chapter of HFFIN—Homes for Families in Need—so if you ever feel those heartstrings pull at you, I can get you in touch on a future project with either organization and you are free to participate.”
“If you don’t mind me asking, why are you doing this for me?”
“Well, to be honest, I can see how much you are into my brother and I want you to feel self-assured in yourself to think a relationship between you two could be possible. He does have a reputation for being a ‘ladies’ man’ but it isn’t like that. He’s just picky and I can see he likes you just as much as you like him,” Liam explained in a sincere tone.
I picked up a sliver of cheese and bit delicately. “So, basically, you have no ulterior motives other than setting me up with your brother? What if I don’t like him the way you think I do?”
“Well, your emotions are pretty transparent. I understand your complicated relationship with Drew but it isn’t going to destroy their friendship if you end up with him. You two are going to be in very close quarters for at least one month. A lot can happen in that space of time. You’re a decent person not to mention beautiful and intelligent. Why wouldn’t I want my brother to be happy? He deserves it after all this time especially after Sierra messed him over.”
I sipped from my water. “As in Sierra Granger?”
“You know her?”
“We attended the same high school. She was always known as a heartbreaker but if I am not mistaken, isn’t she married now?”
Liam merely nodded. “The worst part is she was dating both Colin and Kevin at the same time. At the end of the day, she made her choice and dumped him just days before her engagement to Kevin was announced. It nearly destroyed him. You see, Colin was also a founding partner of uConnect with the three of us but he equally sold his shares to Jake, Dennis and I; he hasn’t been interested in business much since then. He prefers to dick away his life on endless European vacations and working at that shitty little coffee shop and bar.
“To say he has disappointed our father is a grave understatement. He wants him to become a productive member of society again and you might just be able to save him and force him to live up to the expectations set by our father.”
The waiter intervened and we ordered our main courses. I chose the Neah Bay king salmon while Liam ordered the gently poached chicken. He also arranged for a very nice bottle of white wine to accompany our lunch.
“Do you think that is wise? I wouldn’t want you to go back to the office drunk,” I murmured as soon as the waiter collected our menus and left.
“Don’t worry about me. After all the bread I have consumed, it will soak up the alcohol and believe me I will be nicely buzzed but hardly drunk by the time I get back to the office.” His sky blue eyes met mine and he stared intently at me. “However, I should tell you I have ulterior motives. I have heard a fascinating rumor that Caitlyn is your sister.”
“You know she is as I have confirmed it for you previous times—or were you too drunk to remember?—so it’s hardly a rumor,” I snapped.
“Well, you two don’t look a damn thing alike.”
“Neither do you and Colin—not really, unless matching complexions and builds are tangible proof you’re siblings.”
“You know what I mean.” He rolled his eyes. “You’re very exotic looking and very unique looking. Caitlyn is blonde, blue-eyed, porcelain-skinned and untouchable.”
“Well, that comes down to genetics. We share the same father but her mother is English. Mine was a southerner from Louisiana. However, I never knew her as she died when I was young and Jeanette is my legal mother as she adopted me. However, Caitlyn is her biological daughter with my father.”
That look of sympathy etched into his expressive eyes again. “It must have been devastating to lose your father. I mean, not so much because he was your only surviving biological parent but because of the way he was taken from you. Do you want to talk about it?”
I grabbed a slice of salami and set it on top of a succulent piece of bread. “Not really—that’s what I pay your father for—and besides, it’s been a subject that has been talked about ad nauseum. I really do appreciate you wanting to know more about what happened but I would rather not. That’s what the trip is about. Losing myself and actually exploring and visiting other places. I suppose different places and restaurants that don’t remind me of him.”
I sighed and closed my eyes for a moment. “Like this place. It was a family tradition to come here. I have tried almost every dish on the menu and I always remember my dad when I am here. I can still see us laugh and joke here with Jeanette looking on in an amused fashion while Caitlyn sneakily devoured most of the bread.”
“Should I have chosen a different restaurant?”
I shook my head. “No, I like it here.” I finally met his eyes. “We are having a small get together to celebrate our trip. Why don’t you come along and meet her for yourself. I can’t guarantee you she will be receptive to your charms but you never know, do you?”
“Oh, she’ll be receptive to my charms all right,” he responded arrogantly.
“Must be nice to be so sure of yourself,” I murmured in a snarky voice.
“How do you think I got my reputation in the first place?” he inquired before he winked at me.
I smiled before we both stared at each other and burst into laughter.
“THE COCKY ASSHOLE. He’s pretty sure of himself, isn’t he? Just because I like to flirt with men doesn’t mean I snog and shag every man who looks in my direction.”
I couldn’t help but laugh out loud and realized I hadn’t laughed this much in a single day in a very long time.
I’d stopped by my sister’s condo after putting in my notice at the half-way house and woman’s shelter. She lived downtown as well not far from Pike Place Market except she’d inherited her two-bedroom Cristalla condo from our parents’. They’d owned it since the building had first opened as it was supposed to be an investment property. Later, it was supposed to be a home Caitlyn and I could share until we got married or bought one another out.
Caitlyn had officially “bought” me out after our father’s death and the insurance policy came through. She’d paid me fair market value and it was with that money I later purchased the townhouse I co-owned with Drew.
