Hope(less) (Judgement of the Six #1)

Sam and I didn’t talk much on the way home with the driver constantly looking back at us. Instead, I watched out the window, waiting expectantly for the rain to start pouring down.

At our stop, Sam stood and exited. He didn’t offer me his hand. He just waited for me to hop down from the last step and then fell in beside me as we made our way down the paved park path.

After only knowing me a short while, he knew I didn’t like to be touched. It wasn’t even that I didn’t like being touched. I didn’t like growing attached. When you touched people, you developed attachments. Then, when they left, it made it even harder to say goodbye.

Although we still had an hour of daylight left, the dark storm clouds writhing in the sky above cast the city into an early dusk. After he’d revealed himself to me, tension drove me to walk quickly through the park. Particularly in the dark. I liked having someone to walk home with me even if that someone had started the whole thing. In his company, I didn’t worry as much.

“You’re certain I won’t disrupt things at home just popping in like this?

“I don’t think you can disrupt it any more than it’s been,” I said. “Barb, my foster mom is pregnant, which really is a good thing. Barb and Tim have been trying to get pregnant for years. So, thinking they’d never have kids of their own, they decided to foster.”

We were halfway across the park and I noticed Sam slowing to give me more time to talk. I hadn’t mentioned any of this to him before. The swings in the abandoned playground to our right started to sway in the increasing winds, their older chains squeaking slightly with each forward swing.

“They own a cute little two bedroom house. If she carries the baby to term, there won’t be enough room, you know?” I kept my eyes focused on the path not wanting to read his expression. “Because she hasn’t yet past her first term, they haven’t notified my social worker.”

I had no regret. I really did feel happy for Barb and Tim and I’d moved around enough in foster care to know the drill. Plus, I counted down the days until I turned eighteen, legally free from anyone’s guardianship.

Sam remained silent beside me.

Leaving the park, we turned right on the sidewalk. The phone in my bag buzzed and I quickly searched for it. The rain still held back, but the sky overhead rumbled ominously. I checked the message and smiled at Sam, “Barb said she’s very excited to meet you and since you and I just ate, they’ll have cake and coffee ready.”

Sam nodded. A fat raindrop splattered on the sidewalk in front of us and without a word, we both started walking faster. When we turned the last suburban corner, I pointed out the Newton’s house to him, not pausing the brisk pace we’d set.

Barb and Tim both stood on the front stoop waiting for us. Tim had his arm wrapped around Barb’s shoulders as he peeked around the awning to look up at the clouds. They greeted Sam enthusiastically and invited him in. I could see Barb sizing him up and finding him acceptable.

In a rare twist, Tim did most the talking that night, asking Sam about himself. When Sam said he originally hailed from Canada and managed the family business, investments, I figured he stuck as close to the truth as possible. They did ask him about my grandpa and he wove a beautiful tale about growing up together. Since I never talked about my grandfather, the Newton’s didn’t know any differently. The skill in which Sam lied made me a little uncomfortable. If he could lie that easily to them, how easy could he lie to me?

The rain stopped before he finished his second cup of coffee. Sam smiled at Barb and said, “The cake and coffee were wonderful. Thank you for letting me drop in like this.” He stood, knees creaking, and extended a hand to Tim. “I won’t over stay my welcome or the coffee.”

Tim clasped Sam hand with a warm smile as the adults all laughed.

Letting go of Tim’s hand, Sam said, “It was a pleasure to meet both of you.”

“We appreciated you stopping in,” Barb replied, already collecting the cups to bring to the sink. “When Gabby said she ran into you, we were both very curious.”

“I can imagine. Now that I found her, I don’t want to lose track of her. If it’s alright, I’d like to stop by now and again to check in on her.”

“We insist you do,” Tim patted Sam back in a manly display of affection as they walked to the front door. I quickly helped Barb put the dishes in the sink so she could follow them. Barb was a little compulsive and couldn’t walk away from a dirty kitchen.

“What about dinner next Wednesday,” Barb asked, raising her voice from the kitchen as she washed and dried her hands at the sink and hurried to the front door where Sam bent to put on his shoes.