As Ellie approached the edge of her driveway she was suddenly glad she’d decided to walk the twenty minutes across town instead of calling a cab or Josh to pick her up. She’d spent the time seriously thinking about what she wanted to say to Luke, and as she hurried up the front walk she knew it was time to tell him the truth.
The black SUV in the driveway told her Luke was still there, but fortunately Josh’s rental car was gone.
When she entered the house, she found Luke in the living room, sitting on the couch and absently flipping through a Sports Illustrated magazine. He lifted his head when he heard her come in. “Welcome back.”
She glanced around the room. “Where’s Josh?”
“He had some errands to take care of.”
“Did you two fight?”
“I got a nice verbal beating. But after I made Josh understand the situation, he gracefully gave me his blessing and left. He said to kiss you goodbye, by the way.”
Josh had given him his blessing? Blessing for what?
Fiddling with the hem of her T-shirt, she dropped into the nearby recliner and bit her lip. “What exactly did Josh bless?”
“Us.”
She ignored the way her heart skipped a beat. “Us?”
Getting up, he languidly strolled toward her. “I told Josh I love you.”
Despite the fact that she was sitting down, she nearly keeled over. “What?”
He stroked her palm with his fingers. “You heard me. I told him I love you. And it’s the truth.” He leaned down and kissed her hand. “I’ll be honest, Elenore. You drive me crazy. Sometimes you make me want to tear my own hair out.”
“Thank you?”
He chuckled. “But in spite of that, I love you.”
“I can’t believe you’re saying this. I don’t know what…” Her voice trailed off.
“C’mere,” he grumbled, pulling her into his arms.
She molded against him, savoring the feel of his strong embrace and the soft kisses he planted on her lips. Closing her eyes, she tried to lose herself in his tender touch. He gently pushed her onto her back, trailing his mouth down her neck, lifting her shirt so that he could kiss her stomach.
“Why didn’t you tell me about the baby?”
His question sent a jolt of shock thundering through her, and she sat up abruptly, pushing his hand away. “What?”
He reached out again and touched her cheek. “Josh told me about the miscarriage.”
“I…” Unable to speak, she stumbled backwards, trying to place some distance between them.
“If it hurts to talk about it, you don’t have to. I was just surprised, that’s all. I never knew you were pregnant.”
“Well, I was,” she snapped.
He dropped his hand. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought it up.”
Seeing the hurt flickering in his eyes, her face softened. “No. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you.” She drew a long breath. “It’s just really painful talking about it.”
“I understand.” He paused, looking hesitant. “You’ll have another child someday, Ellie. And you’ll be a wonderful mother.”
She nearly choked on her bitterness. “Luke…”
“No, let me say this.” He swallowed. “I know I can be a jerk, stubborn at times, maybe a little overbearing. But I promise you, I’m going to spend the rest of my life making you happy. I want us to make a life together. A family. I want to give you a child. I know it won’t make up for the one you lost, but…”
“Luke…stop.” She swallowed hard, trying not to look at his earnest eyes. “I don’t think we should be talking about this right now.”
“Why the hell not?”
“Because I’m not ready for it. I can’t make any commitments right now.”
Again he said, “Why the hell not?”
“Because I’m too confused.”
“About me? You think I don’t mean what I’m saying?”
“I know you mean it.” She drew in a long breath. “This has nothing to do with whether or not you mean it. It has to do with me.” She shook her head, suddenly feeling frustrated. “Dancing was my entire life, and now I can’t do it anymore. And the accident…I lost more than my baby, Luke. I had a hysterectomy.”
He faltered. “You did?”
She nodded, and the sadness that creased Luke’s strong features was like a knife twisting in her heart. “I can’t have kids. I can’t dance. I can’t think about moving on with my life without reliving all that pain, Luke.”
“I can help you through it.”
“You can’t. It’s something I need to do on my own. I thought coming here, running away from everything, was the answer, but it’s not.” She sighed. “You and Josh are right. I need to go home and figure out what the hell I’m going to do now that my career is shot to hell.”
“Why do you need to figure it out alone?” he asked, looking frustrated.
“Because I don’t want to burden you with my problems. Sleeping with you is one thing, but I’m not about to drag you into the process of putting my life back together.”
“So what, you think you’re protecting me by sparing me from your problems?”
She bit her lip. “Well…yeah.”
A short silence fell over the room, and then Luke did something she wasn’t expecting, not in the least.
He burst out laughing.