I could feel Brace’s gaze on us, and as I shifted my head I found that his hard eyes were locked on Lucas’ face. His jaw was rigid, but so far he hadn’t punched the Emperor in the jaw. So we were doing okay.
I pulled back. “I’m sorry about Ria,” I said to him. My voice cracked. Clearing my throat, I tried again. “I just can’t … I should have been able to do something. I should have saved them.”
Lucas reached out, grasping my biceps, bringing me closer to his downturned face. “We saw what happened, Abby, you did everything you could. You almost died. Ria would have been so proud of you.” The iciness was back in his blue eyes, and I knew he was trying to compartmentalize his pain. “I just wish I’d had time to make things right with her. I chose duty again, and again. And Ria paid the price. It’s too late now, but if I had the choice again, I would not take the same path.”
Lucas was not the same male that I’d first met in this very ballroom. Sure, he was still arrogant and annoying, but his emotional growth was incredible. Everything had changed for him on that day when he’d finally understood that he could have both Ria and me in his life. Both of us had a role, and for a little while there he’d been happy. There wasn’t much happy now, though.
We lingered together for just a few more moments, before I moved back to Brace, Lucy and Colton. Lucas followed and the five of us crossed the space to our fallen loved one.
Lallielle and Josian noticed me at the same time. My mother dashed from where she’d been beside Francesca, and my father – who’d been at the other end of the room beside one of the girls – zoomed across as well. Brace let me go at the last moment, allowing my parents to encase me in their arms.
“You’re grounded for life, Aribella.” Lallielle was holding me so tightly I was worried I might burst. “Forever. You’ll stay here with me, and not leave my side until I recover from almost losing you again.”
I let her hug me hard. I squeezed her back even harder. I had no words. There was too much emotion swirling inside me, but this hug was perfect. The three of us stood there for a long time. Josian still hadn’t said anything. When finally we pulled apart, I tilted my head back to meet those autumn-leaf eyes.
“Dad … are the others …?” I let my words trail off.
He shook his head. “I’ve tried everything I could think of. For some reason their shells remain stable, but there’s no spark of essence inside.”
I couldn’t stop the whimper which escaped me. I had known it, but hearing the words was almost like losing them all over again.
Josian hung his head then. A sense of hopelessness washed over him. “I’m not worthy, baby girl. You had to take on so many extra burdens because of me. I almost lost you because of my weakness. I’m a broken man.”
I shook back my curls, which I’m sure could really use a brush – and some shampoo. Showering had not been high on my list of priorities lately. I was quite gross actually, something which would have been important last week, but today was nothing.
I reached forward and gripped the tightly woven, silky shirt Josian wore. My hands constricted into fists as I pulled him closer into me.
“Don’t blame yourself, and don’t ever say you’re not worthy. You fought with everything. You sacrificed so much. No more pity party.” I was fierce. “We’re alive and won’t sully the memory of those who didn’t make it with regret. We move forward and we celebrate the freedom of all the worlds.”
It was a long speech. Badly worded. But I meant it.
Josian’s god-like features hardened further. His eyes turned even more golden as his emotions took over.
Then finally he nodded. “You’re right, and it’s time to say goodbye to our brave soldiers. They’ll be released with the dawn. Now is the moment for final blessings.”
All of the fight whooshed out of me again. I shook my head a few times, in a reasonably frantic manner.
“I can’t,” I said. “I don’t think I can say … goodbye.” My voice broke on the last word.
Josian kissed me on the cheek. “You’re my brave, perfect baby-girl. You can do this. We’re all here with you, and I think it’ll help you to … heal.”
The crowd around me parted. Brace and Lucy moved to my side, and I reached out and grasped their hands. Just for a moment. Before squeezing tightly and saying, “Give me a minute. I’d like to speak with each of them alone.”
I sensed their reluctance to let me go, but they didn’t argue.
I love you. Brace’s warmth was enough that I found the strength to step forward to the first body.
Francesca looked peaceful. I didn’t have much to say, so I simply thanked her for her sacrifice and whispered a prayer for safe journey to the next world. I asked the Mother of All to watch out for my aunt. I knew she would be okay. She was a soothsayer, already blessed with visions from the gods. Her essence was important in life and death and would be reborn to the future soothsayers. With one last goodbye to my aunt, I moved on.