Here are some ideas:
??If you’re potty-mouthed, don’t swear for twenty-four hours. If you fail, reset your time.
??If you are a major carnivore, become a vegetarian for two days. If you fail, reset your time.
??If you nibble on your fingers, don’t bite your nails for a day. If you fail, reset your time.
I’m not trying to imply that swearing is wrong and people who eat meat are bad. That’s not what this is about. This is about challenging yourself to control something that has become a habit. The more you do this, the better you’ll be at exhibiting self-control in other areas of your life, like procrastinating and getting lost on BuzzFeed. I promise you, number four isn’t ever that exciting!
When you find ways to work your self-control muscle, you’ll develop stamina. When I moved to L.A., there was a period of two months when I didn’t have an assistant. As a result, my workload doubled and I had to work twice as hard to keep my business from falling apart. One of the most difficult tasks was editing my daily vlogs, something my assistant would usually do. After I’d been working for hours on a scripted video, the idea of spending twenty minutes to edit a vlog seemed torturous. But every night I would crawl into bed, open my laptop, and edit the vlog. Tears of exhaustion would stream down my cheeks. But pushing myself for those last twenty minutes not only made the reward of sleep so incredibly sweet but also helped me hustle that much harder throughout the day. Suddenly I could write a script for twenty more minutes before calling it quits. I could write ten more emails than usual before turning off my computer. Whereas before I would ignore the sink full of dishes before going to sleep, now I was suddenly rolling up my sleeves and getting the job done. I was flexing my self-control muscle like THE BEACH IS THAT WAY!
Here’s a little food for thought: If you’re constantly struggling to exercise self-control when it comes to finishing your work, maybe it’s time to question your work. A lot of people ask me how I’m able to work twelve hours straight on a task, and this question always confuses me. I don’t feel like I’m always pushing myself, and that’s because I enjoy what I do. When you like what you do, you’re motivated to keep doing it. In other words, a very basic way of having self-control is to do something you like.
Behind every successful person is a relentless work ethic, the ability to block out distractions, and a well-defined six-pack of self-control. Find creative ways to work your self-control and keep making it stronger. Unlike your abs, this muscle needs to be fit even during the winter, so get to work.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some sweet, sweet Netflix to watch.
Let’s Work
Make a list of self-control challenges that work for you. Start with a twenty-four-hour challenge and work your way up from there.
TAKE A LOOK AROUND. Are you in the middle of the ocean? Did your ship just sink? If you’re unsure, please check your iCal to determine if you recently boarded the Titanic. If yes, please try harder to fit two people on that floating door because I promise you it’s possible. At the very least, you could take turns so no one has to die. If your answer is no, you’re not on the Titanic, then why are you acting as if you need to survive life right now? If you’re able to read this book, chances are you have been blessed with the tools necessary within and around you to not just survive life but conquer it.
Earlier in my life I didn’t know the difference between surviving and conquering. I didn’t think it mattered how I completed a task, as long as I achieved what I needed to achieve. It wasn’t until I went on my first tour that I learned what a difference it can make not just to do something to get by but to do something to make a statement. My tour consisted of thirty-one shows in twenty-six cities across the world, and as you can imagine, it was exhausting, both mentally and physically. The first few shows were in India, truly across the planet, in a different time zone with different food and an extremely different climate to adjust to. These were all additional challenges to the already difficult task of putting on a good show. Our tour started with six back-to-back shows in different cities within India, each requiring a plane ride to get to. When you begin a tour under these conditions you can’t help but enter survival mode immediately. As a result, for the first eight or so shows of my tour, I acted like a character on The Walking Dead. Before going onstage I would say to myself, “Okay, just get through this show, Lilly. You can survive this.” I’d walk onstage, the crowd would cheer, I would go through the motions very carefully and play it safe, and then two hours later I’d walk offstage feeling great about surviving another run.
This went on for the first few shows until, before my ninth show, I tried something new. I was feeling myself that day and I could hear the crowd going wild well before the show was scheduled to start. I don’t know if it was because of the extra sleep I might have gotten the night before or if I’d eaten some particularly delicious french fries that day, but a voice inside me said, “You know what? Don’t just go out there and go through the motions. Go out there and absolutely kill it.” I promised myself that I would deliver my jokes better than ever before, nail my choreography with complete confidence, and put on the most charismatic show of my life. I wouldn’t simply check this show off my list; I would go out there and change lives. I riled myself up, chugged some water, made a pinky promise to myself, and ran out onto the stage. The energy was explosive as I jumped with excitement during parts of my choreography, something I’ve never done before. My dancers noticed and their excitement and energy increased tenfold as well. I added another layer of flair and fun to my jokes. I made my faces a little sillier, moved my body a little goofier, and held my pauses a little longer. When I made my motivational speech toward the end of the show, I didn’t just recite the lines but truly felt each word I was saying with intense emotion.
Two hours later I finished the show, and as our tradition called for, my dancers received me at the side of the stage with open arms. Even though the show was over, I could sense a new type of excitement from them because they felt the new energy I had brought that evening. The crowd’s reaction was bigger than it had been at any of our previous shows, and we all felt it in our veins. Of course, I was twice as exhausted, but I was also twice as proud, and I’d had twice as much fun than ever before. From then on, my pre-show pep talk wasn’t about survival—it was about conquering. At each show I would move energetically around the stage, laugh at my own jokes, and connect with people. At the beginning of each show I would think of new ways to do it bigger and better. Sometimes I would add a line to my script or change something up just to give my dancers some shock and excitement onstage.