Atonement

chapter Nine





THE NEXT TWO days flew by and before I could really process the time, Colin and I waited side-by-side at Seattle-Tacoma International Airport for our flight via Air France. It was non-stop, from Seattle to Charles De Gaulle, and I was extremely excited to finally start our trip and get it under way.

Liam had been right of course. He dropped me off that following morning after our tryst and during small talk with Colin, made up a story about the mojitos making me violently ill. According to him, I’d spent the evening glued to a toilet bowl while he held my hair and nursed me through one of the worst episodes he’d ever seen.

There must have been something in the drink I was allergic to and by all means, keep me away from mojitos when we arrived in Europe.

I had to hand it to him: the story was brilliant and his expert ability at lying to others was scary good. However, I really liked mojitos and now that I couldn’t drink them, this kind of pissed me off.

We sat side-by-side at the bar and enjoyed pints of Guinness. Our flight wouldn’t be leaving for another two hours so we had decided the best place to chill would be a nice quiet restaurant where we could drink and talk.

Colin brought our second pints of Guinness and I stared at him before I smiled. “I’m cutting you off, mister. There is nothing worse than flying while you are drunk!” I exclaimed.

We both laughed out loud. “When’s the last time you’ve been across the pond? To be honest, I wouldn’t prefer it any other way. I absolutely love getting smashed before I board a flight. I don’t make it that obvious, of course, but the point is, I sleep most of the way and that, my dear, is a joy.”

“Do you honestly want to sleep the whole time we are in first class? I thought it was supposed to be absolute luxury,” I replied in an excited tone of voice.

I couldn’t dare hide the fact I was a bit tipsy now. Guinness was quite strong and I hadn’t eaten much throughout the day. I still felt guilty about my tryst with Liam and although I had so much fun with Colin, part of me felt like a skank. How could I have slept with his brother so casually yet look at this man as a potential mate? Something was definitely unhinged in my brain.

“What’s the matter? Usually you’re so playful but you seem to be a bit down. Is there anything I can do to help?”

There was my chance. I could confess and perhaps he would spend half the trip mad at me, but at least it would be out in the open. However, no matter how much I wanted to make my lips move to speak, they wouldn’t budge.

I took the coward’s way out and shook my head. “I’m fine, seriously.” I clapped my hands together in girlish glee. “How long do we have in Paris before we leave for Nice?”

“Two days. Not including the day we arrive. I figured you would want to explore some sights, perhaps shop a bit and of course, see the Eiffel Tower or Montmartre…anywhere tacky and touristy. Then, we board a train on the fourth day first thing in the morning for Nice. I thought it would be cool to take the train down. Great scenery and it’s just a beautiful way to travel Europe,” he explained passionately.

I stared at him and tried to give him my best serious look. “How many trips have you made to Europe?”

“Too many to be honest but I never get tired of seeing the old Continent. My grandparents moved from the Netherlands to Norway so I try to see them once every couple of years. They are getting up in age and I like to visit them.”

I swigged from my Guinness. “Norway? Why there?”

“The immigrant problem in the Netherlands mostly,” he responded flippantly before his crystal blue eyes met mine again. “They aren’t racist or anything. They are actually sweet people who were both adolescents during World War II. They saw what happened to their Jewish neighbors and they watched people disappear and most of them never came back.

“The Netherlands has a rather large Muslim population for such a small country. Most of the immigrants are Moroccans, Algerians, Somalis and Turks. They also have a sizeable minority of other immigrants too but it was the Muslim reaction to Nine Eleven which made up their minds. They also watched their whole small town change. They lived in Ede, a small town called Lunteren. They were happy there but they decided they wanted to spend their golden years somewhere peaceful and quiet. They live in the small town of Oppegård, which is just right outside of Oslo.”

I suddenly felt like the crappiest person on earth, making him explain to me why his grandparents’ had moved when it was within their right to do so.

“Listen, I’m sorry. That was completely and unequivocally out of line. I would love to meet them some day. I know we weren’t planning to go that far out but maybe next time?” I offered.

Colin raised an inquisitive eyebrow. “Who said anything about a next time? We haven’t left yet and you might hate me as a traveling companion.”

We both laughed again and that is what I found so absolutely mind-boggling about him. His brother made me feel sexy and like a dog in heat but Colin just relaxed me. I felt like myself and he made me laugh, he was self-deprecating; he didn’t take life too seriously and somehow I just felt like he got me.

It was true: he wasn’t an alpha male at all but when I really sat down and thought about it, I didn’t want one. I never desired a man to tell me what to do, how to think, how I should act or dress or tell me to take my clothes off, spread my legs. Men like that made delicious fantasies but I never would have wanted to share a life with one and that was the God’s to honest truth.

Colin was just normal. He was good looking, sexy, smart and he had so much potential. I just wanted him to actually do something with his life so that when we did sit down and carve out a plan, we knew what to expect. I could see him as my husband, the father of my children. He was a good natured soul with a kind heart and although not weak by any stretch of the imagination, he was human and that vulnerable part of him spoke to me like no other man in the world.

