Atonement

chapter Six





I COULD MAKE a list of comments about staying with Colin in his excessively overpriced eye-sore of a building but inconvenience wasn’t one of them. Th guy was an absolute genius and despite all the rumors I’d been subjected to, I had yet to see any real evidence he was anything other than a decent guy.

We shared cooking duties and I soon learned he was an excellent cook as well. He had a housekeeper who came by three days per week and as I had my volunteer work during the weekdays, I never met or saw her but I did know the condo was always neat and tidy.

We settled into a routine of late nights where we would share a couple of beers or a bottle of wine and talk about the places we’d been, what we would like to see and planned our trip in a roundabout sort of way. Neither of us were traveling newbies and had been to Europe more times than we could count. As Jeanette’s family still lived in Cornwall and my grandparents were comfortably situated in Strasbourg, I had taken more trips to the UK and France than I could shake a stick at therefore it was quite fun discussing past adventures with Colin.

Midway through the week, I began to panic because although he would come home nightly with reports about what places he had managed to snag for us through Airbnb, both of us seemed to overlook the most important part of the trip: plane tickets! We’d planned to leave a Sunday afternoon so we could arrive at a decent time on Monday but I still hadn’t purchased a ticket and as I needed to find out where he would rather be situated in the plane, I couldn’t bother to do it without his input into the matter.

It took all my concentration to get through my day at the half-way house before I left in a bit of a hurry and rushed over to O’Shaughnessy’s where Colin would be working until ten o’clock that evening. Though he owned a gas-guzzling yet very comfortable late-model Chevy Tahoe, he also owned a late-model black electric Smart car as well. As my cousin raced around town in my car, that left me without a vehicle to drive and he’d handed over the keys as if it were nothing.

The bar was packed as usual with the elite and hardworking from Seattle’s young and tech-savvy employed community. I found Colin behind the bar entertaining his brother, Liam, and a group of friends who had taken the best choice seating at the bar.

I tried to press through, feeling self-conscious and not very professional in a pair of skinny jeans and a man-sized gray cashmere sweater. The weather was starting to heat up by Seattle’s standards but it was far from being warm in the evenings.

A pair of hands wrapped around my waist and pulled me close. “Mmm, don’t you smell f*cking amazing?”

I smiled only slightly as I wouldn’t miss Liam’s voice if it was the last deep gravely voice I’d ever heard. Hell, he could give Vin Diesel a run for his money the moment words began to tumble from that sensuous mouth.

“Isn’t my brother the luckiest guy in the world?” Liam enthused to his friends as he held me a bit too close. I knew he was drunk though he didn’t slur his words but I also wondered if he had taken something else, nothing pharmaceutical but rather high-quality and hard to come by like grade-A cocaine.

“Colin and I are just roomies until Sunday!” I announced happily as I slapped his hands away and he whipped me around to face him.

“Roomies, huh? Does that mean I can tap this before you two go out of town?”

I rolled my eyes. “Liam, don’t be crass. I think my cousin wants to plan a little party before we leave so perhaps you would rather tap her ass. She’s more your type anyway,” I enthused.

“Nah, unless she’s blonde. I heard you and Caitlyn are related and that girl is smokin’! Won’t give me the time of day but perhaps you can make an introduction and soften her up a bit.”

The look in those intense sky blue eyes sent me over the edge but not enough I didn’t notice his hands were placed on my ass. “Perhaps if you let me go so I can talk to your brother, I just might make that introduction,” I whispered in his ear.

“It is true…I do like blondes…love ‘em in fact but…there is just something about you that sets my world on fire. What do you think it could be?” he inquired rhetorically.

“You know what? I wouldn’t have a clue.” I smiled ingratiatingly and reached the bar with very little room to spare.

It was a shame to admit but I really enjoyed observing Colin work. His brother might be sex on a stick but Colin was still very hot and I enjoyed watching him make mixed beverages like it was nothing, the casual way which he flirted with the scantily-clad cocktail waitresses but he never let it go past bantering. Oh, he was good, very good.

As soon as he managed a spare moment, he walked over and leaned over the bar before he delivered a chaste kiss on my right cheek. “Hey you. What’s the matter? If I didn’t know any better, you look like you have seen a ghost!”

“Nothing much, just roughed up by your drunk brother but what else is new?”

“What can I get you to drink?”

I thought long and hard before I answered, “An Evian. I have to drive back home.”

He snickered at this comment. “So many of these guys do and they are so beyond two sheets to the wind, it isn’t even funny.” Colin walked away and came back shortly with a bottle of Evian, a glass filled with ice and a twist of lemon at the top.

“Okay, so what’s going on? You never visit me here at work so it has to be serious.”

“Not serious,” I murmured. “Just a bit silly on our part for not thinking about it until now. It’s my own fault. You told me to just go with the flow but I had to start charts and maps and how much each ticket is going to cost, et cetera. I am an idiot.”

“What the hell did you do that could be so horrible?

“Neither one of us ordered the tickets to get over there. It’s three days before Sunday and those tickets are going to be beyond outrageous. What’s more, we probably won’t sit next to one another,” I explained in an exasperated manner.

