Love: Uncivilized (Uncivilized, #1.5)

“Why are you scowling at the pasta, Moira dear?” Randall asks, and I lift my face to him.

He’s helping Jaime hold a small cup of water to drink from, insistent she’s ready to give up the sippy cup and hey… if he can get her to drink without spilling, I’m all for it. Cannon is quietly tapping away on my laptop I had opened on the table; it’s purely amazing what small kids can do with technology these days and the abundance of apps for their entertainment and learning. I’m not sure how I’d ever get a damn meal cooked without Barney for Jaime and electronics for Cannon.

I give a sigh and lay the truth out to Randall, because even though I don’t have the same, life-long connection that Zach has to him, I’ve come to greatly love him. He’s done so much for Zach… for me… for our family. And he does it out of pure love without the expectation of anything in return. He’s become a father figure to me as well as Zach, and I trust in our relationship to seek his advice when necessary.

Lifting the colander, I give a shake to the pasta as steam wafts up. “Just missing my husband. All he seems to do is work.”

I know that sounds whiny. There are some who would think I was stupid to divulge this to what is essentially Zach’s boss, but Randall is first and foremost family, and I have no such hesitation.

Randall nods in understanding. “I know he’s put in a few late nights here and there, and tonight… well, Charlie resigning was out of the blue.”

I give Randall a quick look of disbelief and shake my head. Is it possible that he doesn’t truly know how absent Zach has been for several months now?

“Randall… this is the fifth night in a row he’s missed dinner. The last four nights he hasn’t come home until after ten each night, and this has been pretty par for the course for months now.”

Randall gives a little jerk in his chair and pulls the cup back from Jaime. He actually starts to bluster a little bit. “Well… I mean, I’m sure he’s working and that there’s not anything untoward happening—”

I let out a bark of a laugh, which stops him mid-sentence. “Relax, Randall… I don’t think Zach is cheating on me. I’m sorry if you got that impression.”

“Oh, well,” he mutters with chagrin.

“It’s just… he’s missing out on so much with the kids, and I’m lonely because all I have is the kids. Granted, I’m going to be starting work next week, but that still doesn’t mean he won’t be missing out on stuff, and it will even impede on our time together further. It’s just—”

“Intolerable?”

“Frustrating.”

“Unbearable?”

“Frustrating,” I repeat. “I know his work is important, and he’s trying so hard to make you proud and comfortable with the opportunities you’ve given him.”

“But I am proud of him,” Randall says in confusion. “And he has nothing to prove to me. I know Zach’s value.”

“Well, I’m not sure he sees eye to eye with you on that,” I tell him as I dump the pasta onto a big platter. I start to spoon the sauce over the top as Randall gets up from his chair. He walks around the kitchen island that separates us and sets the small, plastic cup in the sink.

Jaime curiously eyes both of us, her eyes sliding over to the spaghetti, which is her favorite.

“I feel a bit guilty,” Randall says as he leans over to rest an elbow on the counter. He’s as dapper as ever with his snowy-white hair, youthful skin, and fashionable mauve button down with crisp, gray slacks.

“Why’s that?” I ask as I turn to the cupboard to pull out the plates.

“Well… I’ve had no problem with letting Zach step in and take over so many of my own duties. I should be there tonight handling Charlie’s resignation. It’s just… I’m trying to get him to learn all he can about the business. And he handles it all so effortlessly. But I never thought the fact it seems effortless is coming at the expense of him running himself into the ground… or impinging on your marriage.”

“It’s not hurting our marriage,” I hastily assure him as I turn from the cupboard and give him a confident smile that I truly don’t feel. It’s so hurting our marriage if it’s causing me to feel this way, but I don’t want to make Randall uneasy.