The Confessions

“Finally.” She held up her hand, and he slapped it in a high five. “Absolve me good and hard, Father Ballard. This adulterous harlot needs it.”

“You promise you feel contrite about your sinful urges?”

“I do. I really do. I’m trying to be a good girl these days. My only two lovers are S?ren and Nico. No more married guys, especially not ones raising small children. No more drama. I fuck a priest and I fuck my priest’s lover’s son and that’s as drama-free as this bitch gets.”

“This is the strangest confession I’ve ever heard in my life, and that includes all of Marcus’s various and sundry perversions.”

She winked at him. “You’re welcome.”

“Any other sins we’ve missed? Anything you didn’t confess to Marcus?”

“I got Dairy Queen on Ash Wednesday.”

“Now that’s a mortal sin if I’ve ever heard one. Go on. Say your Act of Contrition…”

“Lord God, I am sorry for my sins. I am. I have sinned against you and against your Church. Forgive me for my sins and lead me with your grace and love.”

“God the Father of mercies, through the death and resurrection of your son, you have reconciled the world to yourself and sent the Holy Spirit among us for the forgiveness of sins. May God grant you pardon and peace. And I absolve you of your sins, in the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,” he said as he made the sign of the cross in front of her and she crossed herself accordingly. “Amen.”

“Amen,” she said.

“Feel better?”

“I like the prayer of absolution better in Latin.”

“Out of my confessional, you bewitching temptress. And give me my Jolly Rancher back. Cherry is my favorite.”

She popped it in her mouth.

“Jezebel,” he said, shaking his head.

“Thank you, Father.” She held out her hand to shake and instead he kissed the back of it as gallantly as an old man with a touch of palsy was able.

“You’re good for him, and I’m glad he has you,” he whispered. “But don’t ever tell anyone I said that.”

She gave him a tiny smile. “Our little secret,” she whispered.

She started for the door and then stopped. “Wait. Penance. Are you giving me any penance?”

“Penance? You? His lover? My dear Eleanor—you love a priest. The sin itself carries its own penance.”

She laughed and it was such a laugh he knew her soul was healed.

“Shouldn’t you at least tell me to go forth and sin no more?” she asked, leaning in to hug him goodbye.

“Why on Earth would I do that?” he asked, wrapping his arms around her and enjoying the feel of a beautiful woman’s body against his. No sin there. And if there was, it was only venial. “This is the most fun I’ve had in years.”

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