Colin smiled until the whole grin too over his face. “Deirdre, I bought the tickets ages ago—at least four months ago—and although I didn’t have a clue who I was taking, it made buying the tickers that much easier. So, to put your mind at ease, the tickets have been bought.”

I couldn’t dare hide my embarrassment or the sudden rush of blood to my cheeks and face. I probably resembled a beetroot with a slight olive sheen but to say I felt like idiot of the year was an understatement.

So why did that same shame turn to an almost intense dislike and a feeling of being played a fool? It wasn’t funny he hadn’t decided to tell me he’s purchased the tickets and how the hell did he know to get two? We hadn’t even known one another when he’d bought them for Christ’s sake!

“Listen, don’t be angry. There was this insane deal Air France offered and I just snatched up two seats in La Première and figured if worse came to worse, I would have to go by myself. I certainly wasn’t looking forward to an experience like that but I would have done it.”

His crystal blue eyes stared into mine before he leaned on the bar until we were mere inches apart. His breath smelled like peppermint and his cologne was almost as intoxicating but I held myself back.

“Listen, I know I am going to sound like a world class jerk but I just knew someone would accompany me on that flight. I never dreamed in a million years it would be you but I am not going to apologize and tell you I’m sorry we’re going together. Where would the fun be in that? I am apologizing for not letting you know beforehand about the tickets. Can you forgive me?”

A warm, hard body pressed against my back and leaned into my ear, “Just forgive him for God’s sake. He made a mistake. You two seriously need to just f*ck and get over it already. All this chemistry and all the time you two have spent together—that is way more than enough time to decide whether you’re compatible or not.”

Colin rolled his eyes. “How about another shot, Liam?”

“Sure but only if the lady has one too!”

I turned to face Liam and he looked better than I remembered, even though he was well beyond the legal limit. He stared at me lasciviously as I inquired, “What are you drinking?”

“Grey Goose.”

“A man after my own heart,” I teased before I looked over my shoulder at a quietly fuming Colin. “Two shots of Grey Goose, bartender!”

If he could, he would have gone through fifty shades of crimson but he settled on beet red and turned away as he threw a white hand towel over his shoulder and began to prepare the drinks.

Liam pulled me into his arms, his prominent erection way too uncomfortable against my body despite the clothes I wore. “Listen, I know how much you two are into one another but…seriously, I have a little proposition to discuss with you. We can get a booth and I could tell you all about it.”

Colin set down the two shots of Grey Goose and I downed mine at the bar while Liam eyed me before doing the same. “Hey Colin, can you make us two dirty martinis please?”

“Sure thing, bro,” he said as if the words were poison.

“So, what is this you want to talk to me about?”

Liam winked at me. “Let’s wait for the drinks, darlin’. So, you excited about this trip you and Colin are taking?”

I nodded. “I need to get away and this seems like the best time to do it. I miss my dad like crazy but life goes on and lately, I’ve had a hard time of doing that. Your father suggested the trip and now that I have had a chance to consider my options, it’s for the best. Staying here in Seattle, wallowing over my loss and feeling sorry for myself hasn’t helped. I just feel like everyone—my mom, Caitlyn—has moved on and I’m just stuck in this place of inertia all on my own. It sucks and if the trip can help me snap out of it then it’s all good, right?”

“True,” he replied as his eyes glazed over. He seemed to be deep in thought as a feeling of guilt washed over his face. It was weird because I barely knew the guy and the last thing I needed was yet another person showering me with pity.

Colin delivered the drinks and Liam’s mood did a one-eighty as he grabbed them and I was forced to make my way through the crowded bar. We finally found an unused booth in the back and sat down. Miraculously, he hadn’t spilt any of our drinks and the dirty martinis were perfect as usual.

The moment I tasted mine, I knew Colin was some sort of genius when it came to mixing drinks. It was absolutely lovely with just the amount of each ingredient and the drink went down smoothly.

“Okay, let’s get this out of the way because I don’t want to cause any rifts between you and your brother. I like you, you’re a decent guy but nothing is going to happen between us, is that clear?” I announced after I’d worked my way through half my martini.

“Wow. It really isn’t like that. Colin and I are just super competitive but I know how much he likes you and I am certainly not trying to herd in on his territory. What can I say? I enjoy busting his balls and making him crazy jealous but I respect you two like each other and I wouldn’t dare try to get you in bed with me. Not intentionally at least…” he trailed off.

“Well then maybe you oughta slow down your alcohol intake or you might do something you’ll regret and then I’ll have to use my self-defense skills.”

Liam downed his dirty martini and held his hands up in truce mode. “Hey, we wouldn’t want that. All I know is you are a beautiful young woman and Colin told me you went to our Alma Mater. A Harvard grad, eh? What did you get your Bachelors in?”

“Business Administration. I was working on my PhD when my dad’s accident happened so technically, I have my Bachelors and MBA but I don’t have my PhD. Not that it matters but I thought I should mention that.”

“You’re qualified enough and besides the position is a dream for a professional student like you. I’m going to rescue you from a life of volunteering and not doing much else. Eventually, you will have to get a job. A resume filled with college degrees and volunteer work is great but not every company is as progressive as ours. We like to spot talent and from where I am sitting, you have it coming out of your pores if you were to apply yourself,” Liam explained all business-like all the sudden despite his level of intoxication.

