“And the party went buh-bye,” Loki mumbled as a great idea struck him like a light bulb above his head: escaping.
Usually, people would escape through the main doors, fire escapes, or the windows. Loki was fond of bathrooms, and he didn’t know why. In his Ordinary World hometown, Snoring, he’d always found refuge in the school’s bathroom. He thought it was one of the best places in the world. He hid there when he didn’t feel like mingling with other students, when he wanted to avoid girls who could turn out to be demons, when he wanted to avoid bullies he wasn’t allowed to retaliate against, and particularly when he was bored with classes. He ate in the bathroom, read comics, and tried to find the missing digits of God’s cell phone number, which was partially written on the wall.
“Hey God, can you help me? I’m in the bathroom, hiding from the bullies you told me I should ignore. Any suggestions? Fast, please, because I’m out of time.”
Locking the bathroom door behind him, a sudden storm lit up the night outside.
“And it was a dark and stormy night in the toilet,” Loki mumbled, looking for a way out. He had thought that repeatedly talking to oneself wasn’t a good idea, but he had no one else to talk to—he liked it because when he asked himself a question, he rarely answered.
As the bathroom’s door sprung open, Loki climbed out of the window, and faster than a Road Runner, he ran across the moonlit street toward the bushes. When he ran, his arms always took the lead, stretching out in front of him. Kids in school used to laugh at the way he ran.
Finally, Loki spotted his Cadillac shining red in the dark. He dove into the driver’s seat through the window as if he were superman. Lucy was sitting in the passenger seat, listening to music on her phone, checking out her fingernails.
Loki didn’t exactly land in the driver’s seat. He landed in Lucy's...well...never mind. Let's say his head landed in her— again—never mind.
“Get off me!” Lucy shrieked.
“I’m trying,” Loki said, unable to sit up straight. “They’re after me!”
“They who?”
Loki tilted his awkwardly-positioned head, amusing himself with Lucy’s chin moving upside down. Her eyes were looking at an invisible something at her lower left, which Loki assumed was his upper left.
“Do you mean those boys and girls I see in the mirror?” she laughed.
Loki freaked out and adjusted himself in the driver’s seat. “What’s wrong with you?” he said to Lucy. The way she was adjusting her blouse would’ve led someone to believe they were making out ferociously in the car.
“I hate girls,” Loki mumbled, taking his eyes off sexy Lucy. He started kicking Carmen with his foot. Keys weren’t Carmen’s thing. Although she was Loki’s best friend, and worst car, she needed a real kick-start to operate.
Carmen’s engine picked up. It sounded like an angry zombie calling for brrr…brrrr…brrrrraiins. The radio sprung to life with the melody of one of her favorite songs called ‘Run for Your Life’ performed by a band called the Piedpipers—Loki had googled the band before but found out they didn’t exist. It was how Carmen played her music. She played, Loki listened, no questions asked.
“Nice girl, Carmen. Yeeeha!” Loki spit out proudly as the Cadillac gunned through the muddy road ahead.
In the rear-view mirror, he saw Donnie Cricketkiller talking friendly with the vampires who were watching him with angry red eyes and fangs. Donnie must have persuaded them that Loki was the real vampire hunter, and that he was out to kill one of them now. It was a relief that vampires didn’t fly. If they wanted to get him, they had to chase him in a car like everyone else.
Loki suddenly remembered Dork Dracula whom he had gotten a glimpse of tied up on the roof of his Cadillac while jumping in.
“How did you get the boy tied up on the roof of the Cadillac?” Loki asked Lucy, gripping the wheel while driving down a bumpy road with creepy, curving trees above.
“Which boy?” she said nonchalantly, her eyes looking dizzy, and then let out an unnecessary laugh.
“Dork Dracula!”
“Ah, that, hmm,” she said, brushing her hair back.
“Ah, hmm, what?” Loki snapped. “Wait. Did you inhale some of the Magic Dust by accident?” Loki didn’t expect her to answer. The Magic Dust was designed to affect the eyes. Some people were allergic to its smell, and it made them hallucinate for several minutes. Soon, Lucy would start laughing uncontrollably until the affects wore off. “I let the doorman tie him up to the roof of your car, like luggage,” she laughed with big pupils, clapping her hands together. “Dork Dracula wanted to kiss me before I sedated him so I kicked him in the balls, and he fainted.”
“You didn’t sedate him?”