RUSH
Dean walked over to the sofa and sank down on it before pulling out a pack of cigarettes. Shit. He was not what I wanted to deal with right now. “Can’t smoke in here or around Blaire, for that matter. It’s bad for the baby.”
Dean cocked one of his eyebrows. “Hell boy, I’m pretty damn sure your momma smoked cigarettes when she was pregnant with you.”
I had no doubt that she did that and more. No way I’d expose my kid to that stuff. “Doesn’t mean it’s healthy. Blaire is nothing like Mom.”
At the mention of her name, Blaire walked into the living room carrying two beers. I hadn’t asked her to get them. I didn’t like to see her wait on anyone. But she did it anyway. I walked over and met her halfway. “You didn’t have to get these,” I told her taking them from her as I placed a kiss on her temple.
“I know. But we have a guest. I want him to feel welcome.”
The sweet smile on her lips made it hard to concentrate on my dad. I wanted to take her up to the bedroom.
“Bring me the beer boy, and stop being so damn overbearing. You’re gonna smother the girl. Don’t know what the f*ck has gotten into you.”
A small bubble of laughter came from Blaire’s lips and I decided since he’d made her laugh I’d overlook his words.
“Here,” I said, shoving the beer his way. “Now, why’re you here?”
“What? Can’t a dad come see his son when he wants to?”
“It’s Rosemary. You never come here.”
Dean shrugged and took a swig of his beer, then threw an arm over the back of the sofa and propped both his feet up on the coffee table. “Your sister is a crazy bitch. She’s f*cking insane. We need help.”
It was about Nan. I’d thought it might be. I sat down on the chair across from him and held my hand out to Blaire. I didn’t want her standing and I wanted her to feel welcome in our conversation. She walked over to me and I pulled her down to sit on my lap. “What has Nan done?” I asked, almost afraid to hear the answer.
Dean took another long swig of his beer. Then ran his hand through his long shaggy hair. “Question is, what hasn’t she done. Damn girl is raising hell. We can’t get any rest. We finished up the tour two weeks ago and came back to LA to enjoy some down time. She showed up and all hell broke loose. No one is getting any down time. Kiro doesn’t know what to do with her. We need some help.”
I knew Nan had been quiet but I hadn’t expected her to go to LA and search Kiro out. She knew my dad and Kiro shared a Beverly Hills mansion. They’d been living in it when they weren’t touring all my life. Kiro had been married a couple times and he’d moved out during those times but after each divorce he came back. It was known as the Slacker Demon mansion. No one was ever really sure which band members were in residence at any given time.
“Is she staying at the mansion?” I asked.
Dad raised his eyebrows. “Do I look like an idiot to you? F*ck no, she isn’t staying there. She just shows up all the damn time. She’s making demands and shit. Kiro has tried to smooth things over and form some sort of relationship with her but she won’t let him. She won’t listen and she... well, she found out he has another daughter. Didn’t go over well.”
Apparently she didn’t know about Kiro’s son yet but then Mase never came around.
“She must be so upset,” Blaire said with actual concern in her voice. How Blaire could feel any sympathy for Nan I didn’t know. “You need to go see her. Help her deal with this and see if you can’t help her and Kiro form some sort of relationship.”
I started to disagree but Dean cut me off.
“I like her already. That’s exactly what you need to do. Your room is empty and you know it’s comfortable. Bring Blaire with you and that’ll give me a chance to get to know her and spend time with you as well. If you don’t Kiro may end up killing Nan.”
Blaire squeezed my shoulder. “I think we should go. Nan needs you.”
I tilted my head back and looked up at her. “Why do you care what Nan needs?” I asked in awe.
“Because you love her,” was her simple reply.
“This one’s a keeper. Now, enough about Nan. I wanna know when this baby is due and when the wedding is,” Dean said with a cheerful tone. Much different from the one he was using when he spoke about Nan.
Blaire looked over at my dad and smiled. “I’m twenty weeks pregnant. The baby isn’t due until mid-April. As for the wedding we were going to get married in two weeks but I don’t want this to be weighing on Rush. I’d rather put the wedding off and let him deal with family issues first. We haven’t mailed out invitations or anything. So changing the date isn’t a problem.”
“No. I’m not waiting any longer to change your last name,” I argued but Blaire put her finger over my lips.
“Shhh. I don’t want to argue about this. I can’t enjoy our wedding knowing you have family issues to deal with. Let’s enjoy Thanksgiving with our friends like we’d planned and then go to LA and deal with Nan. Once you have all that behind you then we can focus on our wedding.”
