Nick pulled me against him. “Nothing ever changes. I thought I could change, but I’m still the loser from the trailer.”
“No, you’re not,” I soothed. “You were never a loser. You were a kid who lived with a loser. He’s the same fuck you grew up with and you’re the same good kid who deserved better. Now you can have it all, but you need space. I’m being understanding about that.”
“I love you.”
Gazing into his eyes, I saw exhaustion more than steely certainty.
“I don’t want you to go back to that apartment,” I whispered. “You didn’t feel safe there. I think you should stay here and I’ll sleep at the house. This place makes you feel safe.”
Nick stared at me for what felt like forever before speaking. “I didn’t think when I saw him. I reacted in a stupid way and it would have gone really bad if not for Dylan and you. All the stuff I worked for since moving to Ellsberg would have been pissed away because I’m my father’s son. He’s an idiot and so am I.”
“You want to be away from me for five seconds, so yeah, you’re a little stupid,” I teased and Nick tried to smile. “You’re not stupid like him. He came here and called me a slut. The guy is lucky he’s only in jail.”
“He’ll get out. I threw the first punch.”
“That’s not what I’ll tell the sheriff. Winnie either. I don’t care about lying.”
“You shouldn’t have to lie.”
Studying his face, I suddenly saw the world the way Nick did. “You’re not alone anymore. You don’t know what being part of something means or you’d know that I lie for my family and friends all the time. The other day, Raven asked me if I thought she’d be hot pregnant. I told her no, even though she probably will. I just thought her ego was getting too big and I wanted to help her remain grounded. See, lying for those you love is okay. It’s what we do.”
Nick glanced around like he didn’t know if he ought to remain in my arms or make a run for it.
“Dylan helped you because you’re not alone. My family and the club will make sure your dad doesn’t hassle you again because you’re their responsibility. That’s how life is now, Nick. You’re part of a family and everything that comes with.”
Nick nuzzled his lips against my head. “I don’t want to leave you, but I feel toxic while you feel so clean and perfect.”
“I really am perfect, so trust that I know what’s best. Staying with me is the answer to all your problems.”
Nick finally smiled a little. “I know the men in your family are badasses, but I feel like a scared kid since I saw that piece of shit today. The feeling started as a small lump in my gut. Now I can’t feel anything else.”
Reaching around, I grabbed his ass gently and squeezed. “Do you feel that?”
“Bailey, I’m being serious.”
“I’ve had a stressful day. I took that test and nearly shot a loser in the face. I really feel like only a good fuck will settle me down.”
Nick glanced at the bedroom then back at me. “I don’t know if it’ll help, but it probably can’t hurt.”
I ran my finger over his swollen lip. “We’ll go slow and take our time since you’re banged up. We might have to go all night though.”
Nick smiled, but his eyes were tired in a way I’d never seen them. Despite his affections, I sensed the rest of the night he wasn’t really with me, but rather back in the parking lot reliving the beat down with his dad.
Chapter Thirty Four ~ Nick
Holding onto Bailey all night, I felt as if she alone kept my past away. At breakfast, I pressed my leg against hers under the table while we ate with her family. Sawyer was in a lively mood, bouncing around while describing a school project she nailed.
The plan after eating was to return to the apartment with Bailey until time for class. Instead, Kirk stood up and studied his oldest daughter.
“Bay, go with your mom to drop off Sawyer at school. Nick and I need to talk.”
“About what?” she asked, jumping up like maybe she’d challenge him.
Kirk only smirked. “Go.”
Bailey lost all her fire and turned into a little girl before my eyes. “Pop,” she whimpered.
“It’s fine,” I said while standing up to follow Kirk outside.
Bailey grabbed for her father’s arm and stared up at him. “Don’t be mean.”
Kirk rolled his eyes. “You’re too old for such drama. Now go help your mom clean up before you leave.”