I snickered. “If I didn’t know any better I’d think you were trying to offer me a job. It’s kind of hard to start a round of interviews when I will be out of the country for the next month or so.”

“Actually, you wouldn’t have to interview for the position. I am a partner with a controlling interest in uConnect. I want someone for the company, my partners aren’t going to even question my decision. The job is yours if you want it. After you get back from Europe. Elaine doesn’t leave until four months from now anyway but you can shadow her for the first three months and once she does leave, you should be okay to hit the ground off and running.”

I leaned against my arm as the alcohol I’d consumed on an empty stomach began to catch up with me. “So, what is this position?”

“Human Resources manager. Yeah, I know, you have a MBA but that makes you more than capable for the position. The salary is six figures and the benefits are excellent. Not quite two months vacation but you do get twenty days vacation as long as you’re willing to not take it all at one time. The hours are pretty normal. You might have to work some overtime but nothing too drastic. How does that sound you?”

I finished the rest of my dirty martini. “Seriously, why are you doing this for me? Is this some kind of pity offering or is it because I know Colin?”

Liam’s blue eyes stared at me as if I’d lost my mind. “You’re highly qualified and to be honest, we’re a pretty incestuous company. We don’t hire much from the outside. People just continue to move up the ranks and we actually run an internship program. Those who are successful get a job at the bottom and they have the ability to work their way up. It’s perfect and it keeps the company young, vibrant and full of people with fresh, new ideas.

“The partners and I usually go through our friends’ lists when a position comes up and there isn’t anyone qualified within the company to take the position. It’s worked out so far and it helps us hire American workers—you know, the whole get Americans’ back to work banter. We actually practice it and on top of that, we get fat tax breaks for hiring locally. Most of the company consists of Americans though we have people who have family that immigrated here from every corner of the world. We’re also one of Seattle’s most diverse companies and that makes me proud. Why wouldn’t you want to work for us?”

I rolled my eyes and tried not to feel too badly about all the accolades he was pouring on me. Yes, I was more than qualified for the position but it would definitely be something I would want to discuss with Colin first. However, we were not going out and he wasn’t my significant other. It was ultimately my decision and in a split second, despite my own intoxication, I’d made my choice.

“Sure, I would love to work for uConnect.”

Liam’s eyes lit up as a sly smile crossed his lips. “You won’t regret this. Come by the headquarters tomorrow and ask for me. We’ll get all your paperwork taken care of. I don’t want to give you an excuse to back out.”

“I won’t back out. I have given you my word, haven’t I? What time is good for you?”

“How about eleven in the morning? I usually take a late lunch and I have a meeting scheduled at one.”

“See you then.” I slid out of the booth before I stood and held out my hand to shake his.

He slid out of the booth and stood rather gracefully for someone who was quite drunk. Instead of taking my hand, he slipped his arms around my waist and planted a kiss on my cheek just near my lips. “That’s the only time I could do that and not be accused of sexual harassment, Ms. Bardot.”

I watched as Liam walked away and joined his buddies. My first thought was to say something to Colin but I turned and legged it out of there. We could talk later.





“THE ONLY REASON why he is offering you the position is because he’s sexually attracted to you, can’t you see that?”

I glared at Colin and tried to keep my temper in check. He wasn’t Drew and if I really expressed how I felt at that moment, he might take it the wrong way. Sadly, no man—except my father—knew me as well as Drew did and it was best not to push the situation.

“Not to lay too fine a point on the subject but I do have an MBA from Harvard. Are you saying if I was ugly he wouldn’t have looked at me nor offered me the position?”

Colin sighed and stood from my bed. “No, not necessarily. You are overqualified and we both know it but…I just wanted you to enjoy your time in Europe. Now, all you’re going to do is observe from a distance and dream about getting back here so you can start work.”

“It had to happen sometime.” I tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. “Listen, whether or not my sister believes you have jobs that you are overqualified for, you still work. All I do is volunteer. I need to put something on my resume. I’m almost twenty-nine years old and I have never had a job that wasn’t volunteering or doing something for the community. Yes, it is quite honorable but one of these days, I am going to have to start paying into Social Security and what’s a better time than now? After we get back from Europe? It’s a fresh start for me and perhaps I can finally move past my father’s death and all this ‘woe is me’ crap. I don’t like being the victim and I won’t be played like one either.”

“What are you trying to say, Deirdre? There is something wrong with you feeling guilty for what happened to your father? For missing him and mourning his death? You’re human and nothing you have done has been out of character for anyone who has ever lost someone close to them.”

“Yeah, I know but I still feel like I’m hiding and I don’t want to do that anymore. I don’t want to be that angsty girl who can’t let anyone in for fear something might happen to them. That’s not how the world works. We live in precarious times and I want to enjoy life and all the great things about it. I am tired of wallowing in my own misery. It’s been long enough and I have officially run out of excuses,” I explained in a rush of emotion and feeling.

Damn, it felt good just to speak them but for the first time, I actually believed my own words and that was even better.





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