Forever Too Far

RUSH

By the time I got to Nan’s hotel room, I was pissed. I had left Blaire upset and it was all Nan’s f*cking fault. If she weren’t so damn selfish, I wouldn’t even be here. I needed to tell her that she had to grow up and deal. I was done. I couldn’t keep on doing this. She had to figure this out. I was her crutch.
I knocked on the door to her hotel room and waited. I’d checked with the doorman and Nan had returned about fifteen minutes ago so I knew she was here. I waited a few minutes then knocked again and got nothing. More damn games. I started pounding on the door harder. “Nannette, open this door,” I called out.
A bellman paused when he saw me beating on Nan’s door. “My sister’s in here and she isn’t answering. I’m worried about her,” I lied. “Could you open the door?”
The man still didn’t look too sure about me. I could tell by the look on his face he was close to calling security. Nan would love that. I reached in my back pocket and pulled out my wallet.  “Check my license. I’m Rush Finlay. My sister Nannette is in that room. Having me escorted out is a really bad idea.”
“Yes sir,” the bellman replied. He had recognized my last name. In LA that happened a hell of a lot more than it did in Florida. 
He had the door opened and I was stalking inside the suite getting ready to yell at Nan for being a child when I saw her crumpled body on the sofa. She was lying there in an unnatural position. I ran over to her and felt for a pulse to find a weak one against my fingers. I wanted to weep from relief. “I need paramedics, NOW,” I roared as the bellman stood at the door gaping at Nan.
“Yes, sir,” he replied and took the phone from his waist and started telling whoever was on the other end exactly what was going on.
“What did you do, Nan?” I asked as my heart slammed painfully against my chest. My throat was tight and I couldn’t get a deep breath. I hadn’t believed her. I had thought she was trying to get attention. I’d become like everyone else in her life. I had ignored her. I was a horrible brother. I held her against my chest as my phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out, saw Harlow’s name on the screen and tossed it aside. I wasn’t in the mood to talk to Harlow. She was part of what tormented Nan. I didn’t have anything to say to her at the moment.
I rocked her in my arms gently. This was Kiro’s fault. He’d pay for this. If something happened to her he’d pay for this. “I have you Nan. I won’t leave you but you can’t leave me,” I whispered as we waited for help.
It felt like forever before I heard feet pounding down the hall and the doorman say, “In here.”
Three paramedics came rushing into the room and I handed Nan over to them. They began checking her vitals as I stood there and watched helplessly. I heard my phone ring from where I’d tossed it on the floor. I should get it.
“She’s taken something. Do you know what it is?” one of the men asked me.
“No, I just got here,” I replied, numb. She’d overdosed. Holy shit. I ran to the bathroom and found two empty prescription bottles in the sink.  Too many pain killers. “F*ck!” I roared. A paramedic was beside me taking the bottles from me.
“We need to get her stomach pumped. Are you family?” he asked.
“Brother,” I managed to get out.
“You’ll do. Let’s get her out of here. You can ride in the ambulance,” he replied.
I watched in a daze of disbelief as they put Nan’s unresponsive body on a stretcher and began carrying her out of the room.  I followed. My phone rang in the distance but I left it. Right now I had to save my sister.


