Some Girls Do

Chapter Twelve




The following day was mild and sunny, and Claire met Catherine for lunch in Merrion Square Park. It was close to Bookends and the shop had been quiet, so Tom had told her she could take her time.

‘How did it go with Mark?’ Catherine asked, pulling a foil-wrapped roll and a bottle of mineral water from her bag. They were sitting on plastic chairs at the edge of a group of mothers and wriggling, squealing toddlers, who were watching the end of a puppet show. It was part of an all-day children’s event in the park that Catherine was attending as research for a piece she had been commissioned to write on sponsored children’s activities. Paddington was parked beside her in another brand-new state-of-the-art buggy.

‘Great,’ Claire said, as she unwrapped her sandwich on her knee. ‘It went really well.’

Catherine turned to look at her closely. ‘Really?’ she said, her eyes lighting up, and Claire knew that her smile spoke volumes. ‘So, is he as nice as he seems on Twitter?’


‘Yeah, he’s lovely. And it’s official – I have a book deal.’

‘Oh, my God, next time we have to have champagne. Anyway, congratulations!’ Catherine picked up her bottle of mineral water from the grass and bumped it against Claire’s.

‘Thanks.’ Claire took a bite of her sandwich.

‘And was there flirting?’

Claire smiled and nodded as she chewed. When she had swallowed, she said, ‘There might even have been some kissing.’

Catherine’s eyes widened. ‘Wow, get you!’

‘We met up again on Sunday and hung out until it was time for him to go. It was really nice.’

‘So you managed to pull off the sassy thing, then?’

‘A bit. Yvonne gave me lots of flirting tips, but I didn’t use them much. Mostly I was just myself – or maybe a slightly pimped-up version of myself.’

‘Well, it obviously worked.’

‘Yeah. He – he kind of asked me up to his room when we went back to his hotel for a drink.’

‘The cheeky bugger!’

‘He said he doesn’t usually move that fast,’ Claire said defensively, ‘but he felt like we’d already known each other a long time. It was like that for me too.’

‘So, did you go?’

‘No. I was tempted, but it would have been kind of obvious that I didn’t have a clue what I was doing. My cover would have been blown.’

‘Mm, I see what you mean. That’s a pity. You finally meet a man you like and he’s off-limits.’

‘Only temporarily, I hope. I really do like him. And I think he likes me too. He asked me over to London for a weekend.’

‘To stay with him?’

Claire nodded. ‘I’m going to try to get over while Mum’s still in the nursing home.’

‘So, what are you going to do? I mean, you can’t keep fending him off for ever.’

‘I wouldn’t want to. But I told him I have a five-date rule.’

‘A five-date rule,’ Catherine mused. ‘I didn’t know people really did that.’

‘Apparently they do. So I can date him for a while, get to know him better, without sex being an issue. And in the meantime I’m going to get some practice.’

Catherine almost choked on her sandwich. ‘Practice?’ she croaked when she had recovered. ‘Please tell me you’re not going to start trawling bars and picking up strange men.’

Claire shook her head. ‘I already have someone lined up to practise on. He’s a friend of Yvonne’s. I met him at a party last week. So it’s all perfectly safe and above board.’

‘Blimey! Does this guy know he’s a sort of coach, training you up for the big occasion?’

‘Oh, yeah. I was completely upfront with him about it. He knows the whole story and he’s fine with it. He’s a total man-whore – shags anything that moves, I gather. He’s broke, so I’m paying him to … teach me.’

Catherine looked at her in slack-jawed silence. ‘Let me get this straight,’ she said finally. ‘You – Claire Kennedy – are going to pay a guy to have sex with you. When you bust out of that shell, you don’t do it by halves, do you?’

‘Oh, believe me, this isn’t easy for me,’ Claire said, with a shaky smile. ‘I’m not looking forward to it, but it’s a means to an end.’ She was dreading it, in fact. It would be beyond awkward, but she would try not to think about it too much, and after she’d got through it, she’d never have to see Luca again. She could put the whole episode behind her and forget about it.

