Best Laid Plans

I pick myself up, shower, and change my clothes.

I can’t wallow all day. I’m a doer. So, I do. Grabbing the book I brought home last night, I head to my car and drive over to Gabe’s mom’s house. When she answers, I flash a smile. “Hi, Mrs. Harrison.”

“Hey, Arden, good to see you. Want to come in? Gabe’s not here.”

“That’s okay. I was looking for you anyway.”

“You were?”

I lean in close, whispering conspiratorially, “Don’t tell the Bookstore Police.”

Her blue eyes sparkle, just like his. “Oh! More top secret goodies.”

I hand her the Robert Galbraith, adding my best everything is fine smile. “Just for you.”

She clutches the treasure to her chest. “I’m diving in today.” Then she wraps her arms around me. “You’re such a wonderful friend to my son. What would I do without you?”

Her words are my reminder. This is why I did what I did. To preserve what we’ve had.

Our friendship is a gift, and I treasure it the same way I do words and stories.

As I walk away, I tell myself giving up the chance for more has to be worth it.





39





Gabe





Some things stay the same.

The day after she turns me down, I run. I cut across town, tuning into a Surprise Me playlist on Google Play.

I make a path past the springs, toward the hill, and right to Silver Phoenix Lake as a song from the Heartbreakers comes on.

“About a Girl.”

Some tune about how men will change their lives for a girl.

I shake my head. “No shit.”

The line about falling hard and changing everything is a slap in the face.

“I did fall hard,” I mutter. “I wanted to change everything.”

I run up the trail, running past the spot where I found Arden more than a year ago, flashing back to that fateful day.

I should have known then I’d wind up right where I am—with an aching in my chest. I should have known because whatever feelings I’d already had for her—the crush that kicked in the first time I met her—didn’t vacate when I saw snot running down her nose. When I witnessed her tears for another man. The way I felt for her only intensified.

She was crying in her crackers then, and I still found her endearing.

Kind.

Clever.

And beautiful.

After eight punishing miles of trying to drain my thoughts of her, I do what I did that day. I run to my parents’ house. As I turn the corner to their block, a red car fades in the distance, cruising the other way.

Her car?

Hell, that’s a crazy thought.

Must be another red car.

When I go inside, my mom waves from the couch. “Do not disturb. I’m reading the new Robert Galbraith.”

“Isn’t that out on—?”

Before I say Tuesday, I know Arden was here, stopping by to give my mom a gift. My chest hollows, a big gaping hole that I wish I could fill with how I feel for her. If she keeps being herself, she’s going to make it awfully hard to get over her.

I head to the kitchen, and when my dad offers me a coffee, he asks what’s going on with her.

“Nothing. That’s the trouble. She only wants to be friends.”

He pats me on the back. “Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. Sometimes the girl you want doesn’t feel the same.”

That’s the whole sad, sorry truth.





40





Arden





“I’m looking for a book.”

I turn away from the shelf of travel guides to a thin man wearing a straw hat.

“Anything in particular?” I try my best to feign cheeriness on Saturday morning. I’m the happy, happy bookstore owner today and every goddamn day, even though there’s an organ in my chest moping over a guy I can’t have.

The man in the hat strokes his goatee. “Can’t remember the name. It’s about a fireman who has special powers . . .”

He talks more about the story, but I latch onto one word, thinking of a certain fireman and all his special powers. His charm, his heart, his funny bone. He has so many more powers though. The power to make me feel like I’m special. Like I’m wonderful.

“Do you know it?”

I blink, trying to root myself in the present. “I . . .”

I can’t place the book he’s talking about.

A voice cuts in. A chipper, confident one. “You mean Joe Hill’s The Fireman. Yes, we have it in stock,” Madeline says, tipping her head to that section and guiding the customer there. She easily locates the novel and rings him up.

When he’s gone, she turns to me. “Are you okay?”

“Just a little off today.”

“Go take a walk or something. You’re not yourself.”

“Maybe I just need to clear my head.”

“Take a break for a few. I have this covered.”

I turn to go and step outside when I see Mr. Businessman heading in my direction.

I freeze.

He’s the reason I went to Gabe in the first place. Is he coming back to try to ask me on a date again? What do I say?

I’m not sure I’ll handle it any better this time around, even though the smile on his face expands as he walks toward me.





41





Gabe





Another rep. And another. On the weight bench, I make it through more reps than usual.

“Damn, are you hitting the juice?” Shaw asks as we go through our morning workout.

“Yeah, just like I did back in Texas.”

“Ah, I always suspected you were a ’roid head in your playing days.”

“That’s me.” My voice is pure monotone.

“How did it go with your lady the other night? Didn’t get to ask.”

I finish my set, sit up, and scratch my jaw. “Let’s see. On a scale of one to ten, it was a negative fifty.”

“Ouch. That bad?” Shaw switches to the bench, and I move behind, spotting him.

“She gave me my official let’s be friends forever card.”

“Damn. And you told her how you felt?” He pushes up the weights. “You told her everything?”

I shrug, keeping my hands near the bar. “Pretty sure.”

“Pretty sure?”

“I asked her to go out. That’s clear, isn’t it? Like on a date?”

His eyes widen as he raises the weights again, wincing, then lowering. “And you told her you’ve had it bad for her for a year?”

“I told her I’ve wanted her for a long time.”

“Wanted?”