Damaged and the Outlaw (Damaged #4)

“Would you cry if I said yes?”


Rolling my eyes, I felt the heat of jealousy in my gut. I didn’t expect Raven to be a virgin. In fact, I was thrilled she wasn’t since I was too lazy to train chicks. I might not care that she’d fucked guys before, but I didn’t want those guys to be my boss or friends.

“I had boyfriends in high school and I don’t cheat. Cooper was hot, but he wanted a bang and hang chick. I wanted to fall in love and have a man save me.”

“Save you from what?” I asked in a low tense voice, imagining the horrors of shitty stepdads and their wandering eyes.

“I don’t know,” Raven said and I believed her. “I don’t like having anyone tell me what to do and I feel strong enough to survive on my own. Still, I wanted to be the damsel saved by my knight. It was stupid, but I kept thinking each guy was the one to make me happy. I’d latch on and they’d suck and I’d ignore it. They say love makes people blind, but I think it’s just desperation. I was desperate to be in love, so I was blind to anything that might interfere with my fantasy.”

“What changed?”

“I realized love is overrated.”

“It really is.”

Raven smiled in a soft way that made me want to touch her. I thought about reaching out and caressing her cheek. Just a minor gesture of affection, but I sensed she would know it meant more. Raven would rebel at the idea of true intimacy. Then, I would rebel at her telling me I was whipped. It wouldn’t end well, so I kept my hands to myself.

“I love Lark and I’m going to love her babies. One day, I’ll love Aaron. He’ll be like a brother. For now, he’s the guy I’m waiting to fail her.”

“Aaron’s a good guy.”

“I know. It’s not him that makes me worry. It’s every man before him. Aaron is great and Lark smiles so much when he’s around. Not that fake smiling shit either. She really smiles. She laughs too. A lot. Even as sick as she is lately, she’ll laugh at these looks he gives her. That kind of love feels weird to me. Feels like a lie, but Lark isn’t a fool and I trust in her and Aaron.”

“It isn’t easy being on the outside,” I admitted. “Judd and I were tight. We spent a shitload of time together. Not talking or having feelings, but I had someone to sit next to me and drink beer with. We played pool every night and had sex with different chicks every night and woke up alone every morning. We were the same. Now, he’s whipped and Tawny walks around with his balls in her purse. I asked once if we could take his balls out occasionally and let them breathe, but she just laughed. Tawny’s sneaky that way.”

A giggling Raven reached across the table and caressed my hand. Even though I sensed she was fucking with me, I enjoyed the feel of her.

“I’d ask why you don’t want to be whipped, but I sense there’s a long heartfelt story behind it and I’ll feel sorry for you and I’m not really in the mood to feel pity. Maybe after a few more orgasms, I can fake sympathy. We’re just not there yet, champ.”

“I like that nickname,” I said, taking her hand between mine. “Stud works too. King Cock is another favorite.”

“How about Cock-A-Doodle-Doo?

“Too cartoony. I need something manlier. Cockinator.”

Laughing, Raven yanked her hand away. “How about Robo Cock or White Cock Down? Ooh, Cockageddon.”

“Independence Cock,” I suggested, laughing as I drank my juice. “Cock Hard or Cocky. You know the third one where Cocky goes to Russia.”

Raven snorted. “Cocks on a Plane. No, Planet of the Cocks.”

“Kindergarten Cock,” I said and Raven balked. “Did I take that too far?”

“Perv. Oh, how about World War C?”

“Too subtle.”

“Iron Cock or Cock of Steel. You know, if you’re interested in the superhero route.”

“Star Trek and superheroes. I sense the nerd is strong in this one.”

“Fuck off. I saw the videogames at your stag shack.”

“Wanna come over and play sometime?” I asked, giving her a wink. “Then, after we’re done playing, we can do that videogame thing you mentioned.”

“Hang out time like you shared with Judd?”

Expression hardening, I glared at her. “I never fucked Judd.”

“Why? He’s hot.”

Unable to keep up the fa?ade, I laughed. “He’s a pretty fucker, ain’t he?”

“Oh, yeah,” she sighed and I stopped laughing. Raven noticed and it was her turn to laugh. “He’s got those beautiful eyes.”

“They’re beady rat eyes.”

“He’s so strong.”

“Puny girly man.”

Raven licked her lips. “I bet he hung too.”

I showed her my pinkie finger. “He’s barely this big when hard.”

“And how do you know that if you two never fucked?”

“Fine, we fucked, but we were pretty drunk and he is really pretty.”