My sister had always been a private person and preferred to live on her own. The second bedroom was her office and as she did not entertain very often, the space was utilized quite well with sparse elegant furniture but nothing flashy except for a very expensive yet ugly Jackson Pollock painting she’d inherited from our father. He’d offered it to me first but I wasn’t a fan of the work—Caitlyn found something hauntingly beautiful in the chaotic bush strokes that looked like they’d been designed by an overzealous three year old but I was happy she adored the painting and it was a constant reminder to her of our dearly departed father.
“He just wants to meet you,” I began softly as she handed me a glass of Sauvignon Blanc.
“Yeah, they always do and then they have one too many drinks and think just because I am blonde, my legs are going to miraculously open up for them. One bloke had the nerve to tell me he heard English girls were easy so what did I expect? ‘First off, I’m American and second off, my other half is French so if you think you are getting anywhere past first base, it’s going to take a bit more than a dinner at Crush and a ninety-nine vintage bottle of Ristow to get me into bed’.”
“I suppose you got out of there as soon as possible?”
“Of course. I told him I had to go powder my nose and just walked out the front door. No way will I have a man treating me like dirt. And that goes for Liam van der Meer as well. I know he’s your friend’s brother but I am not going to take shit off him because he happens to be your new boss,” Caitlyn expressed before she sat beside me.
“How’s work going?”
She scrunched up her face. “Work is work, Deirdre. Seriously, did you really come over to ask me about my day or are there other issues that brought you by?”
I drank from my wine. “Why do I get the feeling like I have disturbed something? Listen, I know how often you bring your work home so just go ahead and finish it. But I will see you tomorrow at the get together, right?”
Caitlyn smiled with devilish steel blue eyes. “Of course you will.” She chewed on her lip for a moment before she glared at me again. “Tell me you two haven’t slept together!”
“Who? Colin and I? Course not. It’s just strictly platonic…at the moment. Why? I’m not a whore either you know.”
“I certainly wasn’t suggesting you were one but…I see the heated looks exchanged between you two. He likes you a lot and you’re crazy about him. What ever happens in Europe, don’t fight him when you come back, okay? Stop letting Drew chase men away from you.”
“Okay…um, is everyone living in an alternate universe because there are absolutely, positively no heated looks between us. I like him, as a friend, and he came through when I needed him to be there for me. It’s been tough, you know. Usually I go weeks without hearing from Aubrey and this time it was a couple of months. I really thought she had her shit together and then she pulls that stunt with us picking her up at the club? That is so not cool.”
Caitlyn stood and walked to her floor to ceiling picture window. The curtains were open and the city spread out beneath us. The lighting was purposefully muted and felt romantic yet soothing at the same time.
“Maybe it’s time you start to…cut her out of your life?” She turned toward me and her blue eyes pleaded for understanding. “Don’t get me wrong, sis. I mean, I know she’s your uncle’s daughter and a part of the family life you missed because your real mother died but…that doesn’t give her the right to use you when ever she likes and that is exactly what I see her do to you on a regular basis. I don’t like it at all and you need to take a firmer stance when it comes to her.”
I immediately became defensive though I knew I should just calm down and take out a few strangled breaths. “How is she using me, Cait? She’s got nowhere to go, and her roommate was bangin’ her ex-boyfriend. What am I supposed to do? Leave her to her own devices on the street? You know she’s been clean for a while now and all I need is a druggie for a cousin because she is going to be an even bigger pain in the ass than she is now. At the moment, she’s tolerable. And hopefully by the time I get back from Europe, she will have found another place to stay.”
Caitlyn cocked her head to the side and crossed her arms underneath her breasts. “Do you truly believe that?”
I sipped from my Sauvignon Blanc before I set the glass on my sister’s coffee table. “No, not really.”
“Well then why don’t you really lay down the law tomorrow night when we have you and Colin’s going away celebration? Tell her you’re tired of being used and you will help her find a place or hell Drew can aid her with finding a roomie. He knows enough eccentric people. The whole point is to have your space back after the trip so you can settle back in and start your new job at uConnect. You know, officially join the world of the living and professional.”
I smiled at her and she returned it with enthusiasm. “It is kind of cool I will be working for uConnect, isn’t it?”
“Totally! You have a cooler job than I do and you know I love me some Amazon but to be part of a social network revolution. I mean…we’ve gone through Myspace, LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter and now uConnect is the hot property! I expect to hear all the gossip and the dirt because I know there is tons!” Caitlyn exclaimed as she walked over and sat next to me on the sofa again.
“Okay, you are way too excited for my tastes. I don’t think I will find out much ‘dirt’, seeing as I am just the manager for HR,” I replied in a non-committal voice. “Besides, I can’t just tell you anything you want to know because an employee’s file is confidential. I could get fired for blathering off at the mouth.”
My sister rolled her eyes. “I don’t expect names, you retard. Just some juicy details is all. I’ve heard some pretty interesting stories about some of the employees at uConnect—I’m sure you have too.”
“Actually, no, I haven’t. Liam took me out for lunch at S&S and all we did do was make small talk. We talked about the company in general but he didn’t get personal with me and I didn’t get personal with him either.”