‘We’re starting tomorrow night,’ she said, feeling the stirring of nerves in her stomach at the thought of it.

‘Well, good luck!’

Just then, Claire’s phone pinged with a message. She pulled it out of her bag, feeling a little glow of pleasure when she saw it was from Mark: What are you wearing?

She smiled to herself as she texted back: A lot of green and a little mayonnaise. Lunch in the park = challenging! #eatingdisorder

His reply came back a moment later: I bet you look adorable in it. Just wanted to let you know your offer letter is being drawn up. Everyone here very excited about publishing Scenes. Must dash. x

‘Sorry,’ she said to Catherine as she typed a quick reply: Yay! Excited too. x

‘That’s okay,’ Catherine said. ‘Was that him?’

‘Yes. They’re getting my official offer ready,’ Claire said, as she put her phone back into her bag. Mark’s text had come at just the right time, reminding her why she was putting herself through the ordeal with Luca. It would be worth it if she could be with Mark in the end.

The puppet show ended to a round of applause and the crowd began to disperse, children leaping from their seats and tearing towards the playground while harried mothers were still gathering up all their paraphernalia.

‘Doesn’t Paddy want a go on the swings?’ Claire asked, nodding towards the buggy.

‘No, he’s a bit tired. It’s been a long day. I’ll bring him home for a nap soon.’ She drained her mineral water and screwed the lid back on, dropping the empty bottle into a plastic bag. ‘Those kids are all hyped up on sugar,’ she said, nodding to the children charging towards the playground while their mothers trotted after them, juggling change bags and juice cups while trying to manoeuvre empty pushchairs across the grass. ‘The evil geniuses behind this event were handing out free fizzy drinks all day. I didn’t let Paddy have any.’

‘You’re such a good mother.’

‘Well, I’m lucky that Paddy doesn’t put up any resistance. If he was constantly wheedling me like that lot, I’d probably have him on a drip of the stuff.’

‘Is that another freebie?’ Claire nodded to the buggy.

‘Yeah.’ Catherine looked down at the buggy with its space-age design. ‘Bit wanky, isn’t it? But apparently it’s the must-have item for the toddler-about-town, these days.’

Claire scrunched up her sandwich wrapping. ‘I’d better get back,’ she said, dropping it into the plastic bag that Catherine held out for her.

They gathered up their things, and strolled towards the gate.

‘Do you want one of these?’ Catherine asked her, nodding down at Paddington.

‘A teddy bear? I have one at home somewhere.’

Catherine smiled. ‘No, a child.’

‘Oh.’ They paused by a bin near the exit and Catherine threw in the bag with their rubbish.

‘Yeah,’ Claire said thoughtfully, as they continued walking. ‘I guess. I mean, not right now. But I’ve always seen myself having children eventually. You?’

‘No, I don’t think so. I’d be undecided, but Hazel is a definite no, so …’

‘What if you were with someone who definitely wanted them?’

‘Then I guess I’d go along with it. I don’t really have strong feelings either way. And I’d already have all the equipment. My kid would never be short of a designer change bag or a state-of-the-art car seat.’

‘Yes, shame to let all that free stuff go to waste.’

‘Well, I’ll pass it along to you if you decide to go down that road. In the meantime, it keeps my eBay account nicely ticking along.’

They stopped on the path outside the gate before going their separate ways.


‘Well, good luck tomorrow night,’ Catherine said. ‘Don’t do anything I wouldn’t—’ She stopped abruptly and laughed. ‘No, that would defeat the whole purpose, wouldn’t it?’

‘It kind of would.’

‘And we already know you won’t be good, so I’ll just say be careful. And have fun.’

‘Thanks. I’ll try.’


On Thursday, Luca kept an eye on the clock as he worked. He knew how easy it was for him to lose all track of time when he really got stuck into working on a piece. But as Claire was coming over he downed tools at five on the dot and busied himself trying to make his shithole of a flat a bit more cheery and welcoming. It seemed the least he could do when she was paying him so much money. His place had never bothered him before, but the contrast with the comfort of her home could hardly have been more stark. When he had washed up, he cleaned the table and did a quick run-around with the vacuum that was stashed in a cupboard by the door. He couldn’t remember if he’d ever used it before.

