PEOPLE OFTEN ASK me if I have a clone—how do I manage to get so much done? A true Bawse is able to get a LOT done in one day, and as a result, people can’t help but wonder, “Do they sleep?” I get that question a lot. The answer is yes, I sleep. I love sleep. But when I’m awake, I’m awake 2.0. That means I treat my waking hours like I’m making up for the time I’ve spent asleep. I want to do so much in a day that when my head hits my pillow at night, I’m exhausted and feel I’ve earned the right to catch some z’s. Many people I admire all share this quality, this relentless work ethic that allows them to complete tasks back to back throughout their day. My friends always joke that they need to pretend to be doing work around me in order to keep up. I’m not telling you this to brag (although, heyyyy); I’m telling you because I’m now going to let you in on what keeps me going. The key to hustling hard is to pause.
You can only work relentlessly on something if you ENJOY doing it. If I hated Superwoman and everything she entailed, there’s no way I could wake up, check forty emails, write a script, attend a meeting, check thirty more emails, record a video, edit the video, do a conference call, release the video, do an interview, and also vlog throughout it all. It’s a bit easier to bear a nine-to-five job that you hate because you know that at 5:00 P.M. you’re checking out, speeding away in your car while giving the middle finger in your rearview mirror. But if you have a career or goal that consumes your entire day, you need to like it to succeed. Enjoying what you do is the only way you can commit so much time and energy to your work. But let’s be real, no matter how much you enjoy something, it can still wear you down. So how do you stay in love with your work? How do you wake up next to it every morning and still feel excited about how sexy it is? You pause. You can only enjoy something if you take a moment to appreciate it and pay attention to it. That’s why you slowly take the first bite of your dessert instead of gobbling up the entire thing. You savor it.
When you’re a Bawse and hustling every day, life can seem like it’s speeding past you. Decisions need to be made TODAY, you have ten urgent emails that need to be answered RIGHT NOW, three people need you to call them ASAP, and you have two deadlines for TONIGHT. Your days, weeks, and months—your whole life—can start seeming like a blur, and you’re just trying to see straight. I’ve learned that I thrive with this kind of schedule (or at least that’s what I’ve convinced myself). I am like the Energizer bunny: I never think I’ll burn out. But I did once, and that’s when I learned the importance of pausing.
I was attending a camp in Italy with some really cool people, and I was totally star-struck. One of those people was Pharrell Williams, and I would be lying if I said I didn’t internally fangirl while meeting him. When I arrived in Italy I was very tired, hoping to relax and sleep in. Prior to this trip I’d been in L.A. for two hours to pack, gone to Montreal to accept an award, done a fifteen-hour music video shoot, and attended a movie premiere after a morning of doing press, all while participating in meetings and making my weekly videos. When I arrived in Italy, I sat on my hotel bed and opened my itinerary with excitement. The first thing I saw was “Day starts at 8:00 A.M.,” and I instantly went numb. 8:00 A.M.? Why? WHY 8:00 A.M.? WHY NOT PASTA AND COCKTAILS AT A SOLID 2:00 P.M. BY THE POOL?! Or 1:45 if you’re feeling professional.
The next morning I woke up and started the day at 8:00 A.M., feeling completely indifferent about my day ahead, despite the fact that I was in this amazing place with amazing people. I felt numb while I ate breakfast and felt even more numb at the first event I attended. But it wasn’t until my conversation with Pharrell that I knew I was totally burned out and needed some down time. There I was, in Italy, on the way to an ancient temple to have dinner under the stars, and sitting in front of Pharrell Williams, who was telling me all about his life experiences, and the only thought I had was, “I can’t wait to go to sleep.” How ridiculous and ungrateful a thought! That’s the result of going and going and going and not giving yourself a moment to pause and reflect on why you’re even going in the first place. The reason I “go” is because I crave amazing life experiences. My most prized accomplishments have nothing to do with money or status and everything to do with meeting cool people and experiencing unique things in different places around the world. Yet there I was, having an amazing experience but yearning for my bed. What a sad thing it is to work so hard and yet be unable to enjoy the fruits of your labor.
Since that camp, I have become a lot better at pausing and reflecting. Here are a couple ways I do it:
MEDITATE
Whenever I tell people I meditate, they assume I wake up at 5:00 A.M. every day, put my legs behind my head, recite hymns, and bathe with flowers. No. Five in the morning? Are you kidding me? That’s when I sleep. Also, if I could put my legs behind my head, well, my love life would be a lot different. I don’t know how to meditate in accordance with any textbook, religion, or culture, nor do I do it every day. I’ve made up my own version of meditation that works for me, and I encourage you to do the same. I do it when I’m feeling stressed, tired, upset, or ungrateful, or when I have any other negative emotion that I’m trying to defuse.
Here’s what I do: I sit on the floor, cross-legged, in a quiet place. I find somewhere that is away from any noise or other people, somewhere shut off, like a closet or small bedroom. I light a candle and place it on the floor in front of me. I use a candle labeled “positive energy,” but I can’t say for sure that it really does anything. (I’m easily sold by wonderful marketing. There’s no shame in my game.) With my eyes closed, I take a few deep breaths and slowly smile as genuinely as I possibly can. I’m not smiling for a camera or for someone else, but because I’m alone and I can be alone with my smile. Then I whisper things to myself. I talk about what’s bothering me, what I want to achieve, how I want my day to go, what I want to improve, or what I’m scared of. Whatever I end up saying, I always end my meditation practice in the same way: I remind myself of all the amazing things I have AND that I am my own best advocate.
Why do I do this? One, because it genuinely calms me down and makes me feel better, and two, because in a day that’s so go-go-go, I want to pay attention to my feelings and not just dismiss them. If I’m feeling upset, I deserve to take a few moments for myself. I’m pausing so I can remember that I enjoy the experience of hustling, which therefore allows me to continue hustling. There have been many times when I’ve felt the need to meditate but my schedule didn’t allow for it. When that happens, I kindly request a fifteen-minute pause so I can get my energy in the right place. That’s not selfish. That pause is beneficial to me and everyone else who is relying on me to be efficient and productive.
DISCONNECT