This wasn’t exactly the whole truth but the way Caitlyn’s eyes lit up about knowing a few secrets wasn’t exactly endearing. It reminded me of university where everyone always was on the look out for trash on someone else. It felt backbiting, small and petty. I didn’t do well with any of them and I certainly took no joy in hearing about other people’s suffering or their problems. My job as a counselor at the halfway house and food shelter for battered women had taught me more than I needed to know about secrets and most of all, I found them tragic. There was nothing noble about rejoicing in another person’s misery to me.
“Fine, I’ll share but I don’t want you to call up Liam and resign before you’ve started. It’s all rumor anyway and although there might be a modicum of truth about it, I don’t know the complete circumstances.”
I stared at Caitlyn as she sipped from her wine and played with the stem of the glass. “That HR manager whose job you’re inheriting, she isn’t leaving because of her pregnancy. It’s a good excuse to use but it goes deeper than that.”
“Okay?” I began in a soft voice. “What’s it all about then?”
“Well, from what I heard, she was close to that woman, Stephanie McLaughlin.”
I arched an eyebrow. “Isn’t she the one who jumped from her condo after a night of indulging in Bath Salts?”
“Mmm hmm,” Caitlyn replied cryptically.
Everyone knew the story of someone who had known someone who had tried Bath Salts and it didn’t end too well for them. It had officially become an urban legend. The brand new designer drug that had been introduced to the American market less than two years’ previously had originated in Europe sometime around 2009. It was odorless and tasteless, could be ingested, snorted, smoked or taken intravenously and was dangerous as hell.
The problem was no one knew what was a safe limit but the people who had tried it often did too much and it caused a reaction very similar to that of a zombie or a vampire. However, although these were fictional characters, a person who was under the influence of Bath Salts had super human strength—similar to PCP users—could be incredibly dangerous, and usually suffered from severe hallucinations.
There was a story in the paper a few months previously about a man who had beaten a homeless man to death with his bare hands before he took on three patrol officers, two who were so severely injured, they had to be treated at the local hospital.
For some reason, even “intelligent” and affluent people had used the drug as well. Though they never had attacked a homeless person, Stephanie’s story was the most famous of them all. She’d been with her boyfriend, Clark Jameson, who had put the Bath Salts in her drink. They’d had sex, he left and the drug had just began to take its effect in her system. She’d walked out onto the balcony of her thirtieth floor condo, climbed the railing and jumped, Lethal Weapon-style. She never screamed or made a sound and her body merely ended up broken and battered on the sidewalk where shocked pedestrians witnessed her emotionless actions.
There was a lot of talk and the story made the news. Clark, her boyfriend, came from a well-to-do family and although it was his actions which caused her death, he’d gotten off with two years’ probation. This did not please the McLaughlin family who were angry and indignant there seemed to be no justice for their daughter but that was the way of the world.
It wouldn’t have had the press coverage it received if she hadn’t been an employee at uConnect.
“Okay, so the HR Manager—”
“Her name is Rebecca Desouza. Apparently she is married to Dennis’ cousin,” I interrupted.
“And I thought Amazon was incestuous!”
“Well, Liam kind of gave me a head’s up about that. They don’t like hiring outside people so pretty much everyone knows everyone. They also use an internship program with the University of Washington and the candidates that fit in are offered a position at the end of their internship. It is a very…closed company. I don’t mean it the way it sounds. I merely mean it just seems like they have a lot of issues with being too exposed. I suppose they never want a movie like The Social Network to come out about them.”
Caitlyn shook her head with a wry smile on her face. “Look at you, it’s beginning already. No wonder Liam wanted you so badly. You’re already a freakin’ Pitbull. I don’t see you staying in HR for very long. Before you know it, you will be in PR.”
“I hope not,” I said as I scrunched up my face. “I don’t wanna do PR. Surely that would require a degree in Advertisement and to be honest, I am through with school. I am not even finishing my PhD and I am only a semester away from finishing my degree but at this point in my life…it just carries too many bad memories. Even if I were to complete it, I would always remember why I stopped the classes in the first place and…I’m not ready for all of that yet.”
“It’s up to you. You know I support anything you decide to do. This is your life and I am just so happy you have decided to get a proper job, I couldn’t give a shit if you didn’t want to enter another university classroom. You’re too educated for the position you are taking but everyone has to start somewhere.”
I finished my wine and set the glass down. “Okay, babe. I better go before Colin starts blowing up my phone with texts. He gets worried when I’m not home after he gets off work.”
“I thought he worked late?”
“Thursday nights he gets off at eight. I promised I would be home on time because it’s his turn to cook and he’s making beer-battered fish and chips. He’s not too bad in the kitchen so I don’t wanna miss dinner.”
We embraced quickly before I high-tailed it out of there. I loved my sister to death but like most sibling relationships, there was only so much I could take. And I hadn’t been lying. I loved Colin’s cooking and looked forward to his beer battered fish and chips.
“SO, WHAT DID you think?” Colin inquired after dinner.
We sat on the patio. A small fire had been built to chase away the slight late May chill in the air. It would be nice to be away from Seattle for a while but we knew the weather we were bound to face in Europe might not be too different to what we were dealing with now. The only exception would probably be the south of France which we were both looking forward to more than we were letting on.
