“Judge, i-if I m-may,” my lawyer stammers, and I give him a sideways glance. I couldn’t afford a lawyer, so I was handed this fucktard, who doesn’t seem to know what the hell he’s doing. I can’t tell if he’s trying to be bad at this, or if he just sucks outright.
“No, you may not,” the judge cuts him off. He holds up a piece of paper, tilting his head back to look through his glasses. “Lindsay Cole, two counts of theft, illegal substances, assault,” Judge Calhoun rambles onward, reading my record of all the unlawful incidents I’ve been pegged for over time. How does he have that shit on me? He sighs and swipes his glasses off his face, narrowing his eyes at me like I’m the Devil. “She has a rap sheet a mile long. As for the father, he’s as clean as a whistle. I think I would be doing this child a favor taking the mother out of the picture.” I gasp with dread and pull on my lawyer’s arm. My ears ring, and I feel like I may faint.
“How does he know about those things? All of it happened when I was underage,” I whisper in disbelief. “You have to do something!” My lawyer has a look of ignorance written on his face, like he’s in above his head, and my mouth pops open. I’m dumbfounded at how stupid he is for a fucking lawyer.
I avert my eyes from my lawyer and glance at Eric across the way. He’s sitting back in his chair, an arrogant smirk across his face as if he doesn’t have a care in the world. He thinks he’s going to win this, and by the way this is going, he just might. Gah! I just want to slam his face into that table. My fingernails dig into my chair with the unbearable urge to do it. He doesn’t want Piper; he just wants her so I can’t tarnish his name. He wants to prove a point his father couldn’t prove with his mother. He wants to hurt me ‘cause he knows he can. That is who he is, after all; he’s a bully and he won’t change. A little boy with a magnifying glass, and I’m the ant that was stupid enough to walk right in his line of sight.
The gavel slams, making me jump.
“I’ve made my decision. Lindsay Cole, you are denied guardianship over Piper Cole. Full custody is granted to Mr. Eric McCormick.”
The air is sucked from my lungs. “No!” I wheeze, shooting up from my chair. I glare at Eric, who is smiling proudly. Stepping forward, I’m more than ready to give myself the treat of slamming his face into that table. My lawyer grabs my arms, stopping me. “You’ll be held in contempt if you touch him,” he warns.
“No. He can’t get away with this!” I scream, pointing at Eric.
My eyes fill with tears as my heart is smothered with the inevitable feeling of being empty. I carried Piper for nine months, had her naturally all on my own. Then he showed up at the hospital, and that was when it all went wrong. He saw how happy she made me, and he knew he could take it away… and he just did. This is a game to him. A tug of war based on control and I just fell on my ass, letting the rope slide against my palms.
***
The courtroom is empty, but I can’t seem to get my ass out of the chair. Everything from the moment I saw Piper’s ultrasound picture, to hearing her heartbeat, and hearing her first cry play in my head. I sob. How did that judge know all that about me? I thought those things were hidden from your record when you turned eighteen. Why didn’t my lawyer fight for me? I narrow my eyes and bite my lip in confusion. I need to know. I demand to know. I stand on shaky legs and walk to where the judge sat. He slipped into a room just behind his stand. I’ve heard voices muffled through the door for the last thirty minutes, so I know he’s still here. I close my eyes and blow out a slow breath. Maybe if he sees how determined I am, he’ll have second thoughts on his ruling. I push the door open and open my eyes. The judge is standing behind his desk, my lawyer standing beside him, and Eric and his lawyer standing on the other side of the desk. Eric’s lawyer is handing Judge Calhoun and my lawyer a big stack of cash. I blink a couple times. Surely this isn’t real.
“You paid him off?” I whisper, looking at the group dumbfounded. That’s why my lawyer didn’t fight for me. That’s why the judge was so uncaring of a daughter needing her mother. He was being paid by Eric and his lawyer. Anger fills my veins.
The judge sighs and snatches the cash from the lawyer.
“Sit, Ms. Cole,” the judge demands.
“No!” I respond firmly.
“Sitting would be in your best interest,” he insists, counting his money. My nostrils flare as I inhale a breath of rage. “What is it you want? Money? Your daughter on the weekends? What? What will it take for you not to have seen this?” The judge sets the stack of cash on the desk and pinches the bridge of his nose.