“Well, I hoped it would make you laugh.”
“It does,”he reassured her. “So, does this mean that you’ll run out and get me ice cream whenever I want?”
“Of course. Once, maybe?”
“Wow, did I get the better end of that deal or what?”he teased, laughing.
“Hey, everybody, dinner’s ready,”Ken called from the dining room.
“C’mon, lady, let’s get you to the table,”Michael said as he helped Vicki to her feet.
Throughout dinner, Michael kept rubbing Vicki’s hand gently, unaware of the numerous conversations around him. He loved her so completely and was delighted that they were soon going to be parents together. She was his world. Toward the end of the meal, he noticed she was speaking less, preoccupied and anxious again.
“Are you okay?”he whispered. “Maybe we should have gone straight home after visiting my dad.”
Vicki shook her head. “No, don’t worry about that. I just need some air.”
Samantha noticed them talking quietly. She got up from the far end of the table and walked over to Vicki. She whispered a few words and Vicki nodded.
“We’re going for a drive,”Vicki said.
Michael looked up at her, concerned.
“Don’t worry,”she said, standing up. “Hey, I’ll get you some ice cream if we find a store that’s open.”
She leaned over and kissed him on his cheek. Her hair fell in front of her face and she brushed it back behind her ear.
“Don’t worry. I know everything will be fine. You make me believe that.”
Putting on her heavy wool coat and Black Watch plaid scarf, Vicki said to Samantha, “Let’s use your car. You drive. I’ll talk.”
The rain started to fall harder, pounding the ground. Michael wandered aimlessly, lost in thought.
What have I done? What have I done?
He looked up, letting the rain pelt his face. It felt good. Immediately, Michael put his head down again.
He staggered into a vacant marketplace, seeking shelter from the storm. He flopped down against a wall, letting the rough surface scrape his back. He noticed that his right sandal had torn nearly in two, but he no longer cared.
“My Lord, I’m so sorry,”he repeated over and over.
His shoulders heaved deeply as he shook his head from side to side. “No, no. I can’t believe it. What have I done? Lord, what have I done to you?”
Michael stood up. He slammed his fist into the unrelenting wall. He took off his torn sandal and hurled it across the street.
“Why does it always have to be me? Why did I have to carry that cross?”
He swung his bare foot against the wall but he barely felt the pain. “What have you ever done for me?”he shouted, looking up. “I’ve got no wife. Do you know that? Do you?”
Michael raced across the street and picked up his sandal. He threw it hard against the roof that covered the marketplace. “Your son died, my wife died. I guess we’re even now, huh? Is that what you wanted? Is that what you wanted? Did you? Answer me!”
His screams echoed through the deserted streets.
“Why can’t you answer me, Lord?”he wailed, dropping to his knees in the mud. “Look at me. Look at me! I’m pathetic. You’ve humbled me. Is that what you wanted?”
Bracing himself on his elbows in the middle of the street, his legs sprawled out to the side, Michael sobbed uncontrollably. He didn’t care about the soldiers, his bruises, or his pain. All he knew was that he was alone, and Vicki was never coming back.
Michael stumbled to his feet and staggered over to his torn sandal. As he picked it up, he uttered the only words he had left.
“How can my daughter lift my burden, Lord? Please tell me. Why can’t you lift it?”
The doorbell rang. Peering through the peephole, Michael saw the police officer looking down at his feet. When Michael opened the door, he heard him say, “Evening, sir. I’m Officer Stanton. Is it all right if I come in for a moment?”
Michael’s stomach tightened. “Sure,”he replied, turning and yelling down the hallway, “Ken! Come in here!”
“I’m looking for Kenneth Fontana.”
“That’s me!”called Ken, who raced in from the kitchen.
“I’m afraid there’s been an accident.”Turning to Michael, the policeman asked, “Are you Michael Stewart?”
Michael felt his stomach drop. “Yes.”
“Your sister said you would be here.”
“Is Samantha all right?”Ken asked, moving closer to the officer.
“Yes. She’ll be fine.”
“Thank God!”
“What about Vicki?”Michael asked. “What happened?”
Placing his hand on Michael’s shoulder, the officer said, “You need to come with me to the hospital.”
Michael pushed the officer’s hand away. “What happened? Is she okay? Is she hurt? Tell me. Please, tell me!”
“We need to go now, Mr. Stewart.”
Ken felt Michael look at him and nodded. “I’ll be right behind you, Mike. Let me run the boys over to the Henrys’.”
Michael stayed silent on the ride to the hospital, holding the door handle tightly. The officer had nothing more to say, leaving Michael to his terrible thoughts.
I don’t want to be alone. Oh, Vicki. Oh, Vicki . . . please be okay.
“Mr. Stewart, we’re here,”the officer said, opening his door.
The car had barely pulled up to the emergency-room entrance when Michael jumped out and bolted through the automatic doors. Sammie was standing in the corner. When she saw him, she raced over and fell into his arms crying.
“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry,”she kept repeating through tears.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes, I’m fine.”She pulled away to look at him.
“You’ve got blood on your face.”Michael hugged her again.
“I’m fine. Please, Mike. Please. I’m so sorry.”
Michael whispered, “Please tell me she’s okay.”
Samantha cried harder, pulling away from him.
“I can’t live without her, Sammie,”he begged. “You know that.”
Samantha was silent. After a moment, she whispered to him in a voice far deeper than normal, “She wasn’t conscious when I saw her being taken in.”
“Oh, God, no.”The words seemed to escape him as he stood there, holding his little sister, trying to make her not say what he already knew in his heart. His head fell on her shoulder, and he became aware only of how her heaving sobs kept bobbing his head slowly up, then down. He took a deep breath, then let her go.
He walked over to the nurses’ desk and announced to no one in particular, “My wife, my wife was brought in here a few moments ago. Please . . .”
All other words left him as he waited for someone to answer.
“What’s her name?”one of the nurses asked.
“Vick. Vicki. Victoria Stewart.”
The nurse typed a few words into the computer in front of her before asking, finally, “Mr. Stewart?”
“Yes.”
“Please sit and wait for the doctor to come out.”
Michael turned and found Samantha and Ken directly behind him, holding each other.
Nice, Michael thought.
It felt like only a few seconds later when Michael felt a hand on his sleeve.
“Mr. Stewart? I’m Dr. Brennan. Please come with me out into the hall.”
Without thinking, Michael stood up and followed him blindly to a spot near a water fountain.
The physician turned to him. He looked as if he would rather be anywhere else than in this hallway talking to Michael. “I’m sorry to tell you that we were unable to save your wife. Her injuries were far too grave. But we were able to deliver the baby. You have a girl. She’s doing fine upstairs.”
The doctor said many other things, but Michael heard nothing else. He stood motionless, gazing at the bright ceiling lights. Again, it seemed only seconds before Samantha and Ken were next to him, asking what the doctor had said.
“Vicki . . .”He stopped, unable to continue.
Samantha fell into Michael, hugging him tightly.
After a few moments, he finally looked down at her. “I can’t cry right now. There’s just no time. The baby’s okay. I have to go see my daughter.”