I leaned back on the comfortable furniture and swigged from my Newcastle. Within the week I had stayed with him, he was determined to turn me into a beer connoisseur. I’d tried ales, lagers and everything in between. Newcastle wasn’t too bad but it certainly was an acquired taste.
However he wasn’t asking about the ale, he spoke specifically of the delicious dinner we’d shared together.
I pretended to contemplate because the last thing this man needed was a huge ego to match his great looks and disarming personality. He not only could make a killer dirty martini but he could cook as well. If he was so against getting a proper job, I wondered why he didn’t open up his own hole in the wall? A place with great alcohol and bar food where people could relax and enjoy themselves in a friendly atmosphere. He would kick ass especially with all the juicy entrepreneurial business he would acquire from Liam.
“It was delicious. As a matter of fact, it was such a great meal, I think you need to open up your own bar-restaurant,” I responded as my eyes never left his gorgeous crystal blue eyes.
Colin swigged from his ale. “Oh no, not you too. You’re the second person to suggest a venture like that. The first was Liam and I am going to tell you the same thing I told him—it isn’t gonna happen.”
“Why not? You work for other people when you don’t have to. Your brother told me about you co-founding uConnect and how you sold off your shares to the other partners’ when you and Serena broke up. I really think it is something you should seriously consider. Just think about it, you could do what you enjoy and be your own boss. What could be better than that?”
“You don’t give up, do you?” He set his bottle down on the table and took a defensive position with his arms across his chest. “Everyone thinks it’s so easy to run an eatery and it isn’t. The success rate is ridiculously low and even though the economy here is strong, there are more than enough places to enjoy alcohol and food. I don’t need that kind of aggravation.”
I studied him and titled my head slightly to the right. “All that is just bullshit you’ve been feeding yourself for so long, you actually believe it. For some reason, you’ve decided to take on this role where Liam is the good guy of the family, the successful and enterprising brother while you’re the classic f*ck-up and you are doing yourself no favors with that kind of attitude.
“I think you’re afraid of failure and the fear is so palpable, you’d rather not try at all to try and perhaps fail. There is nothing written in the cards to say you wouldn’t be a success and why you feel this need to make yourself the martyr of the family is beyond me. You are so intelligent and you have so much going for you. I’m going to quote my sister though I don’t do it often: ‘don’t you think it’s time you put that Harvard education to work’? Why go to such a successful and prestigious learning institution to be a barista at a coffee shop and a bartender at some place here in town? Those are usually jobs for college students and those who have decided not to go to college, not people like you,” I explained in a sympathetic voice.
“See, that’s the problem though. I have everything I want and I have never been that difficult to please. I just wanna live life, have fun and basically look out for myself. I don’t want to have to deal with invoices and employees and all that shit.”
“So are you telling me your only wish is to live for yourself? You don’t ever want to have to be responsible for anyone else and this way, you won’t have to be? Don’t you want a spouse? Children? It’s kind of hard living in a place like Seattle on a coffee boy and bartender salary.”
“Yeah but that isn’t something I have to worry about, now is it? It’s not like we’re ever gonna be a couple and even if I did get all that shit, I have enough money to support my family so we wouldn’t have to live on the money I make from my two jobs.”
I sighed with exasperation. “You are one of the most infuriating people in the world sometimes.”
“Why? Because I don’t want to be like you?”
My expression changed and my eyes immediately went cold. “I’m not asking you to be like me because you could never be like me. Yes, you’ve lost a parent but your mother died of cancer. She wasn’t run over by some crazed drunk driver who left her broken body on the asphalt to be found by the police and paramedics. You will never know what it’s like to be me and don’t ever think you have a clue what I am going through because you don’t and you never will.”
“Listen, I didn’t mean it like that…” he trailed off.
I finished the rest of my ale and set the bottle on the table. “Don’t worry about it—I’m off to bed. Talk to you in the morning.” I stood and walked to my guest bedroom.
One I was there, I slipped on a cute flannel sleep shirt and crawled into bed. I knew my behavior was a bit over the top but there was always tomorrow and I could apologize then.
Chapter Eight
I AWOKE WITH a start and for a moment, I thought it was morning already. It wasn’t; I grabbed my Android and realized it was only shortly after one in the morning and next to me in a pair of black boxer shorts and matching wife-beater, was Colin. This made me sit up with a start before I shook him rougher than I intended to and he stirred slowly before he opened his eyes.
Regardless of the fact he was half asleep, a thin line of drool marked his cheek and his hair was completely mussed, he still looked sexy as hell and I cursed my stupid female hormones.
“What are you doing in here?” I inquired, burying my own shame with a cool tone that didn’t completely eradicate my own lust.
“Sorry. I felt bad about what happened and I came in here after we had our first fight. I wanted to talk to you but you were sleep so I just crawled next to you and watched you sleep. Before I knew it, I was sleep too. I didn’t try anything, I swear,” he replied, the sleep in his voice still palpable.
“I didn’t think you had.” I ran my hands through my tousled hair before I lay down. “You can get underneath the covers you know. We are both adults and well over the age of twenty-one. I have no false illusions you are going to attack me just because we are sharing the same bed. You sleep on your side and I’ll sleep on mine.”
