It used to be that when people would accomplish something amazing, they would enjoy the moment and celebrate with friends and family. Today when you accomplish something great, it’s a failure unless you capture it on Snapchat (bonus points if you’re using the puppy filter!). That’s wack. As someone who has a career built around social media, I love capturing big moments and I encourage you to do so as well. BUT not at the expense of enjoying the moment in real time. When you are experiencing something exciting, beautiful, or rewarding, try to disconnect and just take the moment in. For example, when you go to a concert, as soon as the lights go down, everyone pulls out their phone. Why? You have three hours to take a picture or capture a video; why would you choose this very first moment to do so? Why not embrace the moment? View it through your own eyes instead of a screen. Then, during a slow song, when your panties are in less of a bunch, take a picture and satisfy that craving.
Now, when I experience something amazing, I pause and try to be in the moment. During my last trip to Singapore, I was alone, sitting by the famous Marina Bay Sands infinity pool, which is essentially a giant floating pool high up in the sky. I took a picture, vlogged a little, and then put all my electronics away. I climbed into the pool, positioned myself at the edge, and spent twenty minutes staring out at the cityscape, admiring its beauty. During those twenty minutes I thanked God for the opportunity, I looked at each building, I appreciated the cuteness of the family swimming to the right of me, I thought about my incredible career, and I felt the water against my skin. In that moment, I was totally present. I was nowhere else except that pool. That twenty-minute pause gave me the fuel I needed to keep going in the weeks to come.
When I meet people I admire, I take ten minutes out of my day to think about the meeting, smile about it, and fangirl. If I win an award, I will go through the rounds of speeches, media, and celebrations, but then I will sit by myself and hold the trophy for a few minutes in silence. If I want to continue working as hard as possible, I need to FEEL and truly EXPERIENCE the fruits of my labor. Inspiration fuels the hustle, and what better inspiration than enjoying the results of your hard work? Don’t cheat yourself by blazing through your life. Reflection is necessary and should be on your to-do list.
Life is like one giant YouTube video: it’s amazing to experience, but when too many things are happening at once, you begin to lag. You try waiting it out, but sure enough, the lagging just gets worse and worse. Now you’re just frozen. You are Elsa. That’s not enjoyable for anyone, especially not you. So what do you do? Pause the video and regroup. Once you’ve had a moment to load up, press play again, and see how much your quality has improved. That pause in your life is your responsibility. So press pause every once in a while and savor the moment.
OUT OF THE BLUE
2009 I hate this feeling. I hate it so much because it doesn’t even feel like a feeling anymore; it just feels like who I am. I’m this broken human sitting on the floor in her basement. At this same moment, other people are probably having dinner, traveling with their loved ones, reading a great book, or laughing with their best friends. I bet they’re all doing something amazing. But not me. Instead I’m curled up in a ball, leaning against the bar in my basement, with my face in my hands. I can’t stop crying. I can’t control my breathing. I’m powerless against the whirlwind of negative thoughts and angry voices that are constantly assaulting me.
Why have people hurt me? Why do people lie? Am I so worthless that people feel they can easily dismiss me? Am I that insignificant a human being? I don’t get it. I have been through so many heartaches in life and I’ve always persevered. But this time is different. After years of standing tall in my corner, life has landed the final punch to my chest and I’ve gone tumbling down. I don’t know how to get back up. And, truthfully, I don’t know if my life is worth getting back up for. How did I get here? Growing up, I had high hopes for myself. I was an imaginative kid who had crazy dreams of becoming a rapper, hanging out with The Rock, and traveling the world. But today I have none of that. I’ve been robbed of my confidence, strength, and imagination.
I take a huge gulp of whiskey that is now seasoned with my pathetic tears. It burns my throat and I practically gag from the horrible, unfamiliar taste. I don’t drink. I’ve never had a desire to drink alcohol. Yet here I am, drinking alone, just hoping that I’ll be able to fall asleep soon. I am so disgusted with my situation that I start insulting myself out loud. I raise my glass. “Cheers to you, Lilly. Cheers for being the most pathetic person you know. Cheers to being that idiot everyone lies to. A big cheers for ever thinking you were someone special. I hope you know better than that now. And finally, cheers to another horrible night.” I’ve hit rock bottom.
2015 My hand is shaking as I hold my glass up. I’m in my hotel room with my team. I cannot stop the whirlwind of exhilarating thoughts. We clink glasses. “Cheers! We’re going to the MTV Movie Awards!”
Last night I mustered up all my courage and messaged my childhood hero, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, because I knew he’d be attending the event. We’ve recently become text friends, but I haven’t yet met him. I’m so nervous I couldn’t sleep at all last night. Fast-forward to today. I’m FREAKING OUT.
I look in the mirror. I smile as I look into my own eyes. How is this my life? How did I manage to pick myself up from the darkest time in my life? I’m so proud of myself.
I’m in my seat sipping champagne as I try to take it all in. The room is full of celebrities I admire, magnificent set pieces, and glamorous outfits. Oh, and hey, that’s Zac Efron. God, he’s hot. ping Wait, did he just say “ping”?! No. Wait. That was my phone. I just received a text: Lilly, come to the greenroom. He’s here.
I AM NOT OKAY. I enter the greenroom and see Dwayne from across the room. My knees begin to shake. Maybe this is a joke?! But then … Dwayne turns and notices me. He interrupts the man he’s speaking to and says, “Hey, sorry, give me a second. I’ve got to meet someone really important.”
Dwayne gives me a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. He knows my name. He knows about my tour. He knows my catchphrases. He says he’s my fan.
I get back to my hotel room and sit on my bed. I’m so overwhelmed that I start talking to myself out loud: “You deserve this, Lilly. Keep going and don’t you dare stop now.” Suddenly tears are streaming down my face. I can’t stop crying. But now they are tears of happiness. I can’t believe I get to meet the man who delivers “The Rock Bottom.”
PART 2
HUSTLE HARDER
Now that you and your mind are BFFs, you can work together to focus on your goals. In this section you will learn best practices for getting work done, getting rid of distractions, staying organized, and creating meaningful success. Be forewarned that success isn’t easily obtained. If you want to be a Bawse, you’ll need to hustle. And then hustle harder.