Then he turned his attention to the bedroom. He turned on the light and stood in the doorway, surveying it objectively. Lit by a bare bulb in the centre of the room – he’d never even bothered to get a shade for it – it didn’t look fit for a dog to sleep in. Maybe he should have taken her up on her offer to go to a hotel, he thought, as he began to strip the bed. But he felt bad enough about taking her money as it was. He didn’t want her to go to any extra expense.

He felt like a shit for taking money to have sex with her, especially when he would gladly have done it for free. It wasn’t as if the arrangement didn’t suit him. It would be nice to enjoy regular sex without any expectations on her part. But he could see there was no way she would have accepted a freebie. It would be worse, he reasoned, if she’d blown wads of cash for an hour or two with an escort. It showed how desperate she was that she had even considered it. He didn’t like to think of her throwing herself on the mercy of some rent-boy. Claire was a decent person. She deserved better. At least he could console himself with the thought that he was saving her a lot of money, and probably a world of trauma, by agreeing to her arrangement. He would look after her properly and make sure she got value for her money.

When he had changed the bedding and plumped the pillows as much as they would plump – there wasn’t a lot of life left in them – he switched off the ceiling light, turned on the bedside lamp and stood back to survey his handiwork. It still didn’t look cosy, but it was a bit of an improvement.

Then he showered, scrubbing his hands and arms to remove all traces of paint, and changed into clean clothes. He stuffed some condoms into the drawer of the nightstand and opened a bottle of wine to let it breathe. Then he closed the windows, cranked up the heating and waited for her to arrive.


Claire turned up almost on the dot of seven. As he had expected, she was nervous.

‘So, boning for beginners,’ he said, smiling and rubbing his hands when he had let her in. ‘Ready to begin?’

‘Um … yeah.’ She bit her lip. Maybe that hadn’t been quite the way to put her at ease, he thought.

‘Sorry. Have a seat.’ He motioned to the sofa, hoping she would sit on the cushion that still had some padding left. ‘Would you like a glass of wine?’

‘Yes, please.’ She sat on the wrong side, almost sinking through to the floor. She tried to extricate herself surreptitiously, coming to perch on the edge.

‘Why don’t you sit on that side?’ he said, pointing. ‘It’s more comfortable.’

She scooched over and he handed her a drink, sitting beside her.

‘Cheers!’ He clinked his glass against hers. ‘Here’s to sex education!’

‘Cheers,’ she mumbled, then took a huge slug of wine.

Infuriatingly, Luca’s neighbours chose that moment to start a domestic. There was a lot of shouting and screaming, followed by several loud thumps, and the sound of something heavy hitting the wall. ‘Sorry,’ he said, rolling his eyes and getting up. He went over to the iPod dock and switched it on, turning the volume up loud. Adele’s voice filled the room. He had cued it up earlier, guessing Claire would be the sort of girl who liked Adele. Most girls he knew did. Noticing that her glass was already half empty, he picked up the bottle of wine and topped it up.

‘Are you trying to get me drunk?’ she asked, as he sat back down beside her.

‘No, definitely not. I don’t want you drunk at all. In fact, I think you should slow down,’ he said, nodding towards her glass, which she was raising reflexively to her lips. ‘I just want you to relax.’

She lowered her glass without taking a sip. ‘Sorry. I’m a bit nervous.’

‘I know. But don’t be.’ He reached out and ran one finger down her bare arm. ‘There’s nothing to be nervous about. We’ll take it slow. And, remember, you’re calling all the shots here. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.’

‘I know. It’s just – it’s a bit weird, you know, doing it in cold blood like this. I mean, you didn’t have to do this, with the wine and everything. I’m a sure thing, you know?’ She laughed shakily.