Colin slipped underneath the covers in a weary manner before he turned toward me and stared at me with those blue eyes of his which could make that twisted knife in my heart melt. “Listen, I’m sorry. You’re right. I need to stop hiding as much as you needed to and I am scared of failure. I’m so terrified I will never live up to Liam and it just…it’s overwhelming sometimes. You have no idea what it’s like to live in his shadow because he has always been so awesome and I have been so…goddamn ordinary.”
I slipped on the lamp next to my bed. It carried a low-watt lighting throughout the room, soothing rather than garish. “Listen, I may not have had to live up to an older sibling but I have had Caitlyn and let me tell you something about my perfect blonde sister. She did everything right and I couldn’t ever do anything she did. I hated the comparison. It’s probably why I wouldn’t work for Amazon if they were the only company in Seattle. I’d never measure up because everyone would always compare me to Cait and I don’t want that shit.
“I mean, don’t get me wrong. I certainly don’t have your issues because I know Cait and she is far from perfect. She watches her weight like a hawk because she is prone to weight gain and I can eat anything I want. She’s gorgeous but she suffers from self-esteem issues too. I know she secretly feels a bit jealous against me and not because of my ‘exotic’ beauty or anything petty like that. She hates she didn’t have it in herself to defy our parents’ and live her life the way she wanted to.”
Colin scooted closer in the bed though he lay on his side. “What do you mean?”
“Caitlyn was accepted at Stanford University but what she didn’t tell our parents was she’d also applied to Cambridge too. They took one look at her transcripts, all the volunteer work she did and it certainly didn’t hurt she was a British citizen and they accepted her immediately. I remember the look on her face when she received the paperwork.”
My smile disappeared. “She never showed it to our parents because she didn’t want to give them the chance to say no. Jeanette hates England. Granted it’s the country of her birth…along with Wales and Scotland…but she would never want Cait to go. She would have said no on principle alone. No way was England claiming her only daughter. Jeanette was afraid maybe she might like it there and not come back.”
He touched my cheek and caressed it with his left hand. “Sometimes I forget how sensitive you are and I can be such a f*cking dick. I know you have experiences with sibling rivalry too but at least yours was healthy. You see, I was the favorite—between both our parents’—and Liam thought he had to work twice as hard to impress them. That is why he’s so driven and I don’t blame him but I know I can’t be like him and if I am perfectly honest with myself, I don’t want to be.”
I slipped Colin’s hand between my own hands and closed them over his. “Then you don’t have to be and starting your own business is not going to make you in competition with your brother. Think about it as a way to start your life. You are turning over a new leaf. You are declaring this is your life and you will live it however you want to. At least try…can you promise me that?”
Our bodies touched lightly before I felt his warm thigh ride between my own. “Promise me something: if I do this, will you at least give me a chance?”
I smiled again. “What do you mean?”
“Well, in case it’s escaped you, I haven’t brought another chick here since you’ve been staying at my place and I’m not bragging but I do possess a rather high sex drive. To be honest, I don’t want to sleep with anyone else except you. I know that sounds cheesy because we haven’t even known one another for a week but…there’s just something about you. And no, it’s not your vulnerability—it’s your strength.
“Around you, I feel like a better human being and you make me want to strive for better. I seriously have f*cked off this restaurant idea so many times but only when you suggested it did I give it real serious thought. I want you in the worse way and surely you want me to.”
It happened before I could stop it but his lips found mine and I allowed the kiss, so sweet and tender to turn more torrid and explicit. His tongue touched mine and it felt like a thunderstorm raged in my stomach.
I pulled back abruptly. “I won’t say no but you have to know I don’t do one night stands and I sure as hell don’t do insta-love. I am not going to be exclaiming I love you by next week because I know I don’t. Relationships are like plants. They need room and sustenance to grow and expand. If you’re willing to put in the work then we can talk about taking this to the next level.”
Colin lay on his back and placed his arms behind his head for leverage. “Can you blame me? Women don’t quite seem to know what they want nowadays and I would desperately like to save you from the clutches of my brother. He may not be relationship material but that’s not to say he might not try to take you for a test drive.”
I laughed as I turned over to my side away from him. “Don’t worry about me, sweetie. I may look delicate but I can handle a horn dog like your brother.”
My mind danced along the edges of sleep again when I heard him murmur, “I wouldn’t be too sure of anything if I were you.”
ALTHOUGH OUR GET-TOGETHER was supposed to take place originally at the townhouse I shared with Drew, the location quickly changed to O’Shaughnessy’s. Liam couldn’t hold water and what was supposed to be a small intimate get together with friends wishing us well on our trip to Europe turned out to be a no-holds barred mega party with plenty of people I didn’t know.
Half the uConnect office turned up along with Liam, Drew, Colin, Caitlyn and Aubrey who had taken the night off from Bare to celebrate with us. Alcohol flowed as easily as water and unfortunately, my food intake didn’t keep up with the endless mojitos I found myself enjoying.
The celebration was in full swing but two hours into it, my head began to spin and I quietly wandered outside to get some air. I took deep breaths and knew if I stopped drinking, I would be all right for the time being and probably wouldn’t end up puking either.
