“Yeah,” Mrs. Bellow said. Her voice was thin as a breath. “Why do you think . . . why do you think she said that?”
“I don’t know,” Meredith said. “I really don’t.” She could see Lisa clearly, standing at the counter, glancing up, meeting her eyes through the glass door of the Deli Barn. “I think maybe she was just being nice,” she said.
“Yeah,” Mrs. Bellow said. “Maybe . . . maybe so.”
“I hope you have a good Christmas,” Meredith said. “I mean . . . ”
“Thank you,” Mrs. Bellow said quickly. “And same to you.”
Meredith turned and walked across the Bellows’ front yard toward the minivan. Through the drifting snow she could see her mother, who looked for all the world to be sound asleep in the driver’s seat. Her eyes were closed, her head tilted back, her chin pointed forward. She looked, Meredith thought, almost absurdly relaxed, like she was on a beach instead of in a minivan. It was weird to be so comfortable—wasn’t it?—in a van, of all things, a van, a big blue metal box with wheels, a suburban cliché held together with screws and rods and whatever else held cars together. There was nothing at all special about their minivan. There were parking lots full of them, exactly identical to theirs. This wasn’t the kind of vehicle you remembered when you got old. It was just a thing that took you places with your family. It was just a way to get where you were going.
But maybe . . . maybe her mother loved the van as much as she did. Maybe there was no place else she would rather be. Maybe that was why she had made the decision that they would drive west for Christmas. And right now, maybe she was imagining what it would be like when they headed out first thing tomorrow morning, the smell of coffee, the glare off the windshield, the click of the blinker, the hum of the tires, the entrance ramp, the van full, the day, the night, the road, the miles, the parents, the children, the journey.
Just as she reached for the door handle her mother opened her eyes and turned to her, startled. The look on her face was something like surprise. It was almost as if her mother was not expecting her. Meredith opened the door and slid into the passenger’s seat.
“Okay,” she said.
“Okay what?” her mother said.
“I’m ready,” Meredith said.