‘So you thought we’d just go straight to the bedroom and get down to it?’

She shrugged. ‘I guess. I don’t know. I mean, it’s not as if I’ve ever done anything like this before.’

‘Well, I thought we should talk a bit first – about what we’re doing here. For example, I don’t know how much experience you’ve had. If any,’ he added, shooting her a wary look.

‘You mean … sex?’

‘Yes. When you say you’ve never done anything like this before … you have had sex before? You’re not a virgin?’

‘No.’

‘Good.’ Luca was relieved that this wasn’t going to be her first time.

‘I’ve had sex before, but I wasn’t sure—’ She broke off, blushing. ‘I wasn’t sure what was going on.’

Luca chuckled. ‘You weren’t sure what was going on?’

‘Oh, shut up!’ she huffed. ‘This is hard enough without you laughing at me.’

‘Sorry. So you know how it all works?’

‘Yes, but I just …’ She was struggling to explain. Eventually she let out a heavy sigh and said, ‘I just didn’t get it.’

‘You didn’t get what all the fuss was about?’ He nodded understandingly.

‘No, that’s not what I mean – or not just that. I mean, no, it didn’t rock my world or anything. But also I didn’t understand what was going on. I didn’t know if I was doing it right, and I couldn’t tell if it was going well or not. I mean, he was there, whacking away—’

‘Whacking away?’ He laughed. He couldn’t help it.

‘Yes, whacking away. And he just kept on and on for absolutely ages, and I didn’t know what he was waiting for, you know?’

Luca struggled to keep a straight face. ‘Well, he was probably waiting for you.’

‘Yeah, but that’s what I didn’t know. I didn’t know if he was waiting for me to … you know …’

‘Come.’

‘Yes. I mean, maybe he thought if he kept at it long enough, I’d have an orgasm. But I was just getting bored.’


‘God, I’m almost starting to feel sorry for this guy,’ Luca said.

Claire sighed. ‘I kind of felt sorry for him myself.’

‘I said almost,’ he said sternly, frowning at her. ‘He should have taken care of you.’

‘Well, anyway, I thought if he was just holding out for my sake, maybe I should fake something. But I wasn’t sure how to go about it.’

‘No,’ Luca said firmly. ‘You should never fake it. Jesus, if he thought what he was doing was getting you off, he’d just keep doing the same thing every time and it’d never get any better.’

‘Well, I just wanted it to end. But I didn’t know how to … bring it to a conclusion.’

‘You could have told him to stop.’ Luca frowned.

‘It would have seemed rude to do that. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. It’s not like he was forcing me or anything. I was into it – at the start. I wanted it to happen. I just thought it would be … better. More fun, you know?’

‘This was your first time?’

‘Yes.’ She nodded.

‘Well, it’s usually not great the first time.’

‘But it was the same every time. Not that I’ve had sex very often.’

‘How often?’

‘Um … three times,’ she said, looking away.

‘Three times? How old are you?’

‘Twenty-eight.’

‘You’re twenty-eight and you’ve only had sex three times?’

‘Well, three and a half, really.’

‘Three and a half?’ Luca chuckled. ‘We’ll come back to that later. But you say you didn’t know how to fake an orgasm?’

‘Not really. Obviously I’ve seen it in movies, but it always seems a bit over the top – like that scene in When Harry Met Sally where she keeps shouting, “Yes” and banging the table. I’d have felt really stupid doing that. I’m not much of an actress.’

‘You probably weren’t on a table anyway.’

‘No.’ To his relief Claire laughed.

‘So does that mean you’ve never had an orgasm?’ Luca asked.

‘Yes. No. I mean, yes, I have, but—’

‘You’re not sure?’

‘No, I definitely have, but not—’ She stopped, going bright red. ‘I’ve never had one when, um … when there was someone else in the room,’ she mumbled.

‘Oh,’ he said, a wide grin breaking across his face. ‘Well, we can definitely work with that. I don’t suppose you’d—’

‘What?’

‘Let me watch.’