I pulled out my Android to call a taxi as Liam walked out with a friend. He kissed her cheek and bid her farewell as she climbed into her car and drove off shortly. I prayed he wouldn’t see me but unfortunately, he turned my way and smiled.
“What are you doing out here? Shouldn’t you be enjoying your last couple of days here in the States before you take off for Europe?” he greeted as he walked over to me.
“I don’t feel all that great. I drank too much and seriously, all I can think about is going back to Colin’s. I was going to call a cab. Can you tell him I left?”
“Nonsense! I barely drank much, I can take you back to his condo. Come on.”
My mind kept repeating this was not a good idea. In fact in the shitty world of bad ideas, this was right up there with the experimentation of acid and bungee jumping as far as I was concerned. I should have stuck to my original idea of a cab.
I followed Liam, albeit reluctantly, to his late-model black BMW X6, and I seriously questioned my sanity. I could have asked any number of people to take me home, including Caitlyn, Drew or even Colin who hadn’t seemed too drunk.
Liam was dangerous. Walking sex on a stick dangerous because he was not only my new boss but he was Colin’s brother and I had to admit I did find Colin attractive and I liked him a lot. Too much to sully what we had with easy sex and something that would eventually end up a “friends with benefits” type of arrangement because he wouldn’t be able to take me seriously.
At the same time, I was also a woman. A woman with sexual needs who hadn’t gotten laid in a while and I wanted to desperately. I wanted to be sated so I wouldn’t go on this trip to Europe a total over-hormonal bitch who would act like a complete and utter basket case because I hadn’t bothered to get laid before boarding a flight to another continent.
And there was that dangerous part of me who, like Aubrey, liked to live life on the wild side. Most of the time, she was hidden from the world but she questioned me that night. There was no guarantee Colin and I would end up in a relationship and no matter what happened between Liam and I, it would just be a one night stand and that would be it. No strings, no love, no feelings—just pure sex because that is what people our age did to blow off steam and show we were attracted to someone without them necessarily becoming a spouse, life partner or the parent of our potential children.
All this raced through my mind and by the time Liam pulled up to the building and he parked in his designated spot, he looked over at me. “Hey. You wanna come up to my place? I don’t think you have ever seen it and it has a great view. I could make you a cup of coffee before you go back to Colin’s all on your own.”
Oh the man was smooth but he also seemed sincere and I had no real reason to doubt he didn’t care about my well being.
“Sure, that would be great,” I replied before I smiled shyly.
We stepped out and walked into the large condominium complex before we boarded the elevators up to his floor. His was located several floors higher than Colin’s but that wasn’t the only difference between his place and where I was staying with his brother.
Liam’s home looked like it had been designed for an episode of MTV’s defunct show, Cribs. The place was amazing. Everything was high tech and instead of a proper second bedroom, it was a playroom with a pool table, a dope computer system and a mini-bar. He gave me the complete tour and afterwards, I felt dizzy from everything he’d showed me in such a blasé fashion as opposed to from one too many mojitos.
“What do you think?” Liam inquired as he strode closer to me and invaded my personal space. “It’s a bit swankier and less sterile than my brother’s pad but it’s still pretty cool, right?”
I stared into those gorgeous sky blue eyes of his and smiled. “Yes, it’s very nice.”
He slid his hands around my waist and held me close to him. I could smell the faint scent of his cologne, Armani Code Ultimate, a sensuous and sexy fragrance that seductively teased my nostrils. “You know what is even better than all this crap I’ve filled my condo with to impress the ladies and my boys?”
“I wouldn’t have a clue,” I remarked in a sarcastic tone.
“You. Holding your body like this and having you so very close to me.” He sighed despondently. “It’s a damn shame you are so in lust with my brother because I would take you in a heartbeat but since that isn’t a possibility…how about one night? It could be our little secret. No one else has to know and as far as everyone is concerned, I dropped you off and you went to bed,” he explained in a calm and fluid voice which drove me over the brink.
“Is this a yes or no question?” I wondered out loud.
“Not particularly, no. I usually want what I want and I am hoping you will acquiesce. I wouldn’t force myself on you but you must feel what exists between us. I haven’t been alone in imagining your attraction for me.”
“No, you aren’t but at the same time, I’m not a dog and I’m not going to ‘sit’ just because you tell me to either,” I finally said, my eyes never wavering from his own.
Liam grabbed me by the back of my neck and brought me in for a kiss. It was soft, feathery, and light at first but the moment his tongue reached for mine through my open mouth, it became animalistic and bruising. His touch was electric, from the way his other hand trailed down the side of my little scarlet flared-hem bandage dress and gently touched my thigh to the way he controlled our kiss entirely.
When he pulled away and I could finally come up for air, a straggled breath I was barely aware of holding until now, he kissed my neck as his nimble fingers undid the clasp at the base of my neck before he unzipped the dress from the back. He pulled the sleeves of the dress down and my breasts were immediately bared to him as it wasn’t the kind of dress you could wear a bra with unless you wanted it on display.
His hands were immediately at my breasts, squeezing my nipples between his thumb and forefinger as he kissed me passionately, his tongue claiming my mouth as his own yet again.
