TWENTY-SEVEN
A FEW HOURS LATER we were trudging south along the cobblestone road. When Malachi had returned to the apartment and woke me up, the look on his face confirmed that he was still furious with me. Now I was doing my best to pretend like I wasn’t in horrible pain, because something about it put him in a homicidal mood. As a result, my teeth ached from swallowing back the whimpers and groans that tried to escape with every step.
I held Nadia’s hand. She was unlikely to keep walking without being led. Malachi strode silently by my side but had not looked at me since we left the apartment. We reached a major intersection, and he turned left. I followed his path with my eyes and looked up to see the dark tower looming in the distance.
I froze. “No.”
Malachi looked over his shoulder at me. “This is the quickest way. We’ll be back at the Station by nightfall.”
I shook my head as my hand tightened over Nadia’s. “She can’t go through the tower. She won’t make it.”
“You must see Raphael soon.” Malachi closed the distance between us in less than a second and laid a hand across my forehead. “You’re already starting to run a fever. This infection is serious, and it will kill you.”
I took a step back and shook him off. “There’s no choice. Just get us there as quickly as possible without going through downtown.”
He grasped my shoulders. “It will take almost two days to go around. You may not have that much time.”
“What are the odds I’ll get to the Station alive if we go around downtown?”
“Less than twenty percent.”
I rolled my eyes. “Oh ye of little faith. I thought I amazed you, but obviously you don’t give me much credit.” His grip on me turned steely, letting me know I was sorely testing his patience. “Fine. Twenty percent. Now, look at Nadia. Look at her.”
He did his own eye roll but complied. Nadia stared straight ahead, not paying attention to our conversation. Her pupils were pinpoints once again. Tears stained her face. Malachi looked back at me, but his rigid expression gave nothing away.
“Tell me the odds she’ll make it through the tower. Look me in the eye and tell me that freaking monster building won’t eat my friend,” I said harshly, though all I wanted was to fall into him, to comfort both of us in the face of this hopeless situation.
He shook his head stiffly. “I’ve already lost Ana,” he said hoarsely. His hands slid from my shoulders to my neck, resting there lightly, his thumbs brushing my skin. He lowered his forehead to mine and closed his eyes. “If I lose you…” He abruptly released me and turned his back. He marched straight ahead, taking the route that would allow us to avoid downtown—and the dark tower. I followed with heavy feet, weighed down by my tainted victory.
To pass the time, I spoke to Nadia, urging her to recall the times we’d had together. I babbled on and on—about the first time she took me to Newport and made me eat a quahog, about the time she’d tried to teach me one of her cheers and I’d fallen on my ass, about the time we should have been studying for a history exam but spent the evening trying to build a model of the Eiffel Tower out of Twizzlers. I kept looking for a sign, any glint of growing awareness, any hint she was coming back to herself. But she remained unreachable. Tears seeped constantly from her eyes, and the only time she spoke was to ask when it would end. My chest throbbed with anger and fear every time those words left her mouth. This was not how it was supposed to go.
Malachi set the pace, and it was brutal. He didn’t ask us to run, but he didn’t allow us to take breaks either. He allowed me to stop briefly to force some water down Nadia’s throat, but that was it. His expression was cold and his voice was icy. He did not make eye contact.
I wondered if it was better for him that way, if it was what he should have done ages ago. I wondered if it would protect him from what I was feeling now. From the ache in my chest every time his eyes slid past me without looking. From the lance of pain through my heart every time he brushed past me without stopping. From the sting of tears in my eyes as I thought about how badly I wanted to lean on him, to feel his hands on me, to taste his mouth on mine.
I supposed I should have been glad. This was good for him, right? I had taken so much from him, and now he wasn’t going to let me take any more.
As time passed, I lost count of the rounds of fever and chills, each one leaving me weaker. I kept my eyes glued to Malachi’s purposeful strides as he led us through the city. As long as he was in front of me, I stumbled forward, towing Nadia along. It felt like I was running after him but couldn’t quite keep up. My heart raced. I couldn’t catch my breath. My feet grew farther and farther away as my head stretched from my neck like a helium balloon on an endless string.
And then I was amazed to find myself on the ground. I had no idea how I got there.
I wasn’t there long. Malachi lifted me from the street, and then I was in his arms. He didn’t say a word.
“Make sure Nadia keeps walking,” I mumbled.
He nodded.
My head bobbed against his shoulder. I stared at the side of his face. “I’m sorry I’m hurting you.”
He continued walking, his face hard, refusing to look at me.
I wanted to touch him, to stroke my fingers down his cheek, but I couldn’t lift my arms. I sighed. “You’re so freaking beautiful, Malachi. I could look at you for a million years and never get tired of it.”
The muscle in his jaw began to twitch. I squinted to bring it into focus. Everything was blurry. I giggled, finding my sudden inability to see terrifically funny. But some rational part of me knew it was a very bad sign. It might be the last time I ever got to look at him. I found myself desperately wishing I had my camera.
“In case I don’t get to tell you later, thank you for everything.”
“Shut up.” He clutched me against his chest. “I don’t want to hear this right now.”
“You’re the only person I’ve ever wanted to touch…me,” I wheezed. I tried to take a deep breath, but the air was too thick. It was drowning me.
“Lela, you’re delirious. Save your breath.” His voice was harsh, but I heard its shakiness.
“Whatever you say.”
He snorted. “‘Whatever you say’? Now I know you’re delirious.” But he lifted me higher and held me closer, tucking my head into the crook of his neck. “We’ll be back at the Station in a few hours,” he said softly. “Stay with me.”
I smiled against his skin. “I’m not going anywhere.”