‘You mean …?’ Her eyes widened in shock.

‘Mm, that’s what I thought,’ he said with a gentle smile. ‘It’s okay,’ he said, putting his hands on her shoulders and easing them down from around her ears. ‘I figured you’d be too shy for that at this stage. We can work up to it.’ As he spoke, he stroked her cheek with the back of his hand, his fingers trailing down her throat to the neck of her shirt. ‘I’d love to watch you get yourself off,’ he said, smiling at the blush that crept up her neck into her face. He popped open the top button of her shirt, never taking his eyes from hers, and she held his gaze as he opened the next two buttons, his hand splaying out across her clavicle, stroking across the top of her chest. Her breathing became deep and ragged.

‘You’re so gorgeous,’ he whispered, leaning in to kiss her. He kissed her mouth, her ears, her neck, while his hand stroked down her side, brushing against the side of her breast and down her leg.

‘You don’t have to say stuff like that to me,’ she said gruffly. ‘Like I said, I’m a sure thing.’

‘But it’s true.’ He smiled at her, before kissing her again on the mouth, parting her lips with his tongue. Claire clung to him, and he felt her finally relax, her body loosening as she started to kiss him back.

‘Will we move to the bedroom?’ he asked, when eventually he pulled back.

Claire nodded mutely.

He took her hand and led her in, then turned on the little bedside lamp. He drew the curtains, then turned to face Claire. ‘Sorry it’s not more …’ He trailed off, shrugging apologetically.

‘It’s fine.’ Claire gulped, her eyes huge as she looked at the bed.

‘Is it warm enough?’ Luca asked. He had had the heater on most of the day – he’d decided it was an allowable expense when he was being paid so much.

‘Yes, it’s fine. Well, I suppose I should …’ She kicked off her shoes, and began undoing her shirt briskly, as if she was getting changed for swimming.

‘Stop,’ Luca said, crossing the room and stilling her hand. ‘Let me do that.’

He bent his head, slowly undoing the rest of the buttons.

‘A couple of ground rules before we start,’ he said, as he peeled the shirt from her shoulders slowly, his hands stroking down her arms as he slid it off. ‘One,’ he said, eyeballing her, ‘no faking anything. Okay?’

She nodded.

‘I’ll know if you do,’ he warned.

‘I won’t,’ she said breathily. ‘Promise.’

‘Good,’ he said, sliding her bra straps off her shoulders and reaching around for the clasp at her back. He unclipped it, pulling it off her and tossed it aside. ‘And two,’ he said, dropping his eyes to her naked breasts, his knuckles brushing over her nipples, ‘stop me if you get bored.’

Claire just whimpered in response as he bent to kiss her neck, his hands stroking her bare skin, but he was pretty sure he could take that as a yes.


Claire was already more aroused than she’d ever felt in her life as Luca laid her on the bed and stretched out beside her, his hands roving over her bare flesh as they kissed and kissed. She’d forgotten how fantastic kissing was. How could she have gone so long without it, she wondered, as Luca stroked, licked and sucked every inch of bare skin he had revealed. She couldn’t take her eyes off him, cradling his head as he took her hardened nipples into his mouth, overcome with amazement that he would do this. The shock of his tongue trailing across her belly made her quiver and she trembled in need as it dipped into her navel, his fingers moving to the fastening of her jeans. He slid the zip down slowly, his tongue following the zipper to trail wetly along the exposed flesh. He peeled off her jeans and tossed them aside, then hooked his fingers into the sides of her knickers, sliding them slowly down her legs, his eyes hooded as he gazed at her. She was very conscious of the fact that he was still fully clothed and she was now completely naked. She felt exposed and sat up, reaching for his belt buckle.

‘Don’t,’ he whispered, removing her hand and nudging her to lie down.

‘What should I—’

‘Just relax,’ he murmured, his hands stroking leisurely up her thighs, his eyes dark as he fixed his gaze on her face. ‘Let’s just concentrate on you for now.’ Claire gasped as one hand moved between her legs and she felt his finger stroke along her heated flesh.