I knew we’d both passed the point of no return and to be perfectly honest, I didn’t want him to stop or slow down. My sex throbbed clear from my swollen * all the way to my aching womb which felt so empty at this moment and wanted to be full with a man, this man in particular.
Liam bent and sucked on my left nipple as he continued to squeeze the other, almost to the point of it being painful but it felt so pleasurable to have his warm mouth on my body, I lost all sense of time and control.
As he switched breasts and sucked on my right nipple while teasing with left one, still slick from his saliva, his other hand wandered underneath my dress, slid aside my matching scarlet thong and caressed the folds of sex before he allowed his middle finger to enter me and finger-f*cked me in a slow teasing endeavor as his thumb seductively massaged my *.
I stood there, almost shell-shocked by the pleasure and buried the feeling of impending guilt. It nagged and ate away at some part of me but I could deal with it tomorrow when I was stone cold sober.
He picked me up and took us to his bedroom where he stood me back up, slipped my dress with care from my body before he pushed me down on the bed. The same care he’d taken with my dress, he took with slipping off my shoes and setting them on the floor.
Liam kissed his way up my body and I closed my eyes and enjoyed the sensation and surrendered myself to the moment. Then he spread my legs and slipped my thong off. My whole body was bare to him, especially the moist, swollen sex between my legs which throbbed painfully and wanted, needed his touch so desperately, it was hard for me to control myself.
“Open your eyes,” he whispered and I finally did.
He stood before me and slipped out of his black dressy shirt before he slid off a pair of expensive black jeans. He wore no underwear and his cock jutted out painfully hard against his skin. He had absolutely no shame or compunction about sliding his fingers between my moist sex and using the lubricant to caress his cock with one of his hands.
“You want this?” he inquired out loud. “Tell me you want this.”
“I want this,” I repeated.
“You want what? I want to hear you say it. I want that beautiful mouth to exclaim she wants my cock.”
My eyes never left his as I whispered, “I want your cock.”
Liam pushed me further up on the bed and knelt down in front of my spread legs. “All in due time but first, I have been dying to taste that sweet cunt of yours.”
Ugh, I hated that word but I tried not to let it kill the moment.
His fingers spread my sex like a flower before his tongue traced my swollen *. I gasped out loud as his whole mouth surrounded the swollen bud with warmth while his tongue flicked over the center with measured, teasing strokes which drove me nearly to the brink.
Liam slipped two fingers inside my soaking sex and began to slowly pleasure me from the inside out as he licked my *. I thought I would lose it but once I began to see stars and a powerful orgasm flowed over me, I knew I would be okay, physically at least.
He crawled up my body and began to kiss me passionately and for one lost moment, I forgot about precaution because before I knew it, he’d entered me and thrust hard and rough against my body. I placed firm hands on his shoulders and ended our kiss.
“I’m not on birth control. We can’t bareback,” I lied smoothly.
“Oh, okay.” He immediately withdrew and reached over to his bureau where he grabbed a condom wrapper, sheathed his cock and spread my legs and thrust inside me again.
As he kissed me, I felt the difference but what ever he had sheathed himself with wasn’t a latex condom. I could still feel the warmth of his hardness buried inside of me and every time he thrust into me, it felt as if we were still barebacking yet we weren’t. I tried to lose myself in the moment, knowing he wouldn’t have put himself or me in any danger. Sex was great but it wasn’t worth dying over.
His lips trailed my neck before he stopped and stared into my eyes. “Where are you because you’re not here, and you certainly aren’t in the moment?”
“Yeah, I know, I’m sorry…what kind of condom are we using?” I wondered out loud.
“Lambskin. I’m allergic to latex and I get monthly HIV and STD tests. Should I be worried about you? To be honest, you don’t seem like the promiscuous type. How many sex partners have you had? One, maybe two?”
His flippant description of my sexual history was a bit humiliating. “You’re the second,” I whispered as I felt my face heat up.
“Listen, lambskin doesn’t protect against STDs but we’re both safe. You said you weren’t on anything and it will protect against pregnancy. As far as I am concerned, that is my only worry. I don’t make it a habit to bone my employees or random women and I trust you. Do you trust me?”
His sky blue eyes were so bright with lust and truth, I nodded before I could stop myself from doing anything different.
Liam nodded and flipped me over onto my stomach. “Do you like it rough? Is that what will make you pay attention to the here and now?”
“Yes,” I gasped.
He grabbed my hair as he entered me roughly from behind and f*cked me hard and rough. I lost myself in the moment and it was exhilarating. Nothing existed outside of his hard thrusts and the way his cock felt inside me, opening me, commanding me to obey his every thrust and his need to get off along with my own.
When one of his hands snaked between my legs and began to caress my *, I lost all sense of time and place. His breath, hot and heavy against my neck, drove me over the edge as he caressed me in a teasing way. He wasn’t trying to help me come in any way. The longer I held out, the more time he had to enjoy me and that was the point.
I lost count how many times he made me come that night or how many condoms we went through but it was more than three. As soon as I thought he was sated, he would be ready to go another round and as much as it embarrassed me to admit it, I felt the same way. I wasn’t ready for the night to end, not yet.
