“Jules…” Kayden whispers in such a low tone that it’s almost silent.
“You should go back inside to be with your family.” My voice cracks, losing all its strength. I know it’s time to let go, it’s time to get back to what’s real—to reality. “Merry Christmas, Kayden.”
I turn and rush away as I reach in my pocket to pull out my cell phone. I’m quick to dial Stacey’s number to see if she can come pick me up. I don’t turn around to see if Kayden is chasing after me, because I’m positive he’s not. He knows as well as I do that the act is up.
Waking up two days later without Kayden sleeping in the same room is kind of depressing. What’s even more depressing is waking up alone on Christmas morning. I know it sounds crazy, but I even kind of miss my family’s yelling. And the chaos.
But mainly I miss my car, which is sitting at a random gas station in the middle of nowhere Wisconsin. My life is way more dramatic than it was when I played video games with my boyfriend who is probably engaged to some Hanna chick by now.
Pulling myself out of bed, I stumble into my kitchen and glance at the counter where burnt cookies are lying. My eyes shift to the floor, and I notice wet spots leading into the living room. My heart tightens, and right before I let out a blood-curdling scream, I see Dad setting up a Christmas tree in the living room.
“What are you doing here?!” I yell as Mom jumps out of her skin on the couch.
“Julie Anne! You scared me!”
“You’re scared? You broke into my apartment.”
“No,” she says, shaking her head, “your grandma did.” Grandma, Lisa, and Olivia enter the room from the dining area, and I can’t help but smile. “Listen, Jules. I know we’re terrible people. We are all over the place, we make bad decisions, and we yell too much, but we are your family. And your family is going to sit here and spend Christmas with you.”
My eyes fall on the Christmas tree. “It’s beautiful.” I say, moving to the couch with Mom.
“It should be. It’s the one your fake boyfriend cut down. Where is—” Dad starts, but realizes he doesn’t know my fake boyfriend’s name.
“Kayden.”
“Oh, that’s much better than Richard. Where is Kayden?”
I glance at the engagement ring on my finger. I haven’t taken it off, and it’s a pretty embarrassing fact. I don’t know why I keep wearing it, but the idea of taking it off saddens me. “He’s with his family. Where’s Tim? And Danny?”
“Tim is probably in the Alps right now,” Grandma laughs, eating the nasty cookies. “He was an ugly motherfucker, wasn’t he? And he had a small—”
“Mom!” my mother hisses as her cheeks redden from embarrassment at what my grandma almost blurted out. I can’t help but smile at the dysfunctional lives that make up my family. Looking toward Lisa, I arch an eyebrow, wondering where her other half is.
Lisa lifts her daughter and stands near the tree as Olivia hangs some ornaments. “I figured we could use some true Stone family time, without Danny. He’s in LA with his family for a few days.”
“Lisa?” I ask, staring my sister in the eyes. She’s younger than I, but the tiredness in her eyes shows. I wonder how long she has beaten herself up for falling in love with someone who was off limits. “I hate you.”
Her eyebrows perk up and she smiles softly. “You don’t fucking hate me, but you hate me?” I nod. She smiles wider. “Best. Christmas. Ever.”
“Oh, and I got you a new car for Christmas,” Dad says nonchalantly, tossing me a set of keys. “Kayden told me how yours broke down when we were ‘rehearsing’ together.”
“I can’t take—”
“Oh shut up already. Just take the damn car,” Grandma hisses, opening a bottle of wine.
Well, I guess I’m taking the damn car.
There are things I’ve learned about families as a whole. They make mistakes. They say the wrong thing. They fall apart. But the ones who really care? They always try to pick up those pieces and glue them back together. Yeah, there are still cracks and it still hurts, but there are also laughs and love floating around. My family’s broken but in the most amazing way.
I plan to be dysfunctional right along with them forever.
New Year’s Eve comes in, my family flies out, and my apartment is silent again. It feels better than before, being alone. The pine needles on the tree are still fresh, still beautiful, and I know it’s not coming down any time soon.
Heading for Outers Retirement home, I pack up some extra cookies to take to my oldies. When I get there, everyone’s still carrying on as before. Eddie is whispering sweet nothings into Ms. Peterson’s ear. It still smells like candy and liniment, and all is well in the world.