Death by Engagement (Caribbean Murder Series, Book 12)

As Cindy and Mattheus rode out the storm safely in the hotel, reporters announced the news not only of the hurricane, but of Cindy’s incredible bravery. Single-handedly, she’d stopped what could have become a serial killer, exposing herself to all kinds of dangers. Cindy was declared a heroine, and as the news belted on, Mattheus kept agreeing.

Exhausted, Cindy was deeply relieved at having caught Shari’s killer, but didn’t feel much like a heroine. All of that was irrelevant to her. There were other matters at hand that had to be tended to now.

“You’re incredible, you’re a heroine,” Mattheus kept repeating, as they sat together on the couch, listening to the torrential rain fall.

“I’m not interested in being a heroine,” Cindy finally replied, “just in being true to myself.”

“You are true to yourself,” Mattheus responded. “You always were.”

“And I have to keep living that way,” Cindy replied.

“Cindy, you have to forgive me for not have been on board with you through all of this,” Mattheus said staunchly. “I was a fool, I was wrong.”

“It’s not a matter of forgiving or not forgiving,” Cindy replied sadly, “it’s a matter of understanding. We have to truly understand each other, Mattheus, and we have to understand ourselves.”

“Better words could not be spoken,” Mattheus agreed promptly.

“You were thinking of breaking off our engagement, weren’t you?” Cindy decided to confront the matter directly.

“Yes, I was,” Mattheus admitted sorrowfully. “I was nuts, I was crazy, all kinds of old fears came up.”

“What happens if we go through this again after we’re married?” Cindy was scared. “Say you want to get out all of a sudden then, too?”

Mattheus grew silent and when Cindy looked over at him, seemed to be pondering the question deeply.

“Can anyone guarantee every minute of their lives?” he finally replied. “Shouldn’t we look at the overall picture, instead? Sometimes I mess up, sometimes you do, too. Is that a reason to break off a basically wonderful relationship?”

“You’re the one who wanted to break it off,” Cindy quickly reminded him, “not me. You’re the one who left during the beginning of a storm and didn’t tell me where you were going, or if you’d be coming back!”

“I’m very, very sorry,” Mattheus repeated again. “That’s not at all like me, is it?”

“Not until up to now,” Cindy said. “But things are heating up now, the marriage is closer, other sides of you may be coming out?”

“Cindy, this was an unusual trip and lots of things upset me,” Mattheus confessed. “We came down for a vacation and to find a wedding venue. I was totally excited about every bit of it. Then, suddenly, before I knew it, you were swept away, working again full time. You didn’t pay one bit of attention to how I felt about it, either.”

“But I was right, wasn’t I? Shari’s death wasn’t a suicide, she was murdered, pushed off the cliff.” Cindy felt agitated. “Thank God I stopped Doug before he continued.”

“Yes, you’re right, it was awful,” Mattheus agreed. “But there are murders happening every day, every minute. Can we take them all on? Should we? Doesn’t there have to be sacred time that belongs to us only?”

“Even when someone is killed in front of our eyes?” Cindy asked.

“Even then,” said Mattheus solemnly. “Think about it.”

“What should we do? Close our eyes and pretend it’s not happening?” asked Cindy.

“I didn’t say that,” said Mattheus, “I just asked if we can’t have time of our own that can’t be violated. That’s an important question, Cindy.”

“Yes, it is, I recognize that,” she replied.

“We really have to think about it. Don’t we also deserve a life of our own? Is it all right for one person to say yes to a case when the other doesn’t want to, when they have important plans as a couple?”

Cindy sighed. It wasn’t so black and white, of course; Mattheus could have all kinds of justifications, but still she felt deeply he let her down.

“I know I let you down,” Mattheus continued, once again, sensing her thoughts. “But I felt let down as well.”

“I realize that,” said Cindy, relieved to hear him being honest.

“I felt hurt by your family,” Mattheus went on, “really hurt.”

“I’m sorry, Mattheus,” said Cindy.

“I know you are, but they scare me,” he continued.

“They’re still my family, aren’t they? Are you asking me to give them up?” she said.

Mattheus looked out of the window at the rain that seemed endless. “Of course I’m not,” he finally said.

“But you did,” said Cindy. “You said I had to choose between you and them. You even took the liberty of speaking for me, telling them we could only talk to them as a couple. That’s over the edge.”

“Yes, it is.” Mattheus closed his eyes. “But they pushed me to it.”

“I know,” Cindy replied.