Arion blinks a few times causing tears to drop out of the sides of her eyes.
What the fuck am I supposed to do?
“We’ll talk when you are ready, okay?”
“Okay,” she whispers.
The doctor comes in, interrupting our conversation. Quickly, I stand up, letting go of Arion’s hand to shake his.
“How are you today?” I ask.
“Fine, fine. I think the better question is how is Arion?” He looks at her and she wipes the tears away. I grab her hand giving it a light squeeze to reassure her, to push through this.
“I’m okay.”
“You sure?”
She nods her head and smiles at him. “Good, well, your vitals look great, stable, and the nurse tells me you haven’t had any more panic attacks.”
“No, I haven’t, the medication has helped.”
“Good, and I trust that you are going to keep meeting with Dr. Crones?”
She looks at me and I answer for her, I know that’s one of the things she doesn’t want to do, but at this point I would tell any lie just to get her out of here.
“Yes, she will. I have his number and will call his office as soon as we are home.”
“Glad to hear. Now Arion, you remember what the triggers of a panic attack are, right?”
She nods her head and he lightly pats her shoulder. “I’ll sign the release papers, there’s no reason to keep you here any longer. You two take care.”
“Thank you, doctor,” I tell him as he exits the room. “God, I can’t wait to get you home.”
“Me too,” she agrees.
The nurse comes in and gives us her release instructions. Then I help Arion get dressed. She seems to be a little happier now that we are going home. Typical hospital protocol is that she be wheeled out in a wheelchair. Her facial expression is priceless when the nurse tells her this and it cracks me up. I can’t help but laugh at her, causing her to glare at me.
Once she is situated, we head down and then outside. I hail us a cab and the nurse helps her inside and then I follow. Once I have the door closed, I feel like I can breathe. Everything is going to be all right, it has to.
I tell the cab driver where we are headed and wrap Arion as tightly as I can in my arms, resting my chin on top of her messy blonde hair. On the drive we sit in mostly silence, both of us watching the sights of New York City pass us by, my mind racing, wondering what the future has in store for us.
It’s not long ’til we’re home. I pay the driver and hop out of the cab, breathing in the fresh air. Looking up at our building, I pray being here doesn’t give her a setback. I worry that it could. It’s the last thing I want. Over the last few days, I’ve witnessed it firsthand and it’s horrific. Watching the person you love struggling to breathe is indescribable. The way she panicked and didn’t make sense of her words was absolutely heart-wrenching.
As I open her door, she looks unsure. I decide to lift her out myself. It will be easier to be in control and quicker if I have her in my arms where she’s safe. “Ready, baby?”
“Uh-huh,” she responds.
I kiss those sweet lips, the ones that take my breath away as I cradle her body against my chest. For the first time in a few days, she looks me in the eyes without me having to beg or plead. Then she closes them, and I take her inside.
Herbert opens the door for us, welcoming us inside. I thank him and breeze right along to the elevators. I’m on a mission with Arion in my arms. I’m thankful that the lobby is empty. We catch the first elevator right up and my heart thuds against my chest as each floor ticks by. I’m scared that walking down the hallway will trigger another panic attack for Arion, or worse, what if Nate’s in the building?
I know that’s nonsense…he won’t show back up here. He loves her, and he doesn’t want to cause her any harm. Saying the word “love” and thinking of another man makes me feel ill. But if he does show up, I’ve notified security to keep an eye out for him. The elevator finally stops on our floor. I look down at Arion as she grips my chest and whisper, “I love you, baby.”
Her lips pucker and she presses them against the fabric of my shirt. It feels so good, to see her kiss me like this. I walk as fast as possible. Glancing down, Arion is clinging to my body with her eyes screwed shut avoiding the hallway with everything she has. Quickly, I fish my keys out of my pocket and open the door the best I can with Arion in my arms. I just need to get us inside. I rush us in like a vortex, kicking the door closed behind me. Looking around, it pains me how normal our life was two days ago. Now nothing feels normal.
I walk us into our bedroom and notice Arion’s office is still set up on our bed. Her laptop, Blackberry, calendar, iPad, everything is as it was the last time she was home.