t talk about it last night other than to say she wasn’t giving up on you,” he whispered.

“I know she won’t. That’s why it will hurt her the most.”

He nodded and took my hand. Wordlessly, we left the theatre.



Beatriz dropped me off after school on Thursday, and I watched her pull away with relief. Tonight marked the first night of my last week. No more chant. No more hiding. Four weeks had passed since the shooting along with several Brian sightings.

I walked into the house and dropped my books on the floor.

“A lot of homework?” Gran asked from the stove. I shrugged and went to sit by Aunt Danielle, who watched me closely.

“Giving up the pretense?” she asked quietly when I sat.

“Maybe,” I whispered back closing my eyes. “I don’t know.”

They left me alone through dinner. I stayed next to Aunt Danielle not wanting to eat. Restlessness grew. My mom noticed and suggested I go for a quick walk around the block before dark. Tugging on my jacket, I slipped out the door pretending not to notice her tears or Gran’s consoling embrace.

My feet carried me on the long walk to Morik’s house. I stood outside staring at the dark windows remembering the fun we’d had inside.