‘Mm,’ he groaned softly, ‘you’re so wet.’ He bent his head to nuzzle the soft skin of her inner thighs.

His fingers stroking her were heaven, but as his mouth blazed a trail along her thigh and she realised what he intended to do, she shot upright.

‘No!’ she yelped, grabbing his head and yanking it up.


‘What’s wrong?’ He frowned. ‘Don’t you like it?’

‘Um … yes, I’m sure I would – but you don’t have to do that.’ Surely she wasn’t paying him enough for that! ‘I’m sure it’s not very nice – I mean you wouldn’t want to …’

‘You’re wrong,’ he said. ‘I do want to do this.’ He caught her eye and then, when he was sure she was watching, very slowly and purposefully bent his head to give her a long lick. ‘And it’s very nice,’ he said, grinning up at her.

She looked at him uncertainly.

‘Relax, please,’ he said, stroking her shoulders and easing her back onto the bed. ‘I love doing this, honestly.’

Oh, well, to each his own, she thought, lying back and trying to relax as he bent her legs up so her feet were flat on the bed. He grabbed a pillow from beside her. ‘Lift up for me,’ he murmured.

‘What? Why?’

‘I want to put this under you, so I can get at you better.’

‘Oh.’ She lifted her hips, wondering why she found the idea of being ‘got at’ so hot.

He slid the pillow under her bum and settled himself between her legs. ‘God, I love my new job,’ he said, as he spread her open with his fingers and bent his head to her soft, aching flesh.

She was never going to be able to relax like this, Claire thought. She felt too exposed, too self-conscious. How could she possibly forget herself when—

Oh, sweet Jesus! All coherent thought vanished and she was lost in the magic of his mouth and fingers as he sucked, licked and stroked her with an enthusiasm and relentlessness that was almost too much to bear.

‘Let go! Let go!’ he panted urgently, some time later.

‘I am,’ she whimpered, her head thrashing reflexively on the pillow. How could he think she was holding back? She was just a mindless ball of nerve endings and want.

‘My hair!’ he gasped. ‘Let go my hair!’

‘Oh shit! Sorry.’ She released her death grip, fisting the sheets in her hands instead as he nibbled her *, her body bowing off the bed as her orgasm took hold and she came with a helpless moan. He continued to stroke and suck mercilessly, making her come again and again, wave after wave of pleasure coursing through her, each one more intense than the last. At last he let up, wrapping his arms around her and holding her tight as her body trembled in the aftermath of orgasm. When she shivered, he released her to pull the duvet over them both, then took her into his arms again. When she finally stilled, he drew back and stared down at her, stroking damp tendrils of hair away from her face. He smiled at her, looking very pleased with himself – as well he might.

‘So,’ he said, with a smirk, ‘do you need me to talk you through what happened there?’

‘No.’ She smiled. ‘I think that was all pretty clear.’

‘Good. There’ll be a test later.’

‘Written?’

He shook his head. ‘Oral.’ He grinned, and she giggled.

She smiled into his chest. She reckoned that was a test she could ace. All she had to do was lie there while he did amazing things to her. She felt boneless in his arms as he stroked her hair.

‘Well, that was a first.’ She sighed, nuzzling into his chest. ‘Luca?’

‘Mm?’

‘It’s much better with someone else in the room.’

Claire couldn’t remember when she’d felt so complete, so sated and content. But as she came back down to earth and reality took hold, she started to wonder what happened now. She began to feel awkward. They hadn’t discussed time, but presumably she wasn’t supposed to stay the night. He was already giving her far more time than she was paying for. She wished she could fall asleep in his arms, but she didn’t know how long it was okay for her to stay now that the ‘lesson’ was over. Maybe they should have arranged an alarm or something so she would know when her time was up.