Around four in the morning, we were finally finished, physically and mentally exhausted. Liam liked to cuddle and he held me close in his arms, his lips kissing my neck and breathing my scent.
“No one can know this happened between us,” I finally said after a very long silence. “They will think you gave me the job because you were attracted to me and not because of my skills. Plus, the last thing I need is workplace gossip. It is going to be tough enough to be the new ‘girl’. I don’t need talk I’m just some whore who spreads her legs for the boss.”
Liam turned me toward him and kissed my nose. “It won’t get out because I am worried about employee gossip…it can’t get out because it would destroy Colin. He’s my brother and I know how he is. He likes you a lot and I couldn’t do that to him.”
My hands reached for his face and caressed the sides which were rough with new-growth though I could barely tell due to his fair hair. “So, protecting Colin is your highest priority? That makes me feel really good because I like him too but I couldn’t have done this with him so soon and not felt like a whore. I know it doesn’t matter I don’t have a lot of sexual partners but…I want him to take me seriously and if something happens between us, I want it to be special.”
“You mean not like this?” he inquired before he laughed out loud. “Don’t get me wrong, I think you are a great girl and if my brother wasn’t so crazy about you, I would definitely pursue you. Doesn’t matter I’ve had you many, many times tonight. I want you again. In my bed. Tomorrow night and the night after and the night after. But…I can’t do that to him. Colin’s suffered behind my selfish desires before and I won’t ever allow it to happen again. It isn’t fair to him because he’s truly a good person and he deserves to be happy.”
“And what about you? Do you not deserve happiness?”
Liam didn’t look at me as he lay on his stomach and stared at an atrocious Picasso he had hanging on his wall above his bed. “I don’t think I deserve happiness. I have always taken what I wanted whether it hurt someone or not. I have done anything I’ve desired and there are way too many hurt girlfriends I have left in my wake. I convince them they’re the one and they start having visions of us building a life together. Marriage, children, family time—until you, I have never met another woman I wanted to marry.
“Now that I know you’re not available, I will have to find someone else to feel this deeply for however I am betting it won’t happen. I’ll settle because it’s what I am good at. That’s not to say I won’t love her but I won’t be in love with her. Perhaps in the end, that is best. Being in love with someone is very dangerous and can cause all kinds trouble.”
I lay next to him on my back. Our arms brushed lightly and I could already feel the need inside me rise like an oncoming tide. “Perhaps you’re right. I have never been in love either although I can honestly say Drew is the closest I have ever come to loving anyone. He is a great guy and he’s going to make some woman very happy but it won’t be me.”
“Didn’t he move out here for you?”
“Yeah, he did. Right after the accident with my father. He abandoned his PhD and started working at the coffee shop and bar just like Colin. The guy is a genius and really good with computers but he’d rather waste his life on the sheer chance we might get back together. I feel horrible because I don’t want to mislead him. He’s my best friend and that is the way we should stay. We weren’t meant to be in a romantic relationship together,” I explained softly.
Liam threw his arm across my waist. “Why? He seems like a decent guy. Is it the whole bisexual thing?”
“No, not at all.” I looked his way and smiled. “Actually, I never had a problem with it because he never disrespected me and he never cheated on me—not that I know of though he was an outrageous flirt. We were a great couple. It just so happens he was my first love and as ridiculous as it sounds, I knew there was more out there in life I needed to discover. I could live a very happy life with Drew but then I would always wonder what I missed out on and why I was so afraid of living life?
“I didn’t ever want to have those feelings for him. I didn’t want to honestly think he’d kept me from living a very different life than the one we ended up with together. We needed to experience other people and see the world. It just wasn’t meant to be. At least not now, not at this time in our life.”
He curled underneath me. “Stay here, at least until the morning. You could shower and change back into your dress. I’ll take you back to Colin’s then.”
“And how do we convince your brother nothing happened between us if I do that?”
Liam smiled devilishly. “Leave that to me.”
I couldn’t resist his charm and I turned on to my side, away from him. He spooned me and somehow it felt okay and all right. I had to keep trying to convince myself we’d done nothing wrong. Neither of us were in a relationship at the moment so I hadn’t cheated and he hadn’t either. We were two adults of reasonable age who felt like having sex and were attracted to one another so we did.
What could possibly be wrong with the situation? Other than I cared for his brother way too much and what if we did become involved? Did I have to tell Colin what had happened between Liam and I? Would he want to know his brother knew every inch of my body intimately? Should I have to disclose anything at all? If the situation were reversed and Colin had slept with Caitlyn before we decided to involve ourselves in a relationship, would I expect him to tell me about it? Furthermore, would I really want to know?
The answers to these questions came quite easily as it was definitely no. I didn’t want to know about any other women he’d been with although I knew he had a history. No one made it to their late twenties and early thirties without developing a history of love and loss, heartache, pain and rejection. It was a part of life as sure as death and if one wanted to play naïve, that was fine but I liked to walk through life with my eyes wide open.
Unfortunately, I couldn’t keep myself from settling within Liam’s warm embrace and it was so easy to let myself go and fall asleep in his arms. His body was complete and utter magic. His skin felt warm and satisfying against my own and I loved being there next to him. More than anything, I felt safe even if I knew he wasn’t the man for me.
Part Two
The World Is Not Enough