I didn’t want to wait. I hated the idea of her still being Blaire Wynn while our baby grew inside her. I wanted her to have my name and for the world to know I wanted her and my baby. But the determined gleam in her eyes told me I wasn’t going to win this argument.
“I just want you to be happy,” I finally replied.
Blaire kissed the tip of my nose. “I know you do. One of the many reasons I love you.”
“If you’re waiting until after Thanksgiving to head back to LA and deal with that sister of yours then so am I. Besides, it’s been years since I spent a Thanksgiving with you,” my dad announced.
I wasn’t sure how I felt about that.
“We would love to have you here, Mr. Finlay,” Blaire informed him, smiling brightly like she really meant it. F*ck. I was gonna have to let this happen.
“Just call me Dean, sweetheart. We’re already family.”
The pleased look in her eyes made me smile. Maybe having my dad around for Thanksgiving wouldn’t be so bad after all. If he could make Blaire smile then I’d deal with it.
BLAIRE
Talking about Thanksgiving had reminded me of my mother. This would be my first holiday without her. The more that sank in the harder it became to breathe. I forced a smile and made my excuses before rushing upstairs to take a shower. Rush needed some alone time with his dad anyway.
I let the tears I’d held back fall freely as I undressed and stepped into the shower. The warm water rained down over me as a sob broke free. Last year I had cooked our Thanksgiving meal and we had eaten it together in the dining room. No friends or family. Just the two of us. I’d cried that night too. Because deep down I’d known it was my last Thanksgiving with my mother. The memories of years gone by when Valerie and Dad had been there were bittersweet. My heart ached for all we’d lost. I hadn’t thought anything could hurt as badly but I knew now that I was wrong.
Facing the holidays without my mom was going to be hard. She loved Thanksgiving and Christmas. We would always start decorating the house for Christmas on Thanksgiving Day. Then we’d sit down and watch White Christmas together that evening while we ate leftover turkey and sweet potato casserole. It had been our tradition. Even after we lost Valerie and Dad had left us.
This year everything would be different. Knowing Rush would be with me and that I was starting a new family of my own eased the ache. I just wished my mother were here to see me this happy.
The door opened and I spun around to see Rush walk into the bathroom. He was frowning. He stopped and he studied me a moment before pulling his shirt off and throwing it onto the marble floor. Then he unsnapped his jeans and stepped out of them and his boxer briefs. I watched as he stepped into the shower.
“Why’re you crying?” he asked, cupping my face in his hands. I knew the shower had washed away my tears but my eyes must still be red.
I shook my head and smiled at him. I didn’t want to worry him with my emotions.
“I heard you when I opened the door to the bedroom. I need to know why, Blaire.”
I sighed and laid my head against his chest then wrapped my arms around his waist. I had lost a lot but God had made up for that by giving me Rush. I needed to remember just how blessed I really was. “The fact this is my first Thanksgiving without my mom kind of hit me,” I admitted.
Rush’s arms tightened around me. “I’m sorry, baby,” he whispered into my hair as he held me.
“Me too. I wish you could have met her, I mean, now that you’re older. I wish she could’ve seen you all grown up.”
“I wish I could have to. I’m sure she was as perfect as you are.”
Smiling, I wanted to disagree. I was nowhere near as perfect as my mother. She was one of those special people that the world doesn’t see often.
“If my dad being here is going to be hard on you I’ll send him away. I want to make this a good memory for you. Anything I can do to help you just tell me and I’ll do it.”
Tears trickled freely down my face again. Stupid pregnancy hormones made me a leaking fountain lately. “Having you with me makes it all better. Just talking about it made it sink in. Momma loved Thanksgiving. I knew last year was the last one we’d spend together. The entire day I did everything I could to make it special for her. And me. I knew I’d need that memory.”
Rush rubbed small circles on my back and held me in silence. We stood there while the water ran over us for several minutes. Finally he pulled back enough to look down at me. “Can I bathe you?” he asked.
I nodded, unsure what he meant. He reached for one of the clean washcloths stacked up outside the shower and picked up one of my bottles of body wash. Then he began washing my back and shoulders. He picked up each of my arms as if I were a child and washed them thoroughly. I stood there and watched him as he concentrated on cleaning every inch of my body. He didn’t make it sexual which surprised me. Instead, it was more sweet and innocent than anything else we’d ever done. His hand didn’t linger as he washed between my legs. He only pressed his lips to my stomach once as he knelt in front of me and washed my legs and feet.
Once he was finished he stood up and began rinsing my body with his hands. Each touch seemed almost reverent. As if he were worshiping me instead of washing me. When my body was clean he moved to my hair. I closed my eyes as his hands massaged my scalp. My knees went a little weak from the pleasure of it. Rush quickly rinsed the shampoo from my hair and then did my conditioning, giving it just as much attention before running my hair under the clean water again.