Luca didn’t seem to be in any hurry to move either. But as he pulled her close again, she was startled to feel the hardness of his erection against her. Her eyes flew up to his. ‘Oh, but you haven’t – I mean, should I …’ She was such an idiot. She’d been so caught up in her own pleasure, she’d completely forgotten about him. And he hadn’t so much as unbuttoned his shirt the whole time. Shit! She began to reach for his zipper, but once again he grabbed her hand, holding it away.

‘No, you don’t have to do anything. I told you this time was all about you, remember?’

‘But I didn’t do anything,’ she said, feeling mortified. ‘I just lay there.’

‘Stop it,’ he said sternly. ‘First of all, you didn’t just lie there. And, anyway, there’s more to this than just learning techniques. You need to learn about your own body, your own sexuality – find out what excites you, what gets you off. How can you expect to have good sex if you don’t even know what you want? I think we’ve found one thing you like,’ he said, grinning down at her.

‘Yeah, it was okay.’ She shrugged.

He laughed. ‘Anyway, you’re paying me,’ he continued. ‘You don’t have to reciprocate every time as well. You’re upholding your end of the bargain and I’m upholding mine.’

‘Okay. But I don’t mind – just because I’m paying you it doesn’t mean it can’t be fun for you as well.’

No sooner were the words out of her mouth than she realised what an idiotic thing that was to say. There was probably no way this was going to be fun for him. He was just doing a job: the sooner it was over and she was out of here, the happier he’d be. She bit her lip, cringing with embarrassment and wishing she could take the words back. It was obvious he didn’t find her remotely desirable. He didn’t even want her to touch his dick.

‘Well,’ she said abruptly, pushing away from him and sitting up. ‘I’d better go.’ She made an effort to sound bright and nonchalant, turning away and pretending to look around for her clothes while she blinked tears from her eyes. She was being ridiculous. This wasn’t a rejection. They had a business arrangement, not a real relationship. She had to remember that.

‘There’s no rush,’ he said. She felt him sit up beside her, but she didn’t turn around. ‘Is there?’

‘Um, I have to … I’m meeting someone,’ she said, her eyes raking the floor for her clothes. Her heart sank as she realised they were all on his side of the room. Damn! She pulled the duvet around herself, suddenly feeling very naked. ‘And I’m sure you have things to do too.’

‘No, not really.’ He yawned. ‘You’re welcome to stay as long as you like.’

‘Oh.’ She wished she’d known that earlier. She could have lain in his arms for longer, but it would seem silly now to get back into bed – besides, she’d already said she had somewhere else to be.

‘Are you okay?’ he asked, and she felt his warm hand on her shoulder.

‘Yes, I’m fine,’ she said, half turning to him and giving him a shaky smile. ‘Could you, um … give me my bra and … stuff.’

‘Sure.’ The bed sagged as he got up and she heard him moving around the room. The next thing she knew he was standing in front of her and she was eyeballing his crotch. ‘Here you go,’ he said, holding out her clothes to her.


‘Thanks,’ she mumbled, grabbing them from his hand, still not looking up. God, this was mortifying. Why had she ever thought it would work? She didn’t even know how to get out of bed and get dressed – it was hopeless! She stared at the clothes in her hand, still holding the duvet to her as she pondered how to handle this. Maybe she could shimmy them on under the bedclothes? Or make a quick dart for the bathroom? She really hadn’t thought this through at all.

‘You sure you’re okay?’ Luca asked, hunching down in front of her so he could look up into her face. ‘Do you want to take a shower or anything?’

‘No, I’ll … I’ll have one at home.’

He grabbed the duvet where she held it against her chest. ‘You do realise I’ve seen you naked already?’ he said with a smile.

‘Yes, I know. I just—’

‘You have nothing to be embarrassed about,’ he said, one finger gently stroking her cheek. ‘You have a gorgeous body.’

‘Thanks,’ she said flatly. The empty compliment made her feel even more foolish.

‘I mean it,’ he said sternly, as if he had read her thoughts. ‘Maybe one day you’ll let me paint you and you can see yourself as I see you.’

‘Look, you don’t have to say things like that to me just because I’m paying you,’ she said, irked that he thought she needed his cheesy lines. God, he must find her so pathetic! ‘Your job is to have sex with me, not to romance me.’

