Beleth had a stillness about him that was disquieting to most, but I relaxed in it, wanted to emulate it. His body, hard and dark with ancient markings tattooed everywhere, could remain immobile if he so desired. No fidgeting, no unconscious movements. Like a mountain. Even his inky black wings could still into a statue on command.
"I'm awake now," I said. "And I need to talk to you."
He nodded once. "I only have a short time. I'm leaving."
"What? No, I need you. That's what I came here to talk to you about. I need you to train me. I have all these powers growing in me and I have no idea what to do with them."
Beleth rested a hand on my shoulder, his skin cool and stone-like. He didn't look like most Nephilim, at least from what I understood. Genetic testing had changed him, just as it had changed me. "I wish you had never completed your transformation. It was my intention to keep you in the dark about your heritage, protected from our people. But I couldn't let you die." He dropped his hand and stepped back. "If you were to grow more powerful, you would draw attention from the Nephilim. They would seek to use you for their own ends, particularly since you've had a child."
I hated when anyone used Ana as a pawn in anything, even an argument. "Then teach me to defend myself and my family. Don't leave me weak and useless."
"It's impossible. Even if I were to train you in everything I knew, you could not defeat the Emzara. The Enforcers of the Royal Court of Sunrise & Nightfall are all-powerful and undefeatable. Your only hope is to remain uninteresting to them."
Beleth looked up, as if noticing something only he could see. "I must leave. The Emzara will come for me. Are likely already seeking me. The Twilight Queen can already sense that I've turned you. I must meet with her and explain. No one is allowed to create a new Nephilim without her leave, but you were born of Nephilim blood so I believe I will be exonerated in this one thing, if I leave now."
Before I could reply, could protest or argue, Beleth rose into the sky. "Goodbye, son. Be safe."
I shouldn't have been surprised that moments later a shimmering form appeared next to me. Toby stood to my elbow, a small boy full of piss and vinegar, as they say. Raised on the streets, he saw me as his savior, but he really saved me from myself, and for that I owed him.
"Wow, man, that was wicked. Yo, dude, how cool that he's your dad?"
I ruffled his dark head and smiled. "You know, it's rude to eavesdrop."
We started walking back to the mansion, his small legs struggling to keep pace with me. "Whatever, dude, it's the only way to learn anything around here with all you square adults who don't tell us kids shit." He paused, considered, and corrected himself. "Crap. Don't tell us kids crap. Is that better?"
I nodded. Toby had worked hard to learn how to be 'normal' and not a street rat struggling to survive. Some of the kids here came from sheltered middle-to upper-class lives, and Toby could be a bit of a culture shock.
Toby tugged my hand, and I stopped and looked at him. "What's up, kid?"
"Listen, and don't say nothing ‘til I'm done, k?"
I nodded solemnly.
"I been thinking lots about this, and I know it's the right thing. I want you to turn me, yo, like you been turned."
I bit off my first response and took a breath. "Toby, I know this may look cool from the outside, but even I don't know what it means to be Nephilim, and you wouldn't be the same kind of Nephilim as me. Beleth hasn't told me much, but he has told me there are two types of Nephilim. Those of the Court of Sunrise and those of the Court of Nightfall. You're Sunrise if you were born with Nephilim blood, and Nightfall if turned. I don't know what kind of beings Nightfall Nephilim become, but even if I did, you're young, too young to give up your life to turn into something neither of us understands. Nephilim are dangerous. You need to grow and live a normal life as a normal kid."
Toby smacked my arm away, his scowl deepening. "Man, that's a load of bullshit and you know it. I ain’t normal and I ain’t never gonna be normal, no matter how pretty you try to make my words. Even without para-powers, I'm still that kid on the street and I'm always gonna be. At least if you turn me I can be something, man. Something great."
"Oh Toby, you already are something great. I'm sorry, but I can't turn you."
Before I could explain more, he disappeared. I saw his footprints in the grass before they too vanished and I knew he'd left to sulk and lick his wounds.
I went back to the mansion with a heavy heart, wishing I could do more for the boy, wishing I could give him something to hold onto, something to give him hope about his own life. I'd hoped Elysium would give him that and, in a way, it had—he'd made some friends, learned some things—but he still seemed so alone, so desperate and sad. So out of place. I didn't know how to fix that, because he was right. He'd always have that street kid in him, nothing would change that. It was a part of him. He had to learn how to make that work for him instead of against him.
We all had our crosses to bear.