Charlie and Paul’s seats are up in the gods. I climb a thousand steps and will probably need oxygen by the time I get up there. I think I’ll have to grip the seat in front to stop myself feeling as if I’m falling forwards as this tier is dizzyingly high. The arena is vast and filling quickly. Someone beaming widely comes to sit next to me, so I guess that Charlie managed to sell their spare ticket which is great. I hope that Charlie and Nice Paul are enjoying meeting Gary, Mark and Howard. I feel a pang of envy, but it’s only momentary. They deserve those tickets way more than I do and Mason Shagger Soames deserves to cough up for them.
Then the concert starts and I sing my heart out, jig my feet off, sway along, enjoy the fabulous show – even though the lads look like tiny ants on the stage. The light show is stunning and they’ve got the dance moves down to a tee. They faultlessly and fabulously go through all their old favourites and hits from their new album. Thank goodness I’m word-perfect due to Charlie. I only falter when they sing ‘A Million Love Songs’ and ‘Why Can’t I Wake Up With You’ and then the words stick in my throat and I suddenly feel very alone, despite the joyous crowd, and I have a few tears. That bastard. I vowed that I’d never let another man do this to me. Meanwhile my phone continues to buzz in my pocket like an angry wasp. Well, Mason can ring all he likes, we’re done.
The concert finishes with an encore of ‘Never Forget’ and ‘Rule the World’ and I finally feel like a true fan – a fully fledged Mad Thatter. Over the last few hours, I’ve fallen in love with Take That and perhaps I’ll do as Charlie does and save myself just for Gary Barlow. There are worse things in life.
My ears are ringing when the concert ends from all the screaming around me and, despite my sadness, I feel quite light. This has done me the power of good. I might even get a Take That tattoo. A discreet one.
I stand outside the venue waiting for Charlie and Nice Paul, an earworm of ‘Pray’ going round in my head. I even feel moved to break out the dance moves. Eventually, I spot my friends in the crowd and wave frantically. When Charlie comes towards me I can see that an expression of pure ecstasy is written large on her face. Her hair is plastered to her head with sweat and she’s pink in the cheeks. I also note that she and Nice Paul are holding hands.
‘Was that not completely fabulous?’ Charlie squeals. ‘I think I’ve died and gone to heaven.’
‘It was amazing,’ I agree. ‘They certainly know how to put on a show.’
‘We were right at the front and both Gary and Mark grabbed my hand. Yay! Gary came down to sing to the fans and was jiggling his bum right in front of me! I’m totally in love.’ She shows me video evidence of her close encounter on her phone.
‘Wow.’ Any closer and I think her nose would have been in his nethers. ‘It’s not only his bum that’s jiggling. Has he got any undergrunts on?’
‘Who cares? It was a magical moment. I thought about pulling him on top of me.’ She gazes fondly at her screen. ‘Your seat was OK?’
‘It was great. Perfect.’ In fairness, I can’t say that I got an exceptional view of GB’s testicles or botty, but I was happy enough. ‘And your Meet and Greet?’
‘I got to hug Gary and give him a kiss. He recognised me straight away.’
‘That’s fantastic.’
‘He signed my arm.’ She does a happy dance as she sticks out her arm for my perusal. ‘I’m never going to wash again!’
‘I can see another tattoo heading your way.’
‘God, yes,’ she breathes, ecstatically and gazes fondly at her own arm. ‘It’ll match my other one.’
Nice Paul smiles at her indulgently. ‘I restrained myself to shaking his hand, but it was great. Thanks, Ruby.’
‘My pleasure.’
‘Have you heard from Shagger?’ Charlie asks.
‘Yes. Many times, but I haven’t spoken to him.’
‘Tell me that you won’t.’
‘No way.’
‘You’re a beautiful lady and will find someone nice one day. Someone just like Gary. But neeeeeveeer forget,’ she sings the appropriate words, ‘that I have first dibs on him.’ Happily, Charlie links her arm through mine on one side and Nice Paul’s on the other. They look at each other in a loved-up manner. ‘Let’s go back to the hotel and get absolutely hammered.’
Sounds like a jolly fine idea to me.
Chapter Ninety-Six
The hotel bar is filled with fans all wearing tour T-shirts, raucously enjoying a drink, swapping stories of the concert and showing each other the merchandise they’ve bought at ludicrously inflated prices. The hotel is worn, a bit grubby, the sort of place that caters for budget coach parties. This lot don’t care at all. They’re just happy to be here in the Take That stratosphere.
Charlie and I find a sofa on the edge of the melee. While she and Nice Paul chat away to the other fans, I sit and enjoy a large glass of restorative red wine and wonder what Mason’s doing now. Valerie. That’s probably what he’s doing now. On my phone there are dozens of missed calls and a stream of increasingly apologetic texts.
The last text says, Forgive me, Brown. I’m a knob.
Finally, I text him back. At least we agree on one thing.
It wouldn’t be too difficult for him to work out where I am and, if it really mattered to him, he’d be down here looking for me. But he’s not.
When Nice Paul nips back to his room, I lean in to Charlie and say, ‘You two are looking very cosy.’ They haven’t put each other down since they got back from the concert.
Charlie does a silent squee. ‘I don’t know what happened,’ she says. ‘I hugged Gary and kissed him, then I turned to Paul and did the same. He didn’t seem to mind at all.’
I grin at her. ‘Certainly looks that way.’
‘I know you’ve been saying it all along, but he is a really nice bloke.’ Then she looks a bit sheepish. ‘I sort of said that I’d spend the night with him.’
‘Tart!’
‘I know. I hadn’t really noticed him until now – not properly. You’ve got to seize the chance when you can, right?’
‘I’m with you on that one.’
‘There’s just one snag.’ She grimaces at me. ‘He’s got a single bed in his room and I’ve got a double.’
‘What you’re not so subtly trying to say is that you’re blowing out your best mate for Nice Paul.’
‘Yeah,’ she agrees. ‘Is that awful of me? You don’t mind?’
I hug her. ‘Of course I don’t. Have a fab night.’
‘I intend to.’
‘Don’t call out “Gary” at the wrong moment or there’ll be trouble.’ We both snarf at that. ‘I know it isn’t very romantic, but you have condoms?’
‘I haven’t. It’s been a very long time since I needed those.’
‘I’ve got some in my bag.’ I fish around and, surreptitiously, hand them over.
‘How very modern of you,’ she says. ‘But thanks.’ Charlie looks anxiously at the packets in her hand. ‘I hope I’ve got enough. He’s so going to get it.’
We are still guffawing guiltily when Nice Paul comes back.
‘Good to see you happy, ladies.’
‘I’ve just been discussing our sleeping arrangements with Ruby,’ she admits when she’s got her giggles under control. I think that I might even see her blush. ‘She’s OK about taking your room.’
‘Thanks, Ruby,’ he says. ‘As long as it’s not putting you out.’
‘No problem.’ Given my previous history, they could have asked me for a threesome. ‘I’m going to head up there now, if you don’t mind.’
So Paul gives me his key and I pull him to one side. ‘Be nice to her,’ I whisper. ‘I don’t want to see her hurt.’