He sighed exasperatedly, releasing the duvet and standing up. He stepped away from her and leaned back against the wall, his arms folded. ‘My job, as I understand it, is to turn you into a sex goddess.’ She looked up at him, startled by his anger. ‘But you’re never going to be a sensual, sexy woman if you don’t feel it, if you don’t believe in yourself as a desirable person. Do you think this is sexy,’ he said, waving at her, ‘cowering there like a wounded dog, trying to figure out how to get dressed under the bedclothes?’

Her eyes widened.

‘Yes, I know what you were thinking. Do you think the girl who writes your blog would be shrinking under the duvet like a f*cking outraged Victorian virgin?’

She flinched at the harshness of his words. ‘N–no.’ She was horrified to find tears welling up in her eyes. ‘I know I’m not sexy, but that’s why I need you to—’

‘But you are!’ He groaned in frustration, pulling at his hair. ‘That’s what I keep trying to tell you. But I need you to meet me halfway.’ He sighed heavily, leaning his head against the wall. ‘We need to rethink this whole thing.’

She gasped. Was he dumping her already? It was almost funny – she was so crap in bed, she couldn’t even get a guy to screw her for money. She couldn’t speak. It was taking all her concentration willing herself not to cry.

‘It’s not going to work if you’re just coming over here for lessons in techniques,’ Luca continued. ‘We need to have a more … holistic approach.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘I can teach you how to give a blowjob or whatever, but that’s not going to turn you into the person you want to be. The technical stuff is only a tiny part of it. It’s mostly about turning you into a sexually confident woman, making you feel like the desirable person you really are. And to do that we’re going to have to ramp it up.’

‘So … how exactly do we do that?’ she asked, relieved that he didn’t appear to be quitting after all.

‘I think you should plan to stay over on nights when we have a lesson – at least some of the time. You can’t run off like a scalded cat the minute it’s over. Okay?’

‘Okay.’ She nodded.

‘I’ll let you off the hook for tonight, but next time, plan to be here for the night. Pack a bag. You can leave some stuff here, if you want. It’ll be more intensive too, so better value for money – more bang for your buck, as it were,’ he said with a lopsided smile. ‘We need to spend more time together before and after because it’s not all about the act itself. You have to own your sexuality. If you stay over, you can get used to undressing in front of me and being naked around me. We can shower together – maybe have sex in the shower …’

Her breath hitched at the thought of having sex with him in the shower.

‘Unless you’d like to start now?’ He raised an eyebrow and smiled crookedly at her.

‘Um …’ She was really tempted, but she didn’t want him to know she had been lying. ‘I really am meeting someone.’

‘Okay. But you’re on board with the plan?’

‘Yes. But … should I pay you more? I mean, if I’m going to be staying over …’

‘No. You’re already paying me more than enough for something I’d do for free anyway. I don’t want you to pay me more, but I want you to put more effort into it.’

God, she hadn’t had a ‘must try harder’ lecture since she was at school. (Actually, she’d never had a lecture like this at school – she’d always been a diligent pupil.)

‘I tried,’ she protested, waving in the general direction of his groin, ‘but you wouldn’t let me.’

‘I’m not talking about touching my dick or getting me off,’ he snapped. ‘I want you to try harder to have a bit of courage, to have more faith in yourself. Okay?’

‘Okay.’

‘Now, do you want me to give you some privacy while you get dressed?’ The look he gave her was a challenge.

She swallowed hard. ‘N-no.’ Taking a deep breath, she dropped the duvet and stood up. ‘I’ll get dressed in the bathroom,’ she said, standing before him naked and forcing herself to hold his gaze with a huge effort of will.

She was rewarded with a pleased smile – he looked almost proud of her. It made it easier for her that he didn’t drop his eyes from hers, and she was grateful.

‘You know where it is,’ he said, and she walked at a normal pace from the room. It wasn’t much, but at least she didn’t break into a run. It was a start.