Six hours later I sat beside Nan’s hospital bed.  She hadn’t woken up yet but the doctors said they thought she’d have a full recovery. Apparently, I’d found her in time. She’d just passed out from the pills when I’d arrived.
I didn’t have my phone and I needed to call Blaire. She’d be worried about me by now. I hadn’t been ready to talk to her just yet. This wasn’t Blaire’s fault but I had been too sensitive to talk to anyone. I had needed them to tell me Nan would live before I could think about anyone or anything else. Now, I felt guilty for not calling Blaire.
Leaving my phone at Nan’s hotel hadn’t been smart. I had just been in a state of shock and nothing made sense at the time. I was going to get Nan some help and then I was getting Blaire out of LA and back to Rosemary. I needed to call my mother. She should be dealing with this. Not me.
Kiro wasn’t going to do anything about it. Nan wanted something she would never have. It was time she let it go. A nurse opened the door and walked in. I looked up at her and decided it was time I gave up trying to be everything to Nan because I sucked at it.
“I need to speak with the doctor. When she is ready I want her admitted into a facility that will help her get a grip on things. She needs help I can’t give her,” I said aloud for the first time in my life. I was admitting I’d failed my little sister. Instead of feeling guilty, I felt a huge burden lift from my shoulders.
“Doctor Jones will be in shortly. He’ll want to admit her as well. She does need help; I’m glad you’re in agreement. That always makes these things easier.”
Nothing about this would be easy but it was what was best for everyone.

   

BLAIRE

Rush still wasn’t back. He hadn’t answered my calls or texts. I’d been at the doctor for over four hours and he hadn’t once checked in with me. My baby was okay but the doctor said that I needed to rest, drink more fluids, and eliminate stress. The next step would be bed rest if I didn’t comply with this. Staying here and dealing with Nan wasn’t going to help me. I had to leave.
I glanced at my phone to make sure I hadn’t missed a call since the last time I’d checked it three minutes ago. I was trying not to worry about Rush. I needed to decrease my stress. My baby needed me to.
Harlow had been so quiet in the car. I knew she didn’t know what to say. Rush had never shown up or called. She’d tried to call him too. Her silence had been what I needed. I didn’t want to talk about it.
Going back to Rosemary didn’t sound appealing. Right now I wanted distance from Rush too. Rosemary would just make me miss him and think about him. A knock on my door broke into my thoughts and I opened it. Dean was standing on the other side looking tired.
“Rush called Kiro and he let him know that he’s called Georgianna to come here. We should be expecting her soon. Not sure how long it will take her to get here or where she was to begin with. I just thought you might want a heads up that the wicked queen was on her way here.”
Rush had called Kiro was all that I heard. The rest didn’t matter. “When did Rush call him?” I asked.
“An hour or so ago I guess. He just told me.”
  Rush was fine. He had his phone. He was just choosing not to respond to me. Once again I was faced with the brutal truth that Nan was more important. I nodded and closed the door.
I scrolled through my list of contacts until I found my dad’s number. He answered on the second ring.
“Blaire?” His surprised voice only reminded me of how little I called him. I could hear the wind from his boat.
“Daddy. I need to get away. Can I come visit?” I asked refusing to cry. I had made a call like this once before and although he had let me down in the end I’d thought I had found real happiness. I wasn’t so sure anymore.
“Of course. What’s wrong?”
“I just can’t take it anymore. I need somewhere to think.”
“You come to the Key West airport and I’ll be there waiting on you. Just let me know when your plane will land.”
“Okay, I’ll call you with the info as soon as I know. Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me. I’m your Dad. It’s what I’m here for.”
I squeezed my eyes tightly closed and hung up the phone. I was really going to leave Rush. My heart was breaking at the thought. I went to the Delta app on my phone and found the first flight out of LAX headed to Atlanta. I’d have a layover there before I got on a plane for Key West. After booking my flight, I packed my clothes quickly and called for a cab.
I knew that the grownup thing to do would be to leave Rush a note but I was too mad at him right now. I’d text him later. Maybe after he decided that returning my phone call was important.
No one saw me as I left the house and climbed into the cab. I was thankful. I didn’t want to explain myself. I shouldn’t have to.



   

RUSH

Georgianna was headed to LA.  She was going with Nan to admit her to the facility that the doctor suggested for her. Our mother would probably make sure it was the trendiest once she got here. I had already made sure it was the best medically. Georgianna would be more concerned with appearance than Nan’s mental well-being. Something was off with Nan and she needed someone to help her. I had a family to take care of. I couldn’t keep being responsible for my sister.
Once Nan had woken up and talked to me some I had told her that Mother was on her way. When she’d fallen back to sleep I had left and gone to get my phone. Blaire had called me several times along with Harlow. I had worried her and I had a lot of making up to do. I clicked on the first text from Blaire.

