Tricks for Free (InCryptid #7)

Lesser gorgon (Gorgos euryale). One of three known subspecies of gorgon, the lesser gorgon’s gaze causes short-term paralysis followed by death in anything under five pounds. The bite of the snakes atop their heads will cause paralysis followed by death in anything smaller than an elephant if not treated with the appropriate antivenin. Lesser gorgons tend to be very polite, especially to people who like snakes.

Lilu (Lilu sapiens). Due to the striking dissimilarity of their abilities, male and female Lilu are often treated as two individual species: incubi and succubi. Incubi are empathic; succubi are persuasive telepaths. Both exude strong pheromones inspiring feelings of attraction and lust in the opposite sex. This can be a problem for incubi like our cousin Artie, who mostly wants to be left alone, or succubi like our cousin Elsie, who gets very tired of men hitting on her while she’s trying to flirt with their girlfriends.

Madhura (Homo madhurata). Humanoid cryptids with an affinity for sugar in all forms. Vegetarian. Their presence slows the decay of organic matter, and is usually viewed as lucky by everyone except the local dentist. Madhura are very family-oriented, and are rarely found living on their own. Originally from the Indian subcontinent.

Manananggal (Tanggal geminus). If the manananggal is proof of anything, it is that Nature abhors a logical classification system. We’re reasonably sure the manananggal are mammals; everything else is anyone’s guess. They’re hermaphroditic and capable of splitting their upper and lower bodies, although they are a single entity, and killing the lower half kills the upper half as well. They prefer fetal tissue, or the flesh of newborn infants. They are also venomous, as we have recently discovered. Do not engage if you can help it.

Oread (Nymphae silica). Humanoid cryptids with the approximate skin density of granite. Their actual biological composition is unknown, as no one has ever been able to successfully dissect one. Oreads are extremely strong, and can be dangerous when angered. They seem to have evolved independently across the globe; their common name is from the Greek.

Sasquatch (Gigantopithecus sesquac). These massive native denizens of North America have learned to embrace depilatories and mail-order shoe catalogs. A surprising number make their living as Bigfoot hunters (Bigfeet and Sasquatches are close relatives, and enjoy tormenting each other). They are predominantly vegetarian, and enjoy Canadian television.

Tanuki (Nyctereutes sapiens). Therianthrope shapeshifters from Japan, the Tanuki are critically endangered due to the efforts of the Covenant. Despite this, they remain friendly, helpful people, with a naturally gregarious nature which makes it virtually impossible for them to avoid human settlements. Tanuki possess three primary forms—human, raccoon dog, and big-ass scary monster. Pray you never see the third form of the Tanuki.

Ukupani (Ukupani sapiens). Aquatic therianthropes native to the warm waters of the Pacific Islands, the Ukupani were believed for centuries to be an all-male species, until Thomas Price sat down with several local fishermen and determined that the abnormally large Great White sharks that were often found near Ukupani males were, in actuality, Ukupani females. Female Ukupani can’t shapeshift, but can eat people. Happily. They are as intelligent as their shapeshifting mates, because smart sharks are exactly what the ocean needed.

Wadjet (Naja wadjet). Once worshipped as gods, the male wadjet resembles an enormous cobra, capable of reaching seventeen feet in length when fully mature, while the female wadjet resembles an attractive human female. Wadjet pair-bond young, and must spend extended amounts of time together before puberty in order to become immune to one another’s venom and be able to successfully mate as adults.

Waheela (Waheela sapiens). Therianthrope shapeshifters from the upper portion of North America, the waheela are a solitary race, usually claiming large swaths of territory and defending it to the death from others of their species. Waheela mating season is best described with the term “bloodbath.” Waheela transform into something that looks like a dire bear on steroids. They’re usually not hostile, but it’s best not to push it.





PLAYLIST:


Everybody needs a soundtrack, and Antimony is no different. Here are some songs to rock you through her adventures.

“I’m Sexy, I’m Cute” by Bring It On “Work, Bitch” by Britney Spears

“Brilliant Disguise” by Bruce Springsteen “Don’t Threaten Me With a Good Time” by Panic! At the Disco “The Secret Lives of the Dead” by Tettix “Ghost” by Belle Histoire

“Mad World, Outlive Me” by Amelia Curran “Stick It To The Man” by School of Rock: The Musical “Burn” by Mad at Gravity

“Help, I’m Alive” by Metric

“Teach Me To Be Bad” by Thea Gilmore “Situation Critical” by Overwatch original soundtrack “Hold Me Up” by We’re About 9

“Please” by Ludo

“Nothing to Remember” by Neko Case “All This and Heaven Too” by Florence and the Machine “Lucky Me” by Sarah Slean

“Get Lucky” by Halestorm

“Haunted” by Taylor Swift

“Rock All Night” by Court Yard Hounds “Hit Me With Your Best Shot” by Pat Benetar “Falling in Hate” by Five Finger Death Punch “Bend the Rules” by Saybia “Cry Baby” by Melanie Martinez

“Crossroads” by Bekah Kelso

“Heads Will Roll” by Yeah Yeah Yeahs “Any Way You Want It” by Journey “Girl in a Car” by Kris Delmhorst





ACKNOWLEDGMENTS:


Here we go again: Antimony Price, best jammer in the family, is still on the track and refusing to step aside. She’s done enough to earn herself a bonus lap, and she’ll be back for book eight, That Ain’t Witchcraft. Honestly, I couldn’t be happier. This series is a joy to write, and Annie only makes it better. I can’t wait for you to see what she gets up to now that she’s finally put her dream team into action. It’s going to be a lot of things. It’s sure not going to be boring.

This book really delved deep into my knowledge of theme parks, and thanks go to everyone who has ever accompanied me to one of those dream destinations, especially Vixy, Amy, Brooke, and the glories of the Chicago contingent. Thanks to Anthony, Doc, and David for answering questions, and to Kelly and Daniel for putting up with my idiosyncratic approach to tourism. Thanks to my newest theme park buddies, Torrey and Wish, and to Alexis, for not getting mad when I started breeding giant insects in the front room.

Phil remains responsible for much of what goes on around here, and I sometimes feel like we don’t thank-slash-blame him enough. So thanks, Phil. Also thanks to Megan, the real one, who didn’t know that she was going to be joining the Lowry medical program, and to Priscilla Spencer for her amazing map of Lowryland.

The machete squad continues to be absolutely amazing, and I would be lost without them. Kory Bing illustrates the amazing Field Guide to the Cryptids of North America, which you can visit at my website—bring a net—while Tara O’Shea’s dingbat and website design remains top-notch. I have the best team, y’all. Thanks to everyone at DAW for continuing to put up with my antics, and to my wonderful publicity team at Penguin Random House.

You may have noticed that our cover art has changed a bit. Aly Fell was unavailable for this book, due to personal reasons, and Lee Moyer was able to step in at the last moment. I am so grateful to both of them for helping to keep the “look” of the series consistent.

I have settled comfortably in Washington State since our last little chat, and I love it up here. My mother, Micki McGuire, has been key in making sure our new little household runs smoothly, but she’s not the only one. Jennifer Brozek has been tapped repeatedly for catsitting duties, while Michelle Dockrey has fully stepped into her role as my local personal assistant, and makes sure my email doesn’t actually eat me. It’s a risk. Thanks to everyone here in the Seattle community for being so welcoming. You’re great.