She let out a long sigh. “You know that nursing home gives me the creeps. The place smells like piss, and I feel uncomfortable sitting there, with her not even knowing who I am.”
It was hard to sympathize with Megan when she only thought of herself. His mother had been sweet to her two years ago when they’d met, but her good days were few and far between since the death of his father the year before, just a month before Darek’s wedding to Megan. Megan had only gone to see her a few times, and Darek had put up with Megan’s asshole father an unfair amount in contrast.
Before he let himself get too upset, he took a deep breath. He couldn’t blame her and knew his own discomfort would only be magnified by a hundred with Megan being twitchy nearby. At least in those quiet moments with his mother, he could rest his mind.
“Yeah, I understand,” he said. “I wouldn’t want you to be uncomfortable.” She looked up from her phone and gave him a smile as he continued. “I have to meet Max. He called and said we have a live one.”
She crinkled her nose in disgust. “That’s so gross. I don’t see how you do your job.”
“The person was someone’s family, Megan. Someone has to bring them justice. And not all the bodies are gross. There’s no competition for prettiest corpse.” If there was, she’d be first in line finding a way to claim the crown.
“They’re dead; they’re gross.” She curled her lip. “I don’t want to talk about this over my morning coffee. Will you be late again?” She pegged him with a hard glare.
He poured some coffee into his to-go cup. “I don’t know. Depends on what I find when I get there. But I’ll call you and let you know.”
She slid off her barstool and walked over to straighten his collar. “Call me.” She leaned in and gave him a quick peck. He pulled her closer, needing to taste her tongue against his. The vanilla coffee was a welcome flavor, but then she pulled away and left him to go to the other room.
“I love you,” he called out as she hit the nearest door to their living room.
“Oh, sure. Love you, honey.” And just like that, he felt dismissed.
He got into his car and adjusted the mirror. His lack of amusement in his home life was creased in his brow. He was beginning to feel like he was in a rut and hoped that he’d hear something from the Bureau soon.
Megan wanted him to be a special agent before she gave birth to their child, and at this rate, neither would ever happen. Maybe he didn’t want it to. He couldn’t exactly see himself as a father, but he knew if he ever had that privilege, he’d be better than his old man had.
His father, a wartime veteran, took discipline to a whole new level. Weakness was not an option. You fell down; you got up. You got pushed down; you fought back, unless it was him doing the pushing. Then, you had better show some respect and know your place.
He never failed to tell his son how much of a pussy he was, or a letdown. Darek had even joined the force because of his father, but not because he’d wanted him to. His father wanted his son to enlist with the Marine Corps, just like him, but he wasn’t about following the man or pleasing him. Not joining was the only way he could stand up to the old man without literally punching him the face, and he took the opportunity as soon as possible.
Once Darek’s achievements started to build into a career as a detective, he knew he’d found his calling, and joining the FBI seemed like a no-brainer. But then, his anxiety worsened shortly after his father passed away, and he’d struggled to keep it together. His focus was off, and he felt a permanent imbalance. Through lots of therapy and medication, he was finally doing a bit better, and the late nights by the pier were doing their trick.
It wasn’t that he didn’t want to go home to his beautiful wife and make love and babies, but in a way, he didn’t feel like he deserved it.
On those nights away from home, he would stare for hours at the skyline, the twinkling rainbow of colors that were scattered across the night sky. He’d sip his beer and let his mind take him where it wanted. Most of the time, it was through his day or past week, and sometimes, he’d go way back, letting whatever little grains of a memory slip into his mind like sand in an hourglass. Not all of his past thoughts were pleasant, and thankfully, the new meds were helping to keep them at bay. Some things, the brain pushed to the depths, deep in the murky waters of the mind, so that a person could cope. That was where they belonged.
Just after his father’s death, something had triggered, bringing back the darkness, the self-loathing, and pain that had caused his episodes. Thankfully now, when he sat at the river in a fog, it wasn’t because he was fighting those old demons. Still, whatever had haunted him before his break was lurking beneath the surface, and even though he knew it was best to let it go, it would never sink deeper, where it belonged. The ghost was hovering close, waiting to say “hi.”
2
Darek
Darek made it to the station in record time, but that didn’t stop Max from complaining. The car had barely come to a stop when he opened the door and climbed inside, voicing his complaints.
“It’s about fucking time, man.”
Detective Maxwell Smith lived to give Darek a hard time. As partners, the two were considered a powerhouse team, and they had formed quite the brotherly bond.
“Fuck you,” Darek said. “I came as fast as I could. I even used the light.” He pointed to the flashing red light on his dash and cut the thing off.
Max shut the door and buckled up. “Well, it’s about damned time. You never use the light. Did you get my text with the location?”
Darek pulled away from the curb. “Yeah, we’re on our way. That’s not a bad neighborhood; seedy, but cleaner than most.”
Max tapped the passenger door panel with his thumb. He always did that on the way to a body, like the rush of excitement was too much for him. “It’s an old hotel. The place is struggling to stay open. This is either going to kill it or give it the attention it needs. You can never tell with these places.”
“Any attention is good attention when you’re struggling,” Darek said. “Someone should tell that to my wife.”
“Oh damn,” Max said. “Sounds like you had another rough morning.”
“Yeah, I didn’t get home in time to fuck her. She’s got this new app she’s trying. You’d think we had fertility issues from the way she’s timing this shit out. I want to fuck just to fuck, you know?”
Max nodded. “Right, and if it happens, it happens. I still hold to my original advice.”
“Your original advice was not to marry her,” Darek said. “You told me that all the way up the altar. I was scared to death you’d do something unbecoming of your best man’s title and lose the ring.” Darek flipped the light on again, just to get through traffic.
Max laughed. “That would have been expected, and you know me, I’ve never done a predictable thing in my life.”
The bastard had a point. He was full of surprises.