I sipped from my Guinness again before I swirled the black liquid around in my pint glass. “Maybe we could make a pit stop this time. We could always rearrange our schedule. I’ve been to Belgium, the Netherlands, Germany and France but I have never been to Scandinavia before. Maybe we can take a week out of somewhere else after we leave France and fly up to see your grandparents. I would really like that.”

Colin finished his pint before his blue eyes met mine. “You’re serious? You want to meet my grandparents?”

“Yes, of course. Why wouldn’t I?”

He snickered under his breath. “That is a definite first but I can’t say I am surprised. You’re full of surprises and that is why I find you so goddamn intriguing.”

I looked at him slyly before I smiled again. “If you like, we can visit them after our first few days in Paris and then fly back in and enjoy the rest of our European vacation. I think that would be great idea.”

Colin looked down at his watch before he pulled out his iPhone and placed a call. The person who sounded vaguely older and female answered shortly after the third ring. He switched from English to Dutch and spoke animatedly with whom I had to assume was his grandmother.

The way the language flowed from his tongue, he’d obviously grown up speaking the language. I didn’t know any Dutch but the language always struck me as an amalgamation of French and German on acid. I looked down at my watch and realized it was shortly eight in the evening here so it was barely after five in the morning there.

I hated the feeling of butterflies as they lit up my stomach just watching him and the small smile it forced on my lips. Is this how two people fell in love? Was it the slow burn and the ache of not wanting to be apart from another person? I enjoyed his company and was just as comfortable sitting across from him enjoying a beer as I was if we were doing something more physical.

The thought of sex brought my mind back to my ultimate deception against him the night before. How could I have done that? I used the excuse it had been purely physical and the attraction I’d felt for Liam was fleeting and untenable. He would be—correction, he was—my employer and the thought something could happen between us was silly and unreasonable.

Not because of the whole issue of sexual harassment it brought up and I should know this more than anyone working soon as a manager in Human Resources. However, the feelings I had for Colin were sincere and true. I wanted to be with him and my heart skipped a beat just thinking about him possessing me in the same way his brother had the night before.

It didn’t escape me it all seemed a bit incestuous and a tad bit gross. What kind of hussy did that make me? Sleeping with brothers? How much lower on the scale of “yuck” could I slide down? Did it make a difference I’d only had two lovers before Colin—if we ever became lovers—and one of them just happened to be his brother? My moral compass buzzed in my ear like a bee and warned me I was stepping into very dangerous territory.

Before I could even contemplate whether I should tell Colin about our tryst, his phone call ended and he smiled. “My grandmother wants to meet you as soon as possible. So, I’ll go ahead and cancel the hotel I got for us for our first few days in Paris. I’ll lose the deposit but who cares. Are you okay with boarding yet another plane once we get to Charles De Gaulle to Oslo? I mean, it’s a lot of flying in a short amount of time.”

“Why would I mind? I haven’t left the States in ages and I am really excited about seeing what Norway looks like not to mention meeting your grandparents.” I downed the rest of Guinness and set the pint glass down. “What exactly did you tell them about us?”

“I told my grandmother she would be meeting my future wife,” he replied truthfully without a hint of guilt.

This caused me to do a double-take. “Um, whoa there, tiger. We haven’t even shared a kiss and all the sudden I am your future wife? I refuse to marry a man who works at a coffee shop and a bar by night. Call me an elitist but I know you can do better and I won’t be satisfied until you live up to your full potential.”

“Yes, I know. Which is why you will be very happy to find out I leased an extremely expensive piece of real estate in Pike Place Market. It’s smallish but the owner had a liquor license I could have it grandfathered in. The lease starts when we get back and I plan to do what you want me to do to the letter. I will open up a bar that sells food as well. And guess what, I’ll be cooking it. Well, some of it eventually. I will be hiring a chef in the interim while I get the place up and running. Does that make you feel better? Your future husband is an entrepreneur just like his brother instead of some bum who works as a barista during the day and a bartender by night?”

I bit my lip as I realized the severity of what he was telling me. He was willing to invest in a venture that might fail just to please me? This was a tall order.

“I’m assuming you quit your other two jobs?”

“Yep, yesterday was my last day at both. O’Shaughnessy was pissed—he said I was his best bartender and he hated I was moving on but the coffee shop couldn’t care less. They had a replacement before I left my shift. Looks like there are people better qualified to be a barista than I am.”

I didn’t know exactly what to say to that but was saved by the announcement our flight was beginning to board. Colin and I immediately stood and began to make our way to the gate. As we were in first class, we were some of the first to board the plane. We immediately found our seats and sat next to one another. The seats were luxury themselves and it felt so strange not to be close enough to touch. However, Colin leaned toward me as I had a window seat and we continued to chat as we looked out the window.

The weather wasn’t that great. Although it was dark, the sky was overcast and quite typical for this time of year in Seattle, however I couldn’t help but think we wouldn’t see anything different until we arrived in the south of France but who knew when that would be? I don’t know what it was but something inside me told we would be spending more than just a few days in Norway.





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