My body was relaxed from the pampering. I was almost sluggish. Rush turned off the water and reached for two large towels. One he wrapped in my hair and the other one he wrapped around my body. Then he picked me up, carried me to the bed, and laid me down.
“Just rest. I’ll be right back,” he whispered before kissing my forehead and walking back to the bathroom. The view of his naked ass was tempting and I wanted to stay awake. Having him touch me that way had turned me on even if that hadn’t been his intention. I tried to wait on him but my eyes grew heavy and I faded away.
I snuggled deeper into the warmth. It smelled of sunshine and ocean air. Sighing contentedly, I rubbed my cheek against the comforting warmth. It chuckled.
My eyes opened and Rush’s bare chest was pressed up against my face. Smiling, I kissed it and peered up at him. The amused smirk on his lips only made me giggle.
“You’re like a little kitten in the mornings,” he said with a deep husky voice. He must have just woken up too.
“If you didn’t feel so good I wouldn’t be searching you out to rub up against you in my sleep.”
Rush winked. “Then I’m glad I feel good because your sweet ass isn’t going to be rubbing against anyone else. I’d have to kill someone.”
I loved this man.
“I’m sorry I fell asleep so quickly last night.”
Rush shook his head. “Don’t be. I love knowing I relaxed you and it was easy for you to fall asleep. I don’t like seeing you sad.”
I loved this man a whole damn lot.
Stretching against him, I slipped both hands behind his neck and pressed my body against his. I squeezed my legs from the tingle of anticipation when his erection brushed my upper thigh. I needed him this morning. After the sweet moment last night I needed to feel completely connected now.
“Make love to me,” I whispered tucking my head in the crook between his neck and shoulder.
“My pleasure,” he murmured and slipped his hand in between my thighs. He lifted one of my legs up and rested it on his hip. I was wide open and the exposed feeling excited me. His fingers grazed the inside of my thighs, teasing me by barely brushing at my swollen needy entrance. I whimpered, hoping to hurry him up but he would not be pressured. Instead, it seemed to make him worse. His rough fingertips traced patterns from my knees up to the very top of my thigh then back again.
I was positive that his play had caused me to get embarrassingly wet. “Rush, please.”
“Please what, sweet Blaire. What do you want me to do?”
I’d told him what I wanted already. Apparently, he wanted to hear more. Rush and his naughty talk always excited me. “Touch me.”
“I am touching you,” he replied.
“Touch me higher,” I begged. He wanted me to talk dirty. I was going to tease him too.
He ran his finger in in the crease of my thigh and I gripped his arms tightly and trembled. He was so close. “Here?” he asked.
I shifted so that his finger slipped closer. He started to move his hand away and stopped. “F*ck,” he moaned sliding his finger into me slowly. “So wet. I can’t tease you when you’re already so wet,” he whispered.
I cried out as he gently ran his fingertip over my *. He had me spread open and having his hands touching me only made me crazier. I wanted more.
“My sweet girl was so ready for me,” he said moving two fingers inside me and pressing against my g spot.
The loud cry of pleasure that ripped out of me was more than he could handle. He grabbed my waist and positioned me over him before slowly sinking me down over his cock. “Damn, how’d it get tighter?” he growled, squeezing my hips and rocking against me as I sat down on him taking every inch inside me. This was what I’d wanted. To be full. Of Rush.
RUSH
Blaire wouldn’t agree to my idea of staying up in our room naked all day. She insisted we get dressed and visit with Dean. I was of the opinion he’d understand my desire to stay locked away with Blaire but she disagreed. Just proved what little she knew of my father’s rock star life.
I left her drying her hair and headed downstairs to start fixing breakfast. She hadn’t eaten much last night at the party then she’d come home and gone to sleep before she could eat.
Dean was standing in my kitchen pulling out items from the fridge and setting them on the island. I stood there and watched him a moment trying to figure out what he was doing. He got the milk out then paused and looked over at me.
“Good morning. I wasn’t sure you’d be coming out of the bedroom today the way you’d chased her upstairs last night when she left. I was going to tempt you both with breakfast.”
I leaned back against the counter and crossed my arms over my chest. “I tried to keep her upstairs with me. She insisted we come visit with you,” I explained.
Dean chuckled. “Like father, like son.”
“I’m nothing like you. The woman I got pregnant happens to be my heart. I’ll marry her and spend the rest of my life doing everything I can to make her smile.”
Dean closed the fridge door and studied me. I could tell he hadn’t expected words like those to come out of my mouth. The last time I’d spent time with him I’d had a different girl in my bed every night.