Harlow brought me to her doctor. I was having cramps. They’ve given me an ultrasound and I’m in a room being monitored.

My stomach dropped. The baby. Oh God no. I started running for the elevators as I pulled up her next text.

Where are you?

NO!  I needed to know if she was okay.

“Are you okay?

F*ck! Was she okay? That was it. No more texts from her. I clicked on the first one from Harlow.

Blaire is cramping and bleeding. I brought her to my doctor and they are keeping her here a few hours to observe her and make sure she is okay. Call me, I’ll tell you where we are.

That was eight hours ago. F*ck! It was also the only text from Harlow. It was why she’d been trying to call me. NO MORE! NO F*ckING MORE! I was taking Blaire home tonight.
The last text I received from Blaire was five hours ago. Where was she? I dialed her number and it went straight to voicemail.  Was she in the hospital? No, no, she couldn’t be in the hospital. She had to be okay. Our baby had to be okay. I dialed Harlow’s number.
“Hello.”
“It’s Rush, how’s Blaire, where’s Blaire? I didn’t have my phone. God, tell me she’s okay. Please,” I rambled into the phone as I ran out the door of the hotel to my car.
“She’s okay. I think she’s worried about you and maybe... hurt,” Harlow replied.
A lump formed in my throat and it was hard to swallow. “I’m on my way. Please tell her I’m on my way. Nan took a shitload of painkillers and I’ve been at that hospital with her. They had to pump her stomach,” I explained. I didn’t want Blaire mad at me but more importantly, I didn’t want her hurting.
“Oh. I’m sorry,” Harlow simply replied.
“Please tell Blaire. I’m on my way there now,” I repeated.
“She didn’t come down to dinner. I knocked on her door to take a plate but she didn’t answer. I don’t want to go in there in case she’s sleeping. She’s had a long day.”
She wasn’t eating. She wasn’t answering her door. The fear of something happening to her, of finding her like I found Nan terrified me.
“Please, go open the door and check on her. Make sure she’s okay,” I begged.
“Okay,” Harlow replied after a pause.
I hung up and threw the phone on the other seat as I sped down Sunset Drive.

When I opened the front door of the house and found Harlow standing in the foyer with my dad I froze.  “What?” I asked, afraid to move.
“She’s gone. Her bags are gone. She’s not in another room I checked,” Harlow replied.
I shook my head and walked inside. “Gone? She can’t be gone! Where would she go?”
“Probably somewhere so she doesn’t have to deal with Nan’s shit and her fiancé running off and leaving her and not answering her damn calls. That’d be my guess. You’re a stupid f*cker, just like me son,” Dean said with disgust in his voice before walking away.
“I had to tell him why I was running around from room to room checking inside. He caught me,” Harlow whispered.
“Did she leave a note?” I asked, dialing her number again only to get her voicemail.
Harlow shook her head.
I stalked past her and took the steps two at a time before breaking into a run yet again. This day had gone from bad to f*cking disastrous. Jerking open the bedroom door the silence that met me was knee buckling. I could see the small imprint on the bed from where she’d laid down earlier today.  Harlow was right. She was gone. Every little trace of Blaire was gone. She’d needed me. Our baby had needed me and I’d been with Nan, again. I deserve to be left.
I closed the door behind me before leaning against the wall and sliding down to the floor to weep.  The fear of losing Nan had been terrifying but the idea of losing Blaire and my baby was unbearable. I didn’t deserve Blaire. I had promised her I’d always be there yet my family kept pulling me away. It was time I stopped letting that happen. But what if I was too late?
I shook my head and wiped the tears from my face. I’d find her and I’d beg. I’d grovel. Whatever I needed to do I would do it. Then I’d never leave her again. For anyone.