Slouch Witch (The Lazy Girl's Guide to Magic, #1)

I forced my eyes open. I could just make out Winter’s features. He hissed in irritation and reached into his pocket, taking out a small bag of herbs. He put the tiniest pinch under my nose and I gasped.

‘I can breathe.’ I started to cough. ‘Oh, thank goodness.’ I blinked rapidly and looked round the room. Weathers was still in the far corner, groaning loudly. Bethany and Rebecca were completely prone. I stared. ‘Did you bring down three witches?’ I asked, my voice thready and weak.

Winter sighed. ‘Yes.’

‘In about three seconds?’

‘There might be three of them, Ivy, but they’re only First Level. Knowing one or two Second Level spells doesn’t make you Second Level. They’re not as good as they think they are.’

Apparently, neither was I. I grabbed Winter’s hand and struggled to my feet. ‘You really are that good, though.’

‘Yeah,’ he said simply and without a trace of ego. ‘I really am.’

I considered this. There was something to be said for Order training after all. I pursed my lips. ‘Thanks,’ I muttered.

‘No problem.’ Winter hesitated. ‘Thanks for getting these three to confess.’

I felt suddenly abashed. ‘I guess we make a pretty good team.’ I flicked a look at Weathers. ‘You could have been part of that!’ I called. ‘There will be no Wilde Wintry Weathers now!’

Winter rolled his eyes. ‘Next time, don’t burst in through the door like that. At least not without discussing it with me first. You repeatedly prove that you have no regard for your own safety. You could have been seriously hurt.’

‘I was seriously hurt! I’m going to require several weeks of convalescence. I almost died! Again! What took you so long anyway?’

‘I was hiding in a cupboard and the vacuum cleaner got in my way.’ He inclined his head towards mine. ‘Don’t tell anyone.’

I smirked. ‘My lips are sealed. Honest. I wouldn’t tell anyone that the big bad Adeptus Exemptus Raphael Winter almost got his partner killed and missed a fight because a household appliance got in his way.’

‘Ivy…’

I grinned. ‘What?’





Chapter Twenty-Five


I got out of the car feeling more knackered than I’d ever felt in my life. Even my bones were weary. It had been a long time since I’d returned home when the sun was shining. All the same, there was an odd buzz of euphoria running through my veins. We’d solved the crimes, Winter and me. I was starting to see why he liked his work so much. Only starting, mind; I wasn’t a total convert. But if the Order brought in a three-day working week, I might be persuaded…

Winter climbed out from the other side of the car and we shared a glance of satisfaction. With his normally pristine clothes messed up, and with his top button undone and his tie askew, he looked rather adorable. I glanced down, taking in the state I was in. Well, at least one of us looked good.

‘Out of curiosity,’ he murmured, ‘what did you wish for? With the eyelash?’

‘A lie-in tomorrow,’ I chirped.

‘You’re kidding me.’

‘Nope.’

Winter sighed dramatically but I swear I spotted the ghost of a smile on his lips. As if to cover it, he knelt down and started tying his shoelace. From the other side of the road, there was the sound of a car door closing and a familiar voice.

‘Ivy! I’m so glad I caught you!’ Iqbal darted across, his face split into a wide grin.

I gave him a quick hug. ‘Hey! Good to see you. What are doing here?’

His smile stretched even further. ‘You’re gonna love me,’ he promised.

I bopped him on the arm. ‘I already do, Iqqy pop.’

Iqbal took my hand and began to murmur. A strange itching sensation rose up my arm, then it turned to burning. Suddenly alarmed, I tried to yank my hand away. My heart began thumping against my chest and I could feel sweat breaking out across my brow. I stared at Iqbal in horror but he continued to smile, although his teeth were gritted at the same time as if he were concentrating very hard.

‘What the…’ I heard Winter exclaim from the other side of the car. He staggered upwards just as Iqbal finally released me.

The pain vanished almost immediately. Iqbal swept out a proud bow. ‘You’re welcome!’ he beamed.

‘The binding,’ I said slowly.

He nodded vigorously and opened his palm to reveal what I knew was ossombe root. There was only a tiny quantity but it had been enough. The invisible magic thread that bound me to Winter was most definitely gone. I didn’t need to test it to be sure, I just knew.

‘After your phone call yesterday,’ Iqbal chirruped happily, ‘I knew things were getting desperate. I asked around and found an old professor of mine who happened to have some ossombe root lying around in his study. He agreed to give it to me if I gave him an outline of my thesis by the end of the month.’ A faint furrow creased his forehead. ‘So you really owe me now, Ivy. I deserve at least one ballad.’

My mouth was dry. I swallowed several times and looked helplessly at Winter. His face was an implacable mask. ‘We’re free,’ I whispered.

Winter pulled back his shoulders. ‘It would appear so.’

Iqbal gave him a nervous glance. ‘Hi, Adeptus Exemptus Winter. I didn’t see you there until it was too late. I hope you don’t mind that I took off the binding but I knew that Ivy was getting desperate.’

Winter didn’t look at him; his eyes were trained on me. All I could do was shrug awkwardly. ‘Yeah,’ I said. ‘Desperate.’ Darn it.

A curious expression crossed Iqbal’s face as he realised that I wasn’t jigging around as ecstatically as I should be. He lifted his shoulders and gave me a funny look then, putting my lack of joy down to Winter’s brooding presence, he clapped me on the shoulders. ‘The Cauldron,’ he said. ‘Seven o’clock tonight. You can come too, Adeptus,’ he called across to Winter. ‘You’ve not lived until you’ve heard Ivy sing. I need to head off and start that outline but I expect you to be on time.’ He waggled his fingers. ‘You both owe me big time.’

My shoulders dropped. Arse.

With Winter by my side, I climbed the stairs up to my floor. I didn’t even call for the lift; it just seemed like too much effort. Winter didn’t say a word and neither did I. For once, I didn’t know what to say.

Near the top, footsteps tripped up behind us. Thinking it was Iqbal again, I turned. My heart sank. Eve. Any euphoria I’d felt five minutes ago was now well and truly gone.

‘Ivy!’ Genuine delight crossed her face. ‘It’s so good to see you! Honestly, you wouldn’t believe all that’s happened to me. In fact…’ Her voice faltered as she realised who was standing beside me. ‘Adeptus Exemptus Winter. What are you doing here?’

Winter coughed and looked at me. I scratched my neck. ‘Maybe we should go to my flat,’ I suggested. ‘You can make me a cup of tea and we can talk about it.’

***

‘I’m being promoted to Second Level?’ Eve’s eyes were saucer-wide and shining.