“What makes her different? You’ve been with a lot of girls. Why her?” If he wasn’t honestly curious I’d have been pissed. But he only knew me before Blaire.
“When she walked into my house the first time and I laid eyes on her I was attracted to her. That part was easy. But then I got to know her. She wasn’t like any other girl I’d ever known. She was so determined when she should have been beat down. Her life had given her shit and she was fighting to live. She wasn’t going to back down or give up. I admired her. Then I got a taste and I was sunk. She’s everything I want to be.”
A slow smile spread across Dean’s face and then he nodded. “Well, alright then. Guess you know more about life than your old man ‘cause ain’t no woman ever made me feel like that. I’m glad you found it. That’s rare boy, so hang on tight. It won’t come around again.”
I never intended to let go. Dean looked around the room. “Where’s the mixing bowls? I’m gonna make the momma of my grandkid some scrambled eggs.”
My heart squeezed. “Second shelf to the left of the stove.”
“You get the bacon going. She needs protein,” he said as he got down a bowl.
I wasn’t going to argue. I always made sure she ate properly in the mornings. “She will want a waffle, too. I have a waffle iron for those,” I told him.
Dean nodded. “Good to know you’ve been taking care of her.”
We worked in silence for a few minutes. I wanted to ask about Nan and Kiro but I didn’t want Blaire to walk down here and have that be the first thing she heard. I liked her to enjoy her breakfast. Speaking about Nan was never a pleasant experience.
“Guess you know that Grant’s been seeing Nan,” Dean said as he whisked the eggs.
I froze. What? Had I just heard him correctly?
“I warned him she was as crazy as her momma and he needed to run like hell. I know she’s your sister and you love her but the girl is poison. Boy like Grant don’t need that. He’s always been a good kid. Hate to see her chew him up and spit him out.”
I still couldn’t find words. Grant and Nan... how the f*ck had that happened? If anyone knew how unstable Nan was then it was Grant. He’d grown up watching the shit she’d been handed from my mom and the father who never acknowledged her.
“Grant tried to come talk to her but she ran off with some guy she’d met at a club right in front of him. I think he’s done. Washed his hands of that. I hope so.”
I finally put down the waffle mix I’d been standing there holding as I stared at my dad like he was speaking gibberish. “Grant... was with Nan?” The disbelief in my voice got Dean’s attention. He turned to look back at me.
“Yeah. Guessing from the look on your face you didn’t know. Been dating for awhile from what I can tell. Poor guy looked really into her. But she’s just like her momma. He’s lucky to get out now.”
“How?”
Dean shook his head. “I wondered the same thing.”
I couldn’t talk about this with him. I walked out of the kitchen and toward the double doors leading out onto the back porch. Once I was outside I pulled out my phone and dialed Grant’s number. We told each other everything. Yet he’d been dating my sister and never said a word.
“Hey, bro.” His chipper voice greeted me.
“I know about Nan,” was all I said.
Grant let out a weary sigh. “I was hoping I’d be able to tell you about it. I wanted to. I just... she didn’t want me to and then she had the accident. Then, well... it’s over. She’s made it very clear that she doesn’t want anything serious with me. I can’t deal with her sleeping around. It wasn’t just a booty call. I’d have never done that with Nan. You know that. I really liked her. Maybe I cared too much.”
I sank down onto the chair beside me and stared out at the ocean. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I wanted to. She begged me not to. I cared about her, Rush. I wanted it to work. I did what she asked. But I felt like shit lying to you about it.”
He had cared about Nan? Wow.
“Dean says you’re done with her now.”
“She’s done with me. I can’t play her games.”
I loved my sister but I also loved Grant. She’d break his heart. She wasn’t good for him. My dad was right. Grant needed someone that could love him. I wasn’t sure Nan could. Relief that he was ending it with her wasn’t because I didn’t want them together but because I hated to think of Nan doing to Grant what my mother did in her past to the men who loved her. Grant deserved more than that.
“She can’t make anyone happy until she finds a way to be happy. Right now she has so much resentment in her that she will make miserable anyone who gets too close. Don’t let her do that to you.”
Grant was quiet for a minute. “She isn’t always a bitch. Part of me was falling in love with her for a moment. Then she ended that by reminding me how hard she would be to love.”
“I love my sister. But you deserve more. Nan isn’t whole. Not really. She has too many issues.”
“Thank you. I thought this conversation would go a lot differently. I didn’t expect you to be worried about me.”
“You’re my brother. I want what’s best for you too. I want you to have what I have. Go find that.”
Grant let out a laugh that sounded like he didn’t think it was possible. “That’s a pretty high order to fill.”