He cupped my cheek with his free hand and tilted my chin up.
"Because I shouldn’t do this," he whispered.
And then he kissed me.
The moment his lips crushed against mine, a fierce blast of heat coursed through my body, igniting a delicious, burning ache in my belly.
Unable to think straight, let alone breathe, I did the only thing I could do given the circumstance: I reached up and grabbed his forearms and kissed him back.
This was my first real kiss, minus the disaster in his bedroom, and I had no idea what I was doing.
I only knew that I never wanted him to stop.
When I felt one of his hands trail down my arm and settle on my hip, I lost it.
I completely and utterly took leave of my senses.
Shivering uncontrollably, I let my back sag against the doorframe as my hips thrust closer to him.
I was drowning in my feelings as they crashed through me like a wrecking ball.
The more he kissed me, the more my body trembled uncontrollably.
The more I sought.
I moaned into his mouth when I felt the tip of his tongue trace against my bottom lip.
Realizing he was waiting for me to open my mouth for him, I parted my lips and held my breath when I felt his tongue slip inside my mouth.
Gently, he touched his tongue against mine in slow, patient strokes.
Oh, God.
Oh, sweet baby Jesus.
I was kissing Johnny Kavanagh.
Johnny Kavanagh was kissing me back.
He had his tongue in my mouth, his hand in my hair, and my heart in his pocket.
This was…
This was…
Everything I had never expected and more.
Uncertain, I tentatively snaked my tongue out and stroked his.
Johnny rewarded me with a low, approving growl that came from somewhere deep within his chest.
Trembling, I wrapped my arms around his waist and tugged him closer to me, unsure of what I was doing, but knowing that my body needed more.
My confidence grew with every brush of our lips, with every massaging duel of our tongues, until I was purring in his arms, rocking my body against him impatiently, as we moved clumsily to the closest bench.
How was this happening?
Why was this happening?
I didn’t know.
I didn’t know and I didn’t care.
Johnny staggered backwards and sank down hard on the wooden bench.
The impact caused a grunt of pain to rip from his chest, but he never took his lips off mine as he tossed his crutch away and pulled me between his legs.
His hands moved from my face to my waist, clamping down hard, and the move caused a moan to tear from my throat.
He responded to my small gasp of surprised pleasure with a low growl of approval of his own.
"Are you okay?" I breathed against his lips as I held onto his shoulders.
"Just keep kissing me," he strangled out. "I want you so much."
I shivered violently. "You do?"
"So fucking much," he groaned against my lips, and then his hands were on my thighs, his fingers hiking my fitted skirt up to pool at my hips before pulling me down on his lap, encouraging me to straddle him.
Conscious of his injury, I hitched one thigh on either side of him and hovered over his lap, keeping my weight off him, as I cupped his beautiful face between my small hands and kissed him back with everything I had in me.
Johnny shivered into my touch, but I didn’t pull back.
I couldn’t help myself.
I wanted to touch his face.
I wanted to touch him everywhere.
"Am I doing it right?" I breathed against his lips, feeling achingly aware of my inexperience.
"More than right," he assured me, claiming my mouth once again.
"This is my first kiss," I moaned against his lips.
"You're fucking perfect," he assured me, filling my mouth with his hot tongue.
Falling back into a deep, drugging kiss, I allowed myself to relax and absorb the sensations jolting through me.
He felt so good.
His lips were so soft.
His body was so hard.
His smelled so nice.
He tasted so sweet.
I was drowning in feelings.
Unable to stop myself, I snaked a hand through his wet hair and tugged.
He rewarded my bravery with a low growl as he clamped his hands on my hips and dragged me down on his lap at the same time he thrust his hips upwards.
Gasping into his mouth, I went willingly, too consumed in the intoxicatingly delicious feel of his body pressed against mine to contemplate that this could be hurting him.
He was clearly enjoying this.
I could feel his enjoyment as he strained against me.
Nestling between my legs, Johnny didn’t push for more.
Instead, he continued to kiss me with hot, swiping flicks of his tongue, ruining me with his mouth alone.
He was making me hot and achy all over.
Losing the run of myself, and chasing pressure, I mewled into his mouth and sank down hard on his lap.
Johnny grunted into my mouth and I froze, suddenly aware of his injury.
"Am I hurting you?" I asked against his lips.
"Only if you stop." He knotted his hand in the back of my hair and deepened the kiss.
I think I'm in love with you.
I think I'm falling.
Please don’t hurt me.
Please don’t ever hurt me.
My mind was racing with crazed, lust-induced thoughts all directed at Johnny.
I couldn’t seem to stop myself from falling over the edge of emotional suicide.
I was starving for him.
Ravenous.
I needed this boy.
I was desperate for him.
I ached and I yearned and I admitted that now, with an open mind and a vulnerable heart.
The more I rocked against him, the more he encouraged me to move, pulling on my hips, grinding our bodies together.
I was so caught up in our kiss that I didn’t hear the changing room door open and close, and I was only vaguely aware of someone clearing their throat.
It was only when Coach Mulcahy said, "I see you're feeling better," that reality came crashing down on me with a tremendous bang.
"Fuck," Johnny groaned into my mouth.
Startled, I broke the kiss and tried to scramble off Johnny's lap.
Tried being the appropriate word because Johnny caught ahold of my hand and pulled me back to him.
When he reached down and adjusted my skirt, pushing it back down, I almost died on the mortal spot.
"Inappropriate behavior on school grounds, Kavanagh," Coach Mulcahy snapped, casting glaring looks at both of us. "What the hell is wrong with you?"
My gaze landed on the two amused looking paramedics standing behind Coach, and I whimpered loudly.
"We're not on school grounds, Sir," Johnny replied calmly as he pulled me down to sit beside him.
"You're on school time," Coach barked.
"Actually, we're not," Johnny countered, taking my hand in his.
I was incredibly grateful for his touch in this moment.
It was grounding and steadying and stopped me from anxious puking.
Something I was known for doing.
"It's half nine at night," Johnny added with a shrug. "Well past school hours."
"It's inappropriate behavior," Coach bellowed, turning a furious glare on us. "Don’t give me technicalities. You're both under eighteen." Clearly furious, he added, "I'll have to report this to Mr. Twomey and your parents."
"Oh, god," I strangled out, panicked. "Please don’t tell."
"A kiss?" Johnny sneered, tightening his hold on my trembling hand. "You're going to report a fucking kiss?" He laughed humorlessly. "Take a walk down the aisle of that bus, Coach. Pretty sure you'll find worse than kissing going on."
"You are a minor student who was alone with a fellow minor student in a dressing room," the teacher replied hotly. "In an extremely compromising position." Coach turned to me then. "Is that the kind of reputation you want starting off at Tommen, Miss Lynch?" he demanded. "Do you want to be one of those girls?"
Tears pricked my eyes and I quickly shook my head.
"Hey – don’t talk to her like that," Johnny snapped, leaning forward, shielding